


This Is What You Came For

by thranduils1



Series: This Is What You Came For [1]
Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Secret Relationship, Shameless Smut, Smut, Undercover, Undercover Missions, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-06-23 03:57:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15597795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thranduils1/pseuds/thranduils1
Summary: Reader volunteers to go into Negan’s compound willingly to get inside information. Eventual Negan smut. Implied feelings between Reader and Daryl.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Moving my fics over from Tumblr. Originally posted 12/03/16. This fic is going to have a divergence at Chapter 8 for alternative endings and will be linked when I get to that chapter being posted.

“Just let him think I’m yours. You know he won’t be able to resist that. He seems to like to take things from people. And you’re his biggest target right now,” you told Rick, leaning against the counter, your arms crossed across your chest. You shot a look at Michonne and said quickly, “No offense to you of course.”

You, Daryl, Michonne, Rick, and Aaron were standing in Rick and Michonne’s kitchen after Negan had dropped them back off at Alexandria. You had not been there when everyone had been captured by Negan. You had opted to stay behind to help protect Alexandria. And to be honest, you were secretly relieved you had. You didn’t think you could have stood to see what Negan had done to your friends… your family.

Currently, you were trying to convince Rick to let you infiltrate Negan’s compound. By any means necessary. Negan had shown an interest in you when he had looked over the people of Alexandria which you had ignored. But, it might come in handy to get inside. Negan might have an upper hand now, but you knew with everyone’s help, your group could get the lead back again. And break free from his hold.

Michonne gave you a small smirk before she turned her eyes away from you to Rick, watching his reaction.

Rick sighed heavily, his shoulders dropping. “I can’t do that to you.” You opened your mouth to protest and he pressed on firmly, “I can’t let you do that.”

“You’ll get inside information,” you tried to argue.

“He’s a psychopath. I know you weren’t there when…” Rick trailed off, closing his eyes. A wave of emotion passed over his face. He swallowed sharply before opening his eyes again. Michonne was watching him closely, concerned. He focused in on you again. “He killed Abraham. He killed Glenn. In cold blood.”

“I know.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “But he insists he doesn’t hurt women.”

Rick scoffed loudly at this.

“You don’t know that for sure,” Michonne chimed in.

“No, you don’t,” Rick agreed, nodding at what Michonne said. “Could be all talk. For all we know, he beats women to death.”

“He didn’t choose any of the women though.”

“That doesn’t say anything,” Aaron spoke up.

“Exactly,” Rick commented.

Throwing your hands out, you gave a humorless laugh. “It’s something to go on. And when you get hints like that, you kind of have to take them. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. And I think the costs outweigh the risks in this situation.”

Daryl’s voice came up out of nowhere.

“Do I get a say in any of this?”

A small laugh left your mouth. “Daryl…”

He looked at you expectantly. The rest of the group watched the exchange with curiosity. They had had hint for a while that something had been brewing between the two of you and this was just one more indication of it.

“What do you want to say?” you finally asked.

“It’s not safe. I don’t like it.”

Short and to the point

“Well, no one is saying it is safe. And no one, especially me, is saying they like it.”

“Then why do it?” Daryl’s voice was sour.

Sighing loudly, you looked at Rick. Rick stared back at you intensely before clicking his tongue. Turning his eyes to Daryl, he said evenly, “We need to beat this guy.”

“By putting her out as bait?” Daryl spat, gesturing at you angrily, standing up straight away from the counter.

“I’m willing to do it.”

“Because you’re reckless!” The words left his lips like acid. If he was trying to show he cared, he was poor at showing it with his word choice and his tactic.

Cocking your head, giving him an incredulous look, you stood up straight yourself, readying to argue. Michonne noticed, stepping in quickly.

“Daryl, Y/N,” she said firmly, shooting the both of you knowing looks. You clenched your jaw, backing down quickly, leaning back against the counter. Daryl swaggered for a second before relenting, plopping back against the counter pissed off. She continued, “We need this. And if it doesn’t work, Y/N can come back.”

“You think he’s just gonna let her walk out of there?” Aaron questioned.

Michonne ground her teeth for a few seconds before answering. “I don’t know.”

Daryl scoffed loudly. “That’s what I don’t like about this. No one knows!”

“We didn’t know anything about going into kill his people either and everyone agreed on that. Which is a hell of a lot more dangerous than this I would like to point out. Risking a hell of a lot less lives!” you retorted.

The room fell silent, even Daryl. He chewed on his bottom lip furiously, turning his eyes away from you.

“Let me do this,” you finally spoke up quietly, staring directly at Rick. Everyone’s eyes were on you again but you were focusing on him and him to you the same. “I need to do this… for Glenn. For Abraham.” There were tears welling up in your eyes thinking of them. “For Maggie. For Sasha and Rosita. For us.” Rick was still silent, watching you. You pressed, “We need retribution, Rick.”

Rick’s chest moved up and down with his breathing, his eyes contemplative. Michonne reached out, touching his arm and his eyes slid to her. She rose her eyebrows at him, speaking silently through body language.

“What are you exactly thinking?” Rick asked finally.

Daryl’s expression fell and he shook his head angrily before storming out of the kitchen, leaving the group there. You flinched slightly at the door slamming behind him.

<> <> <>

A week later, Negan’s men reached Alexandria, as they had promised. Visiting every week to make sure everything was in tact and that they were getting what they had demanded.

“Can I talk to you? Privately?” you asked him, trying to make it sound like you were nervous. And to be honest, you were. As much as you had pressed Rick to allow you to do this, you were still nervous about going into the lion’s den without any protection whatsoever.

image  
(gif)

Negan cocked his head, examining you closely. “Sure, sugar,” he finally responded, a wide smile on his face. You felt a little sick to your stomach being this close to him. He gestured for you to lead the way.

The rule was that no one outside of the group that had been in the kitchen was to know of what you were doing. It was going to make it more believable if the less people knew and the reaction of you leaving them for Negan’s group was genuine shock. And anger. You were expecting anger because of the feeling of betrayal.

You walked past a couple of houses and when you knew you were out of ear shot of everyone, you turned around to face him.

“Now, you aren’t leading me to a trap are you, darling?” Negan chuckled, looking around, Lucille swung over his shoulder. He looked relaxed but you could sense he was ready, his hand tightened around her.

“No,” you breathed out. “I… um…” You forced yourself to look up at him. He was watching you with interest, his eyes roaming you. “What’s your compound like?”

A look of surprise passed over his face before he chuckled, “What you wanna know that for?”

Forcing yourself to shrug, you replied, “I don’t feel safe here. Rick… Rick isn’t protecting me anymore.” It pained you to lie about that. Rick had done everything to keep this group safe. “It’s like he doesn’t even care anymore. He hasn’t… touched me in weeks.”

Michonne’s face crossed your thoughts and you pushed it away. Rick wasn’t yours and it felt gross to lie like that.

You had definitely caught Negan’s interest, his eyes brightening.

“I don’t know. I don’t wanna be here anymore if I can help it,” you finished, shoving your hands in your pockets to hide your trembling hands.

“Well, shit. Rick’s mistreating his lady,” Negan sounded gleeful. “Motherfucker acted like he was a little saint.” You said nothing, meeting his eyes, trying to look sad. “Sweetheart, that’s a terrible sin for a man to do to his woman.”

Tucking you under the chin, he raised your head higher to get a good look at you. “He tried real hard to hide you, didn’t he? Didn’t even fucking look in your goddamn direction when I brought him back. And you were holding his little baby in your arms too.” He tsked, shaking his head before something clicked and he asked, “That baby yours?”

“No,” you answered quickly. “His wife’s… she died.”

He let your head drop and he asked, “You wanna come back with us?” You nodded. “No remorse whatsoever?”

You debated on how to answer this. Despite all the lying, you felt there should be some honesty, setting up the fact you were more than likely going to have to leave – or escape – at some point. “'Course there is. I’ve made relationships here. I’m just… feeling unwanted.”

A devilish smirk grew on Negan’s face. He leaned down slightly, peering into your eyes. You had to force yourself to not break eye contact with him. “I swear you won’t ever fucking feel unwanted at my compound, sweetheart.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this before we got to see the quarters that the wive's live in!

As planned, you had packed your bag, having it ready. As soon as Negan had given you the go, you had requested to go retrieve it to be able to leave with him.

When you made your way back towards the gate towards their trucks, Rick had taken up the mantel that he was supposed to. He had pushed his way through the crowd, making a beeline for you. You knew all the attention was on the pair of you. It made you sick thinking that this group of people – your family – were going to hate you for the time being. For seemingly betraying them to make bed in another camp.

Rick shoved his way past Negan’s men, who closed in on him, angry he had shoved them aside. Negan held up his hand, steadying them. You knew he was ready for this, wanting to see the reaction.

Of course he did.

“Where are you going?” Rick demanded, stopping in front of you.

You met his eyes and said coldly, “Away.”

Negan swung an arm around your shoulders, pressing himself close to you. “You know, Rick. If you didn’t mistreat women, or anyone for that matter – but especially attractive women like this – they wouldn’t leave you.”

It hurt to do this. Everyone was staring at you. They all knew about Michonne and Rick. But to have his reputation tarnished with this lie that you had been in his bed as well? It sent a ripple through the community. It was happening now. The expression on their faces.

You knew he was going to let them know as soon as you were gone. At least the people that would need to know you were sure. Like Sasha, Maggie, Rosita, Eugene… Yet, you hoped he would tell everyone. So they wouldn’t think I’ll of you but more importantly him. Rick was the center of the group and it needed to stay that way.

“How does it feel knowing that you’re losing everything?”

Carl was staring at you. You met his eyes briefly. He was hurt. Deeply. You could see it and his gaze hardened, noticing you were looking back at him. No. Not him too. You forced your eyes away from him.

“Y/N, please,” Rick begged.

He was such a good actor. You would have believed it too. You wanted to relent but you couldn’t. You stepped forward to face him directly.

“No,” you breathed out, before moving back away from him, pulling your bag around against your chest, adjusting its weight. Your side met Negan’s leather jacket. His muscular frame bordered yours, pulling you back to him.

“Anyone else?” Negan asked, smiling broadly, looking over the group of Alexandria that had gathered to give him his half of what they had reaped.

No one moved a muscle. Your eyes scanned the crowd. Daryl was nowhere in sight. Your heart sunk a little bit. You had wanted to see him before you left. Just in case. But… he had chosen to not be here to witness it. You were hurt. Even if he didn’t agree with it, you thought he would have been there to at least see you off. Even in a nonchalant way. But… nothing.

“That’s a fucking surprise,” Negan laughed, before wrapping his arm tighter around you and grinning back at Rick. “Say goodbye to your lady.”

“Y/N…” Rick pleaded again, stepping closer. Negan did nothing to pull you away. More than likely a test.

You stepped away on your own and said, “Just for a little while, Rick. Please.”

“A little while?” Negan chuckled, looking down at you. “You won’t ever want to fucking come back to this shit hole. I’ll make sure of that.”

That was a test. He confirmed he wasn’t going to let you leave easily.

“Rick here fucked up with you. Don’t forgive the cocksucker too easily, doll. Your pussy is as important as his worthless dick. No matter what he has neglected to do to show you that. Don’t forget that.”

You made eye contact with Rick once more. He was staring at you intently. You knew it was taking everything in him to stop himself from lashing out at Negan for speaking about him – about you, about the group – this way. He was back in acting mode immediately, the Rick you knew gone.

His voice cracked, “I’m sorry. Y/N, please. Don’t leave.”

“You can’t make me stay,” you forced out before turning away forcibly to avoid showing the people of Alexandria your tears that were stinging your eyes. You needed to stay strong. You felt Negan’s hand at your back, pushing you along further. You let him guide you, letting yourself go numb. You were leaving your family.

“Too-da-fucking-loo, Rick. I’ll be back next week. Maybe more of your people will want to leave. Though I doubt it’ll hurt as much as this, right, brother? I’m sure you’ll find something else to bury your dick in.” He threw a condescending wink in Rick’s direction.

Your fingers clenched on your bag that you had pulled in front of you. If it wasn’t for this plan, you would turn around and socked Negan for being so cruel to Rick. He was definitely doing the job of making this break hard and not whatsoever clean.

You caught sight of Daryl standing amongst the trees at the edge of Alexandria’s walls, watching you leave. You stalled for a moment, stopping in your tracks, your eyes locking with his. He looked upset… nervous. You felt the same.

The moment was broken as Negan appeared behind you, giving you an encouraging nudge forward. “Come on, sweetheart. We don’t have all day.”

You tore your eyes from Daryl, forcing yourself to move forward to get into the truck.

You wondered if you were ever going to see Daryl again. Your chest tightened at the thought of the possibility of never.

<> <> <>

The Sanctuary was cleaner than you thought it would be. But, it was over populated by men as you had expected it to be. Women were few and far between. Your eyes had fallen on the walker’s heads that were still alive on spikes at the gate and seemed to be all around the compound. It was barbaric.

Stepping out of the truck, you were greeted with an awaiting crowd. As soon as Negan made an appearance, leaving the truck, they began chanting and praying to him.

You furrowed your brow, recoiling a little bit. They were like a cult. In your retreat, you backed into Negan, clutching your bag to your chest.

Negan chuckled, and you craned your head to look back and up at him.

“Keep walking, darling. I got a place for you.”

Wearily, you looked back at the crowd before pushing yourself forward. One foot in front of the other. The crowd parted as you made your way and you knew Negan was following you. They were offering him blessings and prayers under their breath, bowing their heads. These people were insane. What had you gotten yourself into?

Negan seemed to acknowledge them briefly before leading you towards a part of the compound where a group of women, scantily clad, were standing outside of a door, watching Negan intently.

“Oi, who told you to come out?” Negan called out to them.

The women looked reluctant, their eyes cast on you before they began moving back inside the door. One of them hesitated, throwing an extra glance back at Negan.

“Amber!” Negan warned, and she huffed before moving inside, slamming the door behind her.

That’s where all the women were at here. At least the majority of them, you surmised. Your stomach tightened, thinking of all of them dressed the way they were, responding to Negan in that manner.

“I’m not going to stay with them?”

Negan let out a bark of a laugh. “No fucking way. Those bitches are catty.”

“And I’m not?” you were surprised you were able to challenge him, bringing back some wit you normally would have with your home group.

With a chuckle, Negan replied, “I’ve yet to see it. No. Until then, you’ll have a room by mine. I’ll keep an eye on you.”

He reached out suddenly, grasping your arm, yanking you back to him. You jerked, stopping mid stride. You gasped slightly at the action before turning your eyes up to meet his. He was staring at you intently. He leaned down and said in a low voice, his voice firm, “Just cause I brought you here, sweetheart, doesn’t mean I fucking trust you. Not yet at least. You try anything and I’m gonna have to make some fucking hard decisions.” His eyes studied you for a few seconds and you swallowed sharply, looking back at him.

“Understand me?”

“Y-yes, sir.”

Negan’s lip curled into an amused smile. He had a hungry look on his face. “Sir. I like that.” His eyes traveled over your body once more and you felt naked under his gaze. He was undressing you and you could only imagine what he was thinking about as his eyes trailed, hovering over your breasts and hips. “You keep calling me that, I’m gonna get a fucking soft spot for you, sweetheart.”


	3. Chapter 3

The first night was hard to fall asleep. The room was nicely furnished but it wasn’t yours. You knew you were not in Alexandria. Rick wasn’t there. Carl. Michonne. Daryl. You were half expecting some of Negan’s men to burst through the door as soon as you fell asleep and kill you on the spot, knowing that you were here under false pretenses.

But it didn’t happen.

The sun was shining through your window the next morning. Negan had told you to be up early and you hoped it wasn’t too late. The sun wasn’t too high yet thankfully.

You got out of bed, making it quickly. You cut your morning yoga routine, deciding to do a couple of quick stretches instead. You got dressed, folding the dirty clothes up by your bag. You had left the majority of your things in Alexandria. Despite that, you did not feel comfortable spreading your things too far apart around the room. Just in case you had to leave quickly, it would all be there for you to stuff in your backpack. You didn’t want to lose it.

Pulling your toothbrush and toothpaste out of your bag, you made your way to the door.  
There was a man sitting outside your room when you opened the door. You leaned back in surprise as he responded to hearing you open the door. He stood up from the chair and cocked his head looking you over.

“I’d get moving if I was you. Negan likes to eat and get his day started.” You looked down at your toothbrush and he urged, “I’d do that afterward. You’re going to eat anyway.”

Deciding to heed his advice, you moved back into your room, putting them back. You almost left before grabbing your bottle of hot sauce out of your bag, something you would not have left behind in Alexandria. You had an affinity for it before the world went to shit but afterward, you found it made really any food taste decent, even if it was terrible.

The man led you down the hall and down a flight of stairs. You wondered how big this place was. He opened the room to a what looked like a common area. You moved past him into the room and Negan was sitting there in a recliner, watching a movie.

He looked over at you and moved to attention, kicking the footrest down and getting up from the chair. He turned the movie off and turned to face you.

Throwing his hands out, he advanced on you. “Breakfast. The most important meal of the day!”

He was way too bright and cheery for someone who was a complete sociopath.

“Thanks for waiting,” you said in response, doing your damnedest to look submissive.

“Hey, I may be a mean mutherfucker but I got manners,” Negan chuckled.

Your eyes ran over his leather jacket. He was missing his red scarf today, the jacket open to show a plain blue tee shirt underneath. Lucille was swinging at his side.

“Do you carry that around everywhere?” you asked him.

Negan’s eyes fell to the bat and he flicked his gaze back up to meet yours. “That? Now, don’t hurt my lady’s feelings. You know she’s got a name.” He stepped closer to you and asked, “You gonna rephrase that?”

He truly was intimidating. You swallowed and then said, “Do you carry Lucille around everywhere?”

Peering down his nose at you, Negan smiled again. “Course I do. I treat my ladies well, remember?” His eyes fell to the bottle in your hand and he chuckled. He raised Lucille, pointing her at it. “You carry _that_ around everywhere?”

“Only when I know I’m going to eat.”

“Spicy little thing,” Negan practically cooed. You couldn’t help but to feel a flutter at his voice. You internally scolded yourself. He was an enemy, someone who had killed two people of your family. Giving you wink he gestured at the door, “Lead the way.”

“I don’t know where I’m going.”

“I’ll direct you, sweetheart.”

You had a feeling he just wanted to watch you walk away. But to be honest, you had said you would do whatever it took to get information for the group. You turned, throwing the man at the door a look, before walking through the doorway. You noted it took a few seconds before you heard Negan’s feet moving. Your feeling had been probably right.

<> <> <>

The pair of you were sitting across the table from each other in somewhat of a mess hall. People had kneeled to him again when he entered behind you. And they were all sneaking glances at the pair of you sitting there with a couple of his men at the other end of the table.  
One of Negan’s men, Mark, had brought you two plates. There were potatoes, eggs, fresh bread, and ham. You were eating slowly, trying to make it seem like you filled yourself up before you got to the ham.

“That kid of Rick’s is a piece of work,” Negan commented after a few moments of silence, cutting his ham up. You stopped chewing and looked up at him.

“What’s his name?”

You finally said, your reluctance obvious, “Carl.”

He looked at you quizzically before a smile formed on his face. “Ah, don’t tweak out. I’m not planning on kicking his shit in or anything. He’s a kid. And all he’s had is that sorry piece of shit to lead him around. Parents are gods in their kid’s eyes.” He paused for a moment and leaned in across the table. “And I brought that false idol down in a tumbling, fucking heap right in front of his eyes.”

 _He’s seen just as bad_ , you wanted to argue but refrained.

Negan looked contemplative before quipping, “Or I should say _eye_.”

You couldn’t help the annoyed expression that went across your face. He noticed. “My bad. Bad taste.”

Negan tapped his fingers on the table as you continued eating.

“So, about you being here.” You straightened up a little, squaring yourself to look at him in the eyes. “You’re going to need to earn your keep here.”

“I figured.”

“Smart girl,” Negan chuckled. He leaned back a little bit and said, “So… you can do this a couple of ways. But, I think the route you’re going to want to go – for now at least – is earning points. Do dirty work. And I mean dirty work. But, for you, I might find some easier work for you.”

“And the other way?”

Negan bit his bottom lip, smiling. “Curious little thing aren’t you?” His eyes ran over you before he continued, “I think I’ll give you a few more days to try the place out a little bit before I tell you the other option.”

You felt deep down what you knew the other option was. You just wanted him to come out and say it and be done with it.

“Okay. I’ll trust you on that,” you replied, picking up your fork, moving to finish off your potatoes.

“And compliant. Damn. Aren’t you the whole package.”

“You gonna give me any more compliments today or have you met your quota?” you quipped.

Negan laughed at this openly. “I’m sure I can squeeze a few more out, sweetheart. Just give me some fucking time.”

Everything was gone on your plate except your ham. You pushed the plate away and looked away, moving your gaze around the room, trying to focus on something else. Negan was quite for a few seconds and you risked sneaking a gaze at him.

He was looking at you, chewing slowly. He shot a look at your plate, “You gonna finish?”

Shrugging, you responded, “I’m full.”

“You got an awful small stomach then.” He pointed his fork at the ham and asked, “When’s the last time you had some good fucking meat?” He suddenly smirked. “Oh… right. Sorry. Sore spot.” You ignored this jab. He was really not going to relent about you and Rick. He examined you closely before asking, “You really don’t want it? Meats hard to come by nowadays.”

Sucking your teeth a little bit, you contemplated about how to answer. “I know. I appreciate it. I… I just don’t eat ham.”

He looked highly amused by this. “Even when the whole damn planet has been overrun by rotten mutherfuckers who want to eat your ass and production has come to goddamn standstill, you are still going to stand by some bullshit vegetarian pact to not harm the poor animals of the Earth?”

This was a moment to capitalize.

“I like other kinds of meat.”

Your every move was calculated.

Negan’s expression turned from amusement to a salacious realization in a moment at your quip. Again, his eyes were running over you… slowly… before he met your eyes again. You didn’t flinch under his gaze, meeting it.

“Mark,” he called, his eyes still not leaving yours. “You want this ham Y/N can’t eat?”

“You sure you don’t want it, boss?”

“Nah, I’ve had my fill of meat.” He paused before smirking at you. “I’m just gonna have to figure out how to get Y/N to get hers somehow.”


	4. Chapter 4

You had been there almost a week at this point. Taking the route of earning points, Negan had set you in laundry. You held back a scowl when he had told you he thought you would fit in naturally there.

Every day had been like a game of cat and mouse between you and Negan. He seemed extremely intrigued by you and you were relieved. You thought he might turn on you at any second, because he seemed capable of doing that even to people who had been loyal to him forever, but you also knew if you played your cards right, you could come out on top here. He wanted you and you were going to capitalize on it.

Over the last week, you had been observing how the Sanctuary worked. Roles people had, the point system, who Negan’s inner circle was. And furthermore, the perimeter. As much as you could see because you were barred from going to a lot of the perimeter. More than likely because Negan did not trust you fully yet.

One place you had been curious about was the room with the women. You had seen Negan leave there a couple of times, his face flushed, looking satisfied. You surmised you knew what went on in there. The women would come out for food at times, but you had not approached any of them. Although, two had approached you a day ago. Sherry and Amber.

“What’s he got you in a special room for?” was what Amber had greeted you with.

Sherry had shot her an annoyed look, but you just shrugged, “Keeping an eye on me, I suppose.”

“What for?”

“Amber!” Sherry finally scolded.

You just smirked as Amber glared at Sherry for scolding her like a child. “Probably because I was fucking the leader of the camp he just took over.”

Amber actually looked genuinely surprised. “He took you away?” Shifting uncomfortably, you shook your head slightly. Amber narrowed her eyes, “Then what?”

“I asked to come.”

Sherry’s eyes had widened slightly, and she inquired, “Why?”

“Negan seems safer.” It hurt to lie. Negan was far from safer than with Rick and the rest of your group.

“That’s what everyone thinks…” Sherry said before trailing off. Amber shot her a surprised look and Sherry noticed it before clearing her throat. “You’re not the only one who gave up your husband for Negan.”

“He wasn’t my husband.”

“Boyfriend. Lover. Whatever.” She looked contemplative for a moment before pointing out, “You’re doing the laundry though.”

You nodded, “Yeah. Earning points.” Her and Amber had exchanged a look. “What?” you asked, forcing a small laugh.

Sherry seemed to want to venture carefully. “So… nothing else?”

Cocking your head to the side slightly, you inquired, “So, what I’m getting from that question… I’m guessing what my other option was – that he wouldn’t tell me – was sleeping with him.”

Their expressions said enough.

“Right,” you affirmed. “So, that’s fantastic.”

“So, he told you about it?” Amber questioned.

“Kind of. Like I said.”

Amber cleared her throat and said, “Well, don’t surprised when he brings it up again. He wouldn’t bring it up or hint at it if he wasn’t wanting it.”

“He’s persistent…” Sherry muttered.

You studied the two of them for a few moments before saying, “Well, at least I won’t be caught off guard. Thanks.” Even if they hadn’t told you this, you were expecting it from him. But better to let them think they had done you a favor and more importantly, you weren’t that bright. You needed some friends and also needed to continue seeming harmless.

“Right. Sherry by the way,” Sherry responded. She gestured quickly, “And Amber.”

“Y/N.”

<> <> <>

Later in the day, you were walking at the perimeter where you were allowed. It was loud there considering there were so many walkers tied up around the fence. This was one thing about the Sanctuary’s boundaries that you were happy you knew about. They used the undead to put up a wall of teeth. At that moment, two of Negan’s men were moving in amongst them trying to tie up a new walker.

“Hey, what are you doing?” a voice sounded from away away from you.

You turned towards the fence and saw Dwight standing on a cement deck.

“Walking?”

He moved down the stairs towards you. His eyes moved over you. You did the same, seeing again his burnt face. You knew he had had a run in with Daryl and it made you angry to be in his presence after what he’d done, stealing Daryl’s bike and crossbow.

The walkers beyond the fence got louder, some of them noticing the pair of you close by.

“Is that not allowed?” you questioned, continuing.

Dwight gave you a tight smile and replied, “Of course it’s allowed. I’m just wondering what you’re doing outside near the gate.”

“You think I’m gonna scale the fence and go become a walker’s lunch?”

He regarded you for a moment. “No. I think you’re smarter than that.”

“You think so?”

“If you were with Rick’s group, yeah, I do.”

“You complimenting him now?”

“No. Just stating I know he didn’t surround himself with idiots.”

Your conversation was cut off by a yell from beyond the fence. “HELP ME!” One of the men screamed.

Dwight and you turned immediately, seeing that one of the men must have had a misstep and fallen and now a walker on a pole had a hold of his foot. He was simultaneously trying to dodge another one close by who was reaching for him. The other man out there with him was unable to get to him.

“Shit!” Dwight cussed rushing over to the fence.

You began frantically searching around for something. There was a metal pole, much thinner than the other ones they used to keep the walkers in place in a pile close by. You rushed over and snatched it up quickly.

Dwight was trying to take aim with his gun at the walker trying to take a bite out of the man’s leg without hitting the guy.

“HELP!” The guy kept screaming, catching the attention of all the other ones. Although they were all pitched to the spot, all of their attention was on him now and regardless of how close he was, they were reaching for him.

“Move!” you shouted at Dwight. He seemed taken off guard, pausing his concentration to look at you. You pushed past him and shoved the pole through the fence, straight through the walker’s head. It’s head and hands fell limp, releasing the guy from its grip.

Immediately he backed up against the fence.

“Take that pole out of its head if you need to!” you told him trying to keep the edge out of your voice. He shouldn’t be stalling this much.

He shot you a look, processing what you said, before taking the pole out of the now dead walker’s head. He used it to kill the one closest and made it easy for him to get out.

You breathed a sigh of relief and noticed Dwight looking at you curiously before you heard Negan behind you two, “What the fucking fuck is going on? Who the fuck is squealing like a goddamn sow?” He was standing there with Joey.

“Marcus tripped and got himself tangled up in the walkers! Almost got himself killed,” Dwight explained, sounding annoyed.

Negan’s eyes slid over to where Marcus was still trying to catch his breath, away from the walkers. “And the dumbass managed to get out?”

Dwight looked at you reluctantly and Negan followed his gaze. “With her help,” Dwight said after a few moments, realizing you were not going to say anything. “Got the fucker with a metal pole through the head.”

Negan was quiet, staring at you. You were becoming uncomfortable under his gaze. Something in his eyes was always setting you on edge. You turned your eyes down. “Hmm,” he finally spoke. “Well, seems Marcus owes you.” Still you said nothing. “Hopefully the next time he is a moron, there’s someone around to save his ass.”

His attention turned to them past the gate, him leaving you and Dwight. “Get that shit cleared up!” he called out to them.

You took this opportunity to leave while he was distracted.

<> <> <>

There was a knock on your door and you looked up from your book. You were laying on your bed reading.

“Come in,” you beckoned.

Your door swung open and Negan strolled in, Lucille with him as always. You seriously hated that thing. But, you had missed him at dinner considering he had never shown up. He closed the door behind him.

Negan moved into the room, swinging Lucille down by the armchair and plopping down. He crossed his leg, one foot resting on the opposite knee. There was silence shared between the two of you for a few moments.

He finally spoke. “Why’d you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Save Marcus.”

Oh, that’s what he was talking about. For a second, you had worried you’d done something wrong.

“He was going to die.”

Negan cocked his head to the side, “So what’s that to you?”

“He’s a human being.”

A small laugh left Negan’s mouth at this remark. He tapped his fingers on the arms of the chair before commenting, “I can’t trust that.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Trust what?”

“That sentiment. I mean, why care? He’s obviously an idiot who can’t fucking even manage to tie a brain-dead fucker down to the ground? Doesn’t seem like that’s someone you want at your back. At least, I sure as shit don’t.”

You mulled over what he said before asking, “So, you’re telling me you don’t trust me because I don’t want to kill people?”

Negan grinned, “Precisely. Too much compassion.” You said nothing to this. He really was hard-hearted. “You afraid of me, honey?”

“Honestly?” you questioned.

“Yeah.”

“A bit. You’re ruthless. Which is what I think you want to project. So, congratulations.”

Negan simpered at this. “And yet you fucking came with me.”

“I didn’t feel that safe anymore,” you shrugged.

Negan shook his head slightly, wagging his finger at you. “You didn’t say that explicitly. What you explicitly said was that you wanted to come here because Rick wasn’t bedding you anymore.”

It was coming. You could feel it.

“Yeah.”

“And I said you would never feel unwanted here.”

“I don’t have dementia,” you quipped.

For a couple seconds you thought you might have angered him because he just stared at you. But a smile spread across his face and he chuckled. “No, course not. You’re too fucking young for that.”

Another silence.

Negan cocked his head to the side and questioned, “So, how are you liking laundry?”

You shrugged. “It’s laundry.”

“You satisfied?”

“You offering me something else?”

A devilish grin. “You want me to offer you something else?”

Pondering, you paused. He was watching you intently. “Would it involve… us?”

Negan licked his lips, looking pleased at this assertion. “Well, there are a couple things I know. I _can’t_ trust you to be one of my top people if I can’t trust you to not withhold from killing people I ask you to. I _can_ trust you to do laundry. It’s kind of hard to fuck up. But… you seem… apathetic about your laundry situation.” He leaned forward in the chair, placing both feet on the floor. “What I _don’t_ know is if I can trust you enough to let me in that pussy.”

Cocking an eyebrow, you asked, “You think I’m going to Aileen Wuornos you?”

Guffawing, Negan leaned back in the chair. “I’m fucking surprised you even know who that bitch is to be honest, doll.” He went quiet, his eyes running over your face and no doubt moving south to where your cleavage was showing, as he did so often. His gaze was hungry. “No, I don’t _think_ you’ll do that shit to me.”

“What if I promise?”

He looked tickled at this. “I suppose I’d have to take your word for it.”

“Well. Then I promise.”

Negan looked aroused having gotten permission. He stood up from the armchair and sauntered over to you. “You sure you wanna do this, doll?”

Yes, you did. Partially because despite how much of a dick he was, he was alluring. And partially because you needed to get on his good side. What quicker way than taking him to your bed? You were going to win this game.

Pushing yourself up, you knocked your book onto the floor in the process as you moved off the bed. You stood in front of him, keeping eye contact with him. The look on his face was lascivious.

Reaching up, you put your hands up onto his chest, pressing them up into his unzipped jacket. You began removing it from his body slowly, parting your lips slightly as his strong arms came into view.

Negan’s hand wrapped up into your hair as he held you in place, leaning down, his lips meeting yours roughly. You fell into the kiss, letting him take charge. Surprisingly, his lips were soft, contrasting with the scratch of his beard. But, it was a welcome feeling.

You felt him pulling up on your dress and he pulled away slightly. Your dress came up over your head and just as quickly he was working on your bra, pulling it off of you.

He took in your breasts, his eyes flashing at the sight. He sucked his bottom lip in slightly before humming, “Look at those whopping pair of fun bags.”

“Really?” you couldn’t stop yourself from asking incredulously.

“What can I say? I have a way with words. A real goddamn gentleman,” Negan chuckled, his hands moving in on your waist moving down to the line of your underwear. He pulled on them, raising his eyebrows. You followed his lead pushing them down and kicking them off. You were standing fully naked in front of him.

His hands ran down your bare hips, moving back towards the round of your ass. Cupping your ass, he yanked you to his body, your bare skin against his still clothed body. He ground his pelvis into you, his hands caressing your backside. You could feel him through his jeans.

“Sweetheart, you’re built like a fucking porn star.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you replied, your tone sensual as you moved your hands up under his shirt, running your hands up his bare chest underneath it.

Negan smiled, “You fucking should.”

He pulled his shirt over his head before working on his belt.

“You wanna get your sweet ass on the bed?”

You did as he asked as he removed his jeans. On a hunch, you decided to turn away from him, sitting on your legs. The mattress shifted as his weight was added and you felt his hands on you. Running his hands down your arms, he laid kisses on your shoulder, leading up towards your neck.

He was giving you a slight nudge, pushing you forward. Your hunch had been right. He seemed the type to want to take you from behind.

Leaning forward, you pushed your ass into the air, exposing yourself to him.

Negan’s voice was rumbling low in his chest, “Mhm, that’s something I absolutely fucking love to see.” You felt his thumb at your slit and you exhaled sharply. He chuckled hearing you, running his thumb around you slowly. He pressed in slightly and your fingers wrapped up in your blanket. He was rubbing and playing with you delicately and it was driving you insane.

“Got you all fucking nice and wet for my cock. You look goddamn sexy.”

He removed his thumb and you whimpered in protest. He chuckled, “Eager little thing. I fucking love that.” His hands ran over your ass slowly. A pleased noise left his mouth. Becoming impatient, you rutted your hips back a little bit, lifting your head a bit to look back at him. and Negan noticed, smirking broadly.

He moved closer to you, his hands back on your hips. “You want my fucking dick, honey?”

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, please,” you breathed out, moving your hips back again, begging.

“Yes, please, what?”

What was he going on about?

It clicked. You wanted him to develop that soft spot that he had promised.

“Mhm. Yes, please, _sir_.”

Negan slid into you with ease. Unlike other men you had been with, he didn’t start out slow. He set a fast pace immediately. The room filled with the sound of skin against skin, his fingers digging into your hips as he moved in and out of you at a brutal pace.

You pushed back, and he grunted adjusting himself, his arm wrapped tightly around your middle, holding you close to his chest, slowing his pace a bit.

Feeling the scratch of his beard on your neck as he nuzzled his face in by your ear, you moved your head aside. His lips found your neck and he sucked in, leaving rough kisses as he continued pumping in and out of you.

“You fucking belong to me, sweetheart?” his lips brushed your ear.

“Yes, sir,” you keened.

“Damn fucking right,” he growled.

You returned to your original position, letting him take over roughly again.

Losing yourself in the pleasure, you soon felt yourself beginning to let go. You tightened around him, crying out.

Negan grunted, increasing his pace before he husked out, “Fucking shit!” He finished, coming in you in hot spurts.

Panting, Negan pulled away from you before collapsing on the bed next to you. You were both trying to catch your breath. You flipped over onto your back stretching out.

After a couple of minutes, Negan adjusted himself and asked, “You wanna let me under the covers?”

Raising your eyebrows, you looked over at him, “You’re going to sleep here?”

Negan laughed, “You sound disappointed.”

Back tracking quickly, you shook your head, “No. I’m just… surprised.”

“I’m too fucking exhausted to walk back to my damn room. You fucking wore me out, sweetheart.”

You snorted a little bit before moving and allowing him to get himself under the covers. You followed suit.

Negan put his hands behind his head and informed you, “That’s not the last time that’s gonna happen.

“Alright.”

He seemed amused. “Compliant. Like I said. You’re a peach, doll.”

<> <> <>

“Take that guy,” Negan said pointing at Daryl. “I remember his little outbursts from our little shitstorm in the woods.”

“What?” Rosita choked out as Negan’s men descended on Daryl.

Daryl put up a little bit of a fight, but they overpowered him quickly. Negan turned his attention to Rosita. “Sorry, sugar. Is that someone else I’m taking from you?” Rosita shut her mouth and Negan took that as a yes. “Sorry, sweetheart.”

His men drug Daryl off towards their trucks, Negan following.

“Oh, by the way, before I go,” Negan intoned, swinging back around, Lucille over his shoulder. He smirked, looking directly at Rick. “Y/N has got a nice pair of tits.”

Rick’s expression darkened immediately.

“What did you do to her?”

Negan shrugged, smiling sheepishly. He was getting the reaction he wanted. “Nothing, Ricky boy. Well, I did do a lot of fucking things to her. But nothing that wasn’t wanted. Jesus Christ, Rick. I’m not a fucking rapist. Give me some credit.” He stepped closer to Rick again, “But I did _not_ _fucking_ use protection.”

Michonne clenched her jaw as well as her fists which went ignored by Negan. All his attention was on Rick.

Leaning in, he had a shit eating grin on his face. “Can you imagine, man? Seeing your girl’s belly swelling up with my baby? I bet that would just _suck_.” Snapping back up, Negan laughed seeing Rick look stricken. If he only knew Rick was feeling awful that Y/N was in that situation, rather than the reason Negan believed him to be shook. “Maybe you should have been better, dickwad.”

<> <> <>

The next morning when you woke up, Negan was gone. You had expected as much. He was going back to Alexandria today. You wanted to go with them, but you hadn’t had the courage to ask. And you believed it smarter to not for a while. If you wanted to go back immediately, it would look suspicious.

They returned later in the afternoon. They were bringing in supplies and you still felt angered knowing that the people back home were having to give up half of the little they had.

You took notice of two of Negan’s men were dragging a man back up the stairs who was still fighting. He turned his head and you caught sight of his face.

Gasping, you realized it was Daryl.

He didn’t see you, but you took a few steps towards him instinctively before forcing yourself to stop. You dropped your arms, staring after him.

You felt eyes on you and you turned your head finding Negan observing you. He rose his eyebrows at you, sucking on his teeth. You were happy that you had stopped yourself from following them, but you knew he had seen you consider it.

Exhaling heavily, you looked away from him and turned the opposite direction, wanting to get away from his scrutinizing eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Negan’s fingers dug into your thigh as he moved in and out of you. His chest was pressed up against your back, the two of you on your sides in your bed. You were both breathing shallow, your breasts moving with his every thrust.

He was husking into your ear, “Fuck, baby. Your tits look so fucking great. Feel so good wrapped – “

There was a loud knock on the door.

“Around – Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?” Negan’s voice went from aroused to annoyed in a span of a second. He stilled inside you, ceasing moving.

“WHAT?” he bellowed over his shoulder at the door.

It was Joey and he sounded uneasy. “It’s an emergency, Negan!”

Negan had a murderous look on his face. “Do ya fucking need me?”

“Yeah.” Joey sounded scared to say it. “It’s Daryl.”

That caught your attention. You looked up at Negan and he shot you a look, noticing your attention. “Goddamnit,” Negan snarled, pulling himself out of you. He muttered to himself as he got off the bed and began gathering his clothes, “Thinking I can walk around with a goddamn hard on. Fucking useless. All of them!” He pulled up his pants, working on the buckle.

Negan turned back to you and saw you sitting up in bed, exposed to him from the waist up.

“What’s wrong with Daryl?” you couldn’t help but to ask.

You couldn’t ignore the flash of anger that passed across Negan’s face. “Mind your own damn business, doll.”

“But –”

“What did I just say?”

You closed your mouth.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.”

Of course you were going to worry about it.

<> <> <>

“Why the fuck are you still doing laundry for?”

Negan was behind you. He had obviously been looking for you or he wouldn’t have come into this room. He must have finished whatever business he had with Daryl from this morning. Everyone had stopped, in respect to him as soon as they noticed his presence.  
You let the laundry fall into the bin and looked up at him. The people around you were watching intently. They had stopped what they were doing initially in respect for him. But now they were just keeping still to see what was going to transpire.

“It needs to get done.”

“You have another job.”

Knowing better than to argue with him there you got up, pushing yourself up from your knees. You turned and left the room.

You knew you pissed him off by not addressing him before you left because you heard his heavy footfalls behind you, following you.

He caught up to you quickly. His hand clamped on your arm before whipping you around.

“Ow,” you cried out as he did it. More so to get a rise out of him. It didn’t hurt.

Negan had yanked you to him but loosened his grip hearing you cry out. His voice was still threatening, “What are you _really_ doing laundry for?”

“What else is there to do in between you burying yourself in me?” you asked. “I’m bored.”  
Negan said nothing.

“I want something to do. And it needs to get done. Why deny me that? Why deny them that? It takes some burden off their hands and they won’t be as bitter about having to do it?” You paused. “I’m still waiting for you in bed whenever you feel like coming in at night or early morning. Is it bothering you and your schedule with me? Because if it is, tell me. And I’ll stop.”

Grinding his teeth, Negan studied you. “I am just making sure you aren’t changing your mind about option three that you ultimately chose.”

“I’m not. But I thought I had a choice regardless.”

“You do.”

“Well, like I said. I’m not. I just want something to do during the day.”

The two of you were interrupted by Joseph, one of the younger men in Negan’s scouting crew. He rushed up before noticing Negan was there and he hesitated immediately, the happy look falling from his face. He had a bag in his hands.

Swallowing sharply under Negan’s gaze, he looked towards you and said, “Sorry, heard your voice. I uh… I got some things.” He halfheartedly moved the bag in his hands.

Negan had his attention again when he demanded impatiently, “For?”

“Y/N.” Staring him down, Negan clenched his jaw. Joseph immediately added, “It’s just books. She said she liked them.”

Shooting you an annoyed look, Negan demanded, “You asked _him_ to get _you_ things?”

Shaking your head quickly and then retracting and shrugging, you stammered, “I mentioned if they found any books, I would like them.”

Negan snatched the bag from Joseph and pulled it open, peering inside. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip before exhaling.

“You need or want something, ask me. Don’t go telling my guys around me. You go through me. You got it?” You nodded. Negan shot Joseph a look and snapped, “And you should know better!” He held the bag out to you and you took it gingerly. “Wasting your damn time getting books,” he said to Joseph sounding annoyed.

“Thank you,” you muttered to Joseph before turning around and walking off.

<> <> <>

Negan hadn’t come last night. Getting a good night’s rest was a blessing. Yet, standing in the bathroom early in the morning, you heard the door open behind you. Negan strolled in, smirking. “Thought I’d find you in here.” He wasn’t wearing his jacket which surprised you. He must have come straight from his room just to use the bathroom.

His eyes moved up and down your body. “We gotta get you some nicer night clothes.”

“I like boxers.”

“I like you naked.”

“So why don’t I just skip the night clothes and sleep naked?”

Negan snorted, “That takes the fun out of it. I was just commenting.”

“Do you need me to step out?” you questioned, shooting a quick look at the toilet before moving your eyes back to him.

“Nope,” Negan chirped. “I got ya where I want ya.” He closed the space between the two of you. His hands snaked out, grabbing you. “Just to continue from yesterday morning. I was busy last night, doll, and I apologize.” His lips were on you in a second and his hands worked quickly at your clothes. You shivered slightly against the chill on your bare skin and he pulled you close, wrapping you up in his arms.

Negan chuckled, moving up against you, gaining friction. “Sheeee-it! I cannot stand being around you when you’re naked! Do you feel that shit?” You definitely could.

Stepping back a bit, he unzipped his pants. His cock sprang loose from his pants “I think I want you on your knees.”

You looked around the bathroom, your eyes landing on the door that wasn’t locked. Negan closed in again, his hand running up and down his dick slowly. “You gonna make me ask again, doll?”

“What if I did?”

“Then I’d have to yank myself off and I would be let down. Satisfied, sure. But disappointed.”

You sunk to your knees in front of him.

Negan ran his cock over your lips slowly, savoring the feeling. He slid into your mouth a low exhale of arousal leaving his throat. You gradually increased your speed, letting him wind his hand into your hair, grabbing a fistful. He was letting you lead, seeming pleased with your technique.

Your hand moved rapidly up and down his shaft, your tongue running over his balls, drawing low moans from him. You were becoming aroused yourself, feeling yourself grow wet. Flattening your tongue, you ran it up his shaft before wrapping your lips around his head again.

“ _Jesus_.”

Negan pulled you away with an audible pop. “Few things I would like to do more right now than cum down your throat and watch you swallow the fuck out of it.” He let go of your hair and leaned down, grabbing you to pull you up to your feet again. “But I want that tight as shit pussy.”

Slamming you up onto the counter, he spread your legs, pushing himself in between. “Looking so goddamn good spread for me.” His eyes trailed down between your legs, his eyes hooded with lust resting on your sex. He smirked, pushing himself closer, his cock brushing up against your sex, pressing in ever so slightly. “I’m gonna take you.”

“What are you waiting for?” you got out and his eyes moved to yours, flashing.

“Oh, I like a challenge, sweetheart.”

His cock slid in with a loud grunt leaving his lips. You gasped slightly, bracing yourself against the wall. A chuckle. “Mhm, trapped. Guess you’re going to have to be subverted to me even more so than usual. Such a goddamn pity for you.” With this, he thrusted in, hitting your core.

“Ah, Negan!”

“Shit, my name sounds so goddamn good coming out of your fucking mouth. Say it again, sweetheart.”

“Harder, Negan. Please!”

He gave a broken-up laugh, his fingers digging into your hips as he pounded. He dipped down, biting into your shoulder. You keened, pushing your hips towards him as he fucked you. You relished feeling full of him, his cock ramming in and out of you. You pushed aside your guilty feelings, focusing only on the physical. Reaching down between the two of you, you began circling your clit with fervor. It didn’t seem to bother him, you stimulating yourself. Negan continued to ravage you, leaving bite marks along your shoulder and at the base of your neck.

You knew he was getting close because his thrusts were becoming erratic. It came quickly after that. Negan emptied himself inside you with a guttural noise before stilling. You came shortly after, your legs shaking, hanging around his hips loosely now.

“Well, I got my exercise for the day,” Negan chortled more to himself than anything. He placed a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thanks, doll.”

<> <> <>

A couple days later, over two weeks of being there, you weren’t there the next time he was in the mood.

You snuck down the stairs to where you knew they were keeping Daryl. To your relief, they didn’t keep a guard at all times, especially at night. You had gathered your comforter in your arms along with a book before coming down here.

Approaching the door, you clutched your things closer to you. You felt a tightness in your chest. You hadn’t seen him in days and that had been brief, a few seconds at most, and him not even laying eyes on you. Going from seeing each other multiple times a day to nothing for that period of time was devastating for you.

“Daryl?” you ventured quietly.

There was an almost immediate response. “Y/N?”

It killed you as well as made you feel elated to hear his voice. “Yeah,” you breathed out.

“You alright?”

Of course he was thinking of other people instead of himself. You felt some tears welling up, knowing what he was going through wasn’t easy.

“As well as I can be. Honey –” you paused, realizing what you had just called him. You tried to ignore it, pressing on, trying to make it seem like you didn’t think twice about it. “Why are you here? What is going on?”

There was a moment of silence before Daryl told you, “He wanted me to come. Said he didn’t forget what I had done in the woods.”

If only Negan knew he had brought your actual lover to the compound. Well, not lover. Potential lover.

“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing you could think of to say to him.

“Nah, it’s alright.” He was lying, you could tell. He couldn’t be happy in that cell or here in general. “I’m just happy to know you’re alright.”

Tears did form then, but you pushed them back, not wanting to cry in front of him. Not right now.

“I wish none of this had happened.” You could give him that. You know he felt the same.

“We all made a choice. Now we gotta lay in that bed.”

“I wish I was back in my own bed. I miss everyone.”

It was the first time you had admitted that you wanted to be home out loud since you had been here. And at the moment, you didn’t really care if anyone else had heard. You just wanted Daryl to know that you missed Alexandria. Your family. That you missed him.

“You’re preaching to the choir.”

This drew a small laugh out of you.

Then Daryl asked firmly, “He hurt you?”

Swallowing sharply, you shook your head before saying, “No.”

Daryl’s voice was small. “Good.”

And then there was a silence between the two of you.

Clearing your throat, you stated, “I brought a book.”

“Yeah?”

Daryl had always enjoyed listening to you read to Judith when it was your turn to watch her. He could have been anywhere else but sometimes he chose to come into the house and listen to you talk.

“Yeah. It’s one of my favorites. I haven’t read it to Judith though, so surprise for you.”

You were relieved to hear him laugh a little bit. He rarely laughed and seemed to do it the most in your presence as of late. You loved hearing him do it.

“I brought a blanket,” you started to say and then scolded yourself inwardly. “Sorry… I know that you don’t…” You trailed off feeling foolish.

“Just cause you’ve got some comforts I don’t doesn’t mean I’m gonna hate you.”

You nodded to yourself and said, “Well, I can post up here for a while. I’ll read to you until you fall asleep?”

“I haven’t slept in a while. So, challenge accepted.”

Smiling to yourself, you leaned down, getting yourself down onto the ground and spreading the blanket around you. Curling up, your back against the door, you opened the book.

“The Salinas Valley is in Northern California. It is a long narrow swale between two ranges of mountains, and the Salinas River winds and twists up the center until it falls at last into Monterey Bay. I remember my childhood names for grasses and secret flowers. I remember where a toad may live and what time the birds awaken in the summer – and what trees and seasons smelled like – how people looked and walked and smelled even. The memory of odors is very rich. I remember the Gabilan Mountains to the east of the valley were light gay mountains full of sun and loveliness and a kind of invitation, so that you wanted to climb into their warm foothills…”

<> <> <>

Negan pushed Y/N’s door open and walked into the room. And he stopped suddenly, realizing she wasn’t there. His eyes scanned the room quickly. Her bed was stripped of the comforter, but all of her things were still in the room. Her clothes and belongings neatly stacked.

Grinding his teeth, Negan thought the worst, moving back out of her room quickly. Lucille swung over his shoulder he made his way down the hallway to where he suspected the most likely place she was at. Or at least, had been.

Rounding the corner, he saw her, covered by a blanket in front of Daryl’s cell. Anger welled up inside his chest, his jealously overwhelming him, advancing on her quickly.

<> <> <>

You awoke at the sound of heavy footsteps. Before you could blink the sleep away from your eyes, you felt a foot pushing against your back jerkily.

“Get your ass up. _Now_!”

Negan.

Your eyes flashed opening. No longer needing to blink and you pushed yourself up, sitting up to look at him. The blanket fell down to your legs. You stared up at him. He looked furious.

“Did you not hear me?”

You scrambled to your feet, gathering up your comforter in your arms. You knew Daryl was awake. He couldn’t sleep through that. He was a light sleeper to begin with. You could only imagine what it was like for him being on edge. But he had fallen asleep to your voice, you had heard him snoring. So that had been nice for you to know, you just wish you had not fallen asleep yourself.

Realizing you had left the book on the floor, you swooped down quickly, picking it up before facing Negan again.

“What the fucking _fuck_ are you doing?” Negan demanded.

You swallowed sharply and clutched the book tighter to your chest. “Reading,” you responded in a small voice.

“What the fucking shit made you think you were allowed down here?”

Forcing a shrug, you said, “You didn’t tell me not to.”

Negan’s eyes moved to the book in your arms. He suddenly reached out, grasping onto it tightly. The first yank caught you by surprise, so you held tight. Seeing his eyes widen and the malicious look in his eyes, you let go immediately. The second yank tore it from your arms.

“’East of Eden’?”

You shifted uncomfortably. “He’s lonely.”

“Again, with that goddamn bullshit about me not being able to trust you with people!”

“I didn’t pick the lock on his door and set him free or anything!”

Negan cocked his head to the side, peering at you. “You telling me that was a possibility?”

You debated on answering him truthfully. You decided to be honest, trying to play it off as if you had been loyal to him. “Yes. I’m a good lock pick.” Negan’s expression darkened at this reveal. “I just wanted to give him company,” you continued quietly, putting a pitiful look on your face.

He clenched his jaw, staring down at you. “I should fucking burn this shit. Along with that other load Joseph got you.”

“Please! No!” you begged.

Negan stared you down before clicking his tongue. “I want you to understand something, sweetheart. Just because I like ya doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want. And one of the fucking big no nos around here for you is talking to him. He’s not your friend. You’re not his friend. You don’t know each other. And if I see you acting different, I’m gonna have to do something about it that you’re not going to like. You got me?”

“Yes,” you breathed out.

He relented, holding your book out to you. “Get your ass out of here!”

You took the book from him and left as quickly as you could.

“Hope you enjoyed that asshole. It’s not going to happen again,” Negan said through the door to Daryl. He paused before thinking for a moment. An edge… he could have it. “Unless, you wanna rethink our last conversation. Then you could see your friend again. She has such a sweet little voice doesn’t she?” He smirked to himself, “I’ve had the pleasure of hearing it beg. Not that you’re going to ever get that. But, I can imagine what your dickwad friend Rick heard. And yet he still ignored it. Fucking pity, man.”

Daryl said nothing.

“You get out of here, you could hear her pretty voice again. Either in the dining hall. Or screaming my name later in the night. Whatever happens. Choice is yours, my friend.”

Turning, Negan chortled to himself as he walked off leaving Daryl alone again.


	6. Chapter 6

A small cat had found its way into the Sanctuary and you had managed to lure it to you with small pieces of meat from your breakfast. You were disappointed because it had been bacon, but you also wanted this cat. You had decided to take the day off laundry for this after seeing the cat.

Sitting on the one of the steps on the outside of the building, you cuddled the cat, scratching it behind the ears. It had taken a liking to you immediately, whether it be the bacon or you yourself. It didn’t run away even when you put it down. It kept coming back, rubbing itself up against you.

You heard a car behind you and turned your head seeing one of the trucks pull in behind the bikes.

Negan got out of the truck, followed by a group of his men who were carrying different bags. They must have gone to one of their places – their “workers” places. You were sick seeing they had come back with furniture you recognized from Alexandria a couple of days prior. You knew better than to make a conversation out of it though.

Negan’s eyes landed on you sitting on the stairs alone. He approached you.

“The hell are you doing?” Negan asked before his eyes landed on the cat, who had been behind you, scared of the sound of the truck’s engine. The cat, now more comfortable with the engine turned off, merely meowed before jumping into your lap.

“Can I keep her?” you asked hopefully, petting the cat behind the ears.

Negan looked annoyed and not to your surprise. He scoffed, “After that shit you pulled?”  
He wasn’t going to let that incident with Daryl go easily. You knew that and yet you were still annoyed. You kept it under wraps though. You looked up at him, a pleading look in your eyes, “But…”

“But what?”

“It’s defenseless.”

Negan regarded you for a second with an incredulous look on his face. He knelt down in front of you, making direct eye contact. “Sweetheart, do you remember why I told you that you couldn’t take option number one when I mentioned it?”

“That was because of humans.”

He wagged his finger at you. “Same bullshit compassion seems to reach to animals.”

You held up the cat to him and he closed his mouth, looking put off. “Do you think this cat is going to kill you?”

The cat merely meowed, more annoyed about behind held under the arms than being in Negan’s face.

Negan was stoic, staring at you past the cat.

“Please?” you tried again, pulling it back to you and cradling it in your arms. ‘I’ll take care of it.” You paused and then added. “Plus, I’m still earning points in laundry so that could go towards cat food?”

Negan stood up, shaking his head. “It doesn’t need goddamn cat food.”

“What if it has a sensitive stomach?”

He gestured grandly out to his sides, shrugging. “Then it doesn’t deserve to live in this world.”

“So, you’re saying I can have it?”

Biting his bottom lip, he glowered down at you. You didn’t relent, staring back at him. Negan pointed at you. “If that thing is in your room when I get in there, I’m gonna be mad.”  
You gave him an incredulous look. “Where else am I going to keep it?”

Negan clenched his jaw, staring down at you. “It stays outside.”

“But the walkers –”

“It’s survived this long. I’m sure it’s smart enough. I don’t want it inside.” He noticed the look on your face and snapped, “Doll, I’m letting you keep the little fucker around. Don’t get greedy.”

“Can I at least make bed for it?”

Negan rolled his eyes skyward and snapped, “What kind of fucking rainbow-colored place did you come from?” You furrowed your brow at him. He scoffed loudly, “Sweetheart, you find your supplies that you don’t take from my men to make the little house for the little shit? Do it. Just don’t take anything.”

“I thought we earned what we take?” Negan stopped, regarding you, looking taken aback. “As if I’m not listening to what you’re saying,” you continued coolly.

“You’re too smart for your own good,” was all Negan responded before turning on his heel and walking off to help the guys continue unloading the truck.

You smiled to yourself, petting the cat again. It meowed burying its face into your neck, purring.

<> <> <>

Daryl had been out with Negan and Dwight to Alexandria, but it had been hard to see him otherwise. They were keeping him close on purpose. Immersing him in the group while simultaneously keeping a watch on him was smart on their part. Terrible for Daryl but smart. He looked so withdrawn whenever you saw him. You wondered what they had done to him.

Countless times you had tried to at least make eye contact with him but he was always staring at the ground. You didn’t even know if he realized you were in the room at times.  
You were sitting with Sherry and Amber in the middle of one of the work rooms. They had been coming out more often and you were thankful for their company. They had learned about you and Negan and were not surprised in the slightest. They seemed to relate to you more and included you. Like calls to like you supposed.

“Your hair looks nice,” Amber told you from across the table. You had fixed it differently today having been bored this morning.

“Thanks. It took up some time this morning,” you responded, coloring on a piece of paper. You were sketching some irises and small birds. It had been a while since you had had coloring materials and you were going slow, enjoying it.

You had not gone into laundry this morning because there was not a lot to do today and you didn’t want to take other people’s tasks. They had to get as bored as you did sometimes.

“They should find us some movies while they’re out,” Sherry mumbled.

Amber nodded in agreement. “And at least share the DVD players more often.”

“Fat chance,” you muttered, picking up another color.

“I’ll ask Negan when he’s in a good mood the next time I see him,” Sherry stated, twirling the pencil around her paper. She was talented, drawing intricate designs.

Snorting and responding quietly, Amber leaned in close, “So you mean right after he’s nutted?”

“If the shoe fits,” Sherry replied, a small smile on her face. The three of you shared a quiet laugh, careful to not let anyone around you hear, especially any of his soldiers. There were a group of them in the room, lazily watching other people work. Although, you couldn’t gripe about that too much considering you were coloring.

Your laugh was cut short as you noticed Dwight come into the room, Daryl on his heels.  
You followed them with your eyes. Sherry and Amber followed your gaze and you knew Sherry had taken notice of Dwight. She swallowed sharply. Dwight looked over, locking eyes with her. The emotion in both of their eyes, even across the room, was powerful. Clearing her throat, she looked away from him, forcing herself to turn her eyes to the table.  
Dwight looked saddened for a moment before he noticed you staring at him and Daryl. His expression hardened and you turned your eyes away as well. He knew that you were not supposed to communicate with Daryl. You hoped he wouldn’t tell Negan.

But, god, all you wanted to do was go up to Daryl and wrap him up in your arms.

Your thoughts were interrupted hearing commotion coming down the hallway.

“Please! Don’t!” someone shouted from outside the room. Everyone in the room had begun to stop what they were doing and were turning their heads to look at the door leading to the hallway where the noise was coming from.

The door flew open, startling some people, and Negan burst in, dragging one of his soldiers behind him. The man was bloody already, Lucille speckled with what you assumed was his blood. They were shortly followed by two more of his men, holding a girl between them. She had a tear stained face and she was trembling.

Throwing the guy on the ground in the middle of the room, Negan pointed Lucille out, swinging her around the room his eyes scanning everyone as he twirled on one of his feet before facing the guy again.

“What are my rules about women here?!” he bellowed out to the room that had immediately gone silent. His eyes were fixed on the guy.

Everyone seemed too scared to speak.

Negan didn’t seem to care. He turned his gaze back to the room.

He held up one finger, “One! My wives are off limits!” He thrusted Lucille in yours, Sherry’s, and Amber’s direction. “All of them! Not just these three!” You looked down at the table, trying to avoid eye contact not only with him but also with everyone else in the room. You knew his anger wasn’t at you but you didn’t want to be a part of this.

And secondly, you were embarrassed Daryl had to hear him claim you. He probably already knew but now it was confirmed.

Pressing on angrily, Negan held up another finger. “TWO! Have sex! I don’t give a flying fucking shit.” his expression darkened. “As long as she. Says. Yes!”

Negan rounded again on the guy on the ground. “What fucking rule did you break, shithead?”

The guy said nothing. He seemed at loss for words, looking terrified. He was gaping like a fish.

Negan leaned down, getting in the guy’s face. His expression was terrifying. “I asked you a goddamn question. And I expect you to answer.”

You had turned your eyes up again, watching the scene, unable to not to. The guy was physically shaking under Negan’s glare.

“She didn’t say yes,” the guy sputtered out.

“CORRECTAMUNDO!” Negan exclaimed, pulling away from him, a huge smile plastered on his face. Nothing about the smile was friendly. It was menacing. “And there are NO exceptions to that!”

Before the guy could even react, Negan swung back around, Lucille striking the guy alongside the head, knocking him to the ground. Your breath caught in your throat, a scream lost.

Negan kept hitting him. “AS. LONG. AS. SHE. SAYS. YES!” He hit the guy’s head, it becoming a mess of blood and bone on the floor with each word. You flinched every single time.

Tearing your eyes away, you noticed Daryl staring down at the ground, yet still flinching every time he heard the noise. You knew he was thinking of Abraham. Of Glenn. How could he stand listening to this without bolting from the room? And now you witnessing this first hand, there was something brewing in you. Disgust of course but also anger. This is what had happened to Abraham and Glenn.

Letting out a loud whoop, Negan straightened up, Lucille hanging by his side. There was blood dripping from the bat, adding to the mess on the floor. “Any of you other fuckers think of trying to rape someone, I’ll have your head ground up like this sorry piece of shits!”  
He turned back to the girl that two of the saviors were holding, breathing deeply. “Whoo!” He exclaimed. “That gave me a fucking rush! Doling out justice and punishment like that!” He zeroed in on the girl. “Darling, we aren’t monsters. I wanted you to know that.” He pointed at the mess of his former savior on the ground, “That man was an abomination. And he’s dealt with.” He flicked his gaze towards his men, pausing for a second. “Take her back. I just needed her to see that.” His eyes moved around the room and he laughed a little, “Actually, I needed a lot of people to see that.”

Leaving his men, he made his way over towards the three of you. You were still trying to catch your breath, disgusted at what had just happened.

“Sorry about that, darlings,” he told the three of you, not sounding really sorry at all. His expression turned firm. “And I am serious about no one touching you.” He seemed to be focusing directly on Amber. “And if anyone does, I wanna hear about it lickety split. Ya got me?”

“Yeah,” Amber got out.

Negan looked at you and Sherry and rose his eyebrows expectantly.

“Yeah.”

“Yes.”

He regarded the three of you for a few more moments before smiling again. “Good to hear. I like when everyone is on the same page.” He shot Amber another look before turning on his heel and walking off towards the door.

<> <> <>

It had to be close to a month that you had been here.

And you found yourself leaning into the toilet, throwing up again. You had been here all morning. Everyone who was close to this bathroom had gotten something shouted at them as soon as they had tried to come in to use the toilet. Your throat was hurting from the shouting and from the throwing up at this point.

You needed the doctor. You leaned back against the wall, feeling the coolness on your bare skin on your shoulders, trying to focus on that.

You weren’t stupid. You knew what it was. You were late, your breasts were sore, and you were sick.

You found yourself at Carson’s door. He looked at you alarmed when he saw your face and you knew it must be pale.

“What…” Carson demanded before trailing off.

Exhaling loudly, gaining your breath and strength, you moved further into the room. “I need a pregnancy test,” you informed him.

Carson did not look surprised after hearing this, which in all actuality, did not surprise you in return. He must know. Everyone knew here. You were off limits and it was for a reason. He actually looked relieved to hear this, having an explanation for your state.

“Right. Of course. Hold on,” he told you before turning around to his supplies. Holding a test to you, you took it from him as he pointed you, “You can use that bathroom.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled.

Fifteen minutes later, exhaling deeply, you pulled the test up, looking at the strip.  
It was clear that it said yes.

Negan was getting what he wanted. He wanted you here and this was the perfect way to do it.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

How did you not think this was going to happen? Negan had been fucking you without protection for weeks.

You closed your eyes before exiting the bathroom. Carson was waiting in the room and stood up halfway from his chair. He could tell from the expression on your face. You looked close to tears.

“We have prenatal vitamins…” he started to say gently and then cleared his throat. “You should speak to Negan.”

Shaking your head, you asked in an abnormally calm voice. “Can you tell how far?”

Carson shrugged, shaking his head. “I can’t be precise.”

“How far?” you repeated with more force.

“When is the last time you had sex?” You turned to him angrily. Carson noticed and snapped, “I don’t have the equipment I used to have.”

You felt like hyperventilating. “I can’t…”

On the worst cue, Negan knocked on the door, pushing it open. “Doc, that fucking same dumbass hostage… oh.” He noticed you sitting there. He immediately took notice of the look on your face. “What the fuck is happening?” he threw an accusative look at Carson. He immediately went into protective mode seeing you look distraught.

Carson threw you under the bus without a second thought. “She’s pregnant.” His voice was light, airy. You wanted to sock him in the face.

Negan on the other hand, looked gleeful immediately. Snapping his fingers, he turned on one of his heels, the other leg swinging with the motion, to face you.

“Damn, baby! So much more fertile than any of the rest of them! Oh, this is big.” You just stared at him, trying to hold tears back. He faltered a little. “What? That cat of yours got your tongue?” he laughed to himself and you threw him a look on that bad joke.

“Don’t make me,” you got out.

Negan’s mood changed dramatically in a few seconds. He gave you a confused and somewhat offended look. “I didn’t make you do anything.”

“Don’t make me give birth. That’s how Lori died!”

Furrowing his brow, he demanded, “Who the fuck are you babbling about?”

“Rick’s wife. Please,” you pleaded.

This seemed to hit Negan hard. He looked immensely taken aback. “Shit. No wonder that motherfucker is so screwed up.”

Despite yourself, you scoffed at his blatant disregard for how you were feeling. “Do not use that against him.”

“Well, last time I checked, you don’t tell me what to do, sweetheart.” He smiled again. “Oh, this is perfect though.”

“Yeah. Super.” You couldn’t have sounded less excited.

Negan rolled his eyes at you and snapped, “Ya think you can be a little bit happier? I’m not gonna let ya fucking die on the table. Well, Carson won’t. I have no part in that procedure. Have some goddamn faith in the man. Rick’s wife probably had a shitty doctor. I don’t have that.”

“She didn’t have a doctor,” you said, becoming tearful, thinking of it.

Raising his eyebrows, Negan clicked his tongue. “Well there was the problem!” You had nothing to say to this, trying to think of something else than remembering seeing Rick’s collapse after Lori had died. Negan closed the space between the two of you and tucked you under the chin to look up at him. “Come on. It’s gonna be fine. I know the hormones and shit got you going all freaking haywire but chill. Can ya at least give a small smile or something?”

You wanted to give him a punch to his face for dismissing it like that.

“Come on. You’re beautiful when you smile. And you’ll be glowing soon!” You were still looking upset, not making a move to do anything he was requesting. Negan’s smile faded, “Sweetheart, I’m not going to have you pouting and stressing yourself out. It’s not fucking healthy.”

“Yes, sir.”

Negan simpered at this, “There you are, doll.” He gave you a kiss on the forehead. Pulling away, he tossed a look at Carson, “Get her some vitamins or some shit.”

“Will do,” Carson replied.

Cupping the side of your face, Negan let it slide down, caressing, before walking past you out the door.

<> <> <>

A couple days later, you went outside, trying to get some fresh air. And also, to check on the cat. You had named it Midnight, regardless of the fact it had some white fur among the black. Since your pregnancy discovery, Negan had been watching you like a hawk whenever he was around, making sure you were eating all your meals and getting enough water. He had been more gentle last night when he had come to visit you, handling you more delicately.

You stopped when you turned the corner, seeing Daryl squatting in front of the cat’s little makeshift house. The cat had come out and was rubbing itself along his hands. He actually had a small smile on his face for once. He was always gentle to animals. It was something you loved about him.

“He let you out of his sight.”

Your voice startled Daryl and he almost fell onto his ass.

He looked around scared, trying to make sure no one else was out there. “Yeah,” he finally got out, standing up straight, facing you.

“A trap?”

“Test.” He swallowed sharply.

Your expression softened. “Daryl…”

“We aren’t supposed to be talking, remember?”

He looked extremely uncomfortable. You wanted to comfort him, but you knew it was best to keep your distance, in case Negan did happen to see or another one of the saviors. Less punishment if you were merely talking rather than being close and talking.

“Which is why we should do it quick.”

“Do what quick?”

“Think of a plan.”

Daryl shook his head. “There’s no point.” You furrowed your brow, looking at him shocked. He noticed and shook his head again. “Rick’s given up.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Seems like it. He knows Negan’s got the manpower.”

“I’m pregnant.” You just dropped it and Daryl looked stricken. You looked at him helplessly, “What should we do?”

He looked taken aback by the question. And you guessed it was because you used the word we instead of I.

Daryl’s expression hardened immediately. Something seemed to snap in him. “Get out of here. Go home.”

“Without you?” you balked.

“Yeah.”

“Daryl, please.”

“If we both leave, it’s done.”

“What am I going to do on my own? I can’t go back to Alexandria. Even if I stay away for weeks, Negan is always going to come back. He’ll find me! And I can’t go to the Hilltop because they will either rat me out or Negan will find me there!”

“You don’t wanna stay here.”

“Of course not. Not with this,” you touched your stomach. “He’s got me. He knows I can’t go anywhere. I can’t deliver on my own. I can’t scavenge on my own with a baby.”

“You’re right,” Daryl admitted, sounding defeated.

There were a few moments of silence, the two of you thinking to yourselves. You looked up at him, “Something positive could come out of this. I can try to leave.”

Daryl simply looked confused. “What?”

Your mind was running a mile a minute. “Maybe it’ll get him to trust you if you betray me.”

Daryl still looked bewildered. “What are you going on about?”

“I hit you and I escape. You tell Negan what happened. Which is like betraying me. You tell him I left.”

“Don’t.” Daryl’s beg was clear and firm.

You tried to assure him, “I’ll come back to you. I won’t get far. Plus, you’ll come find me. I know you’ll find me quickly.”

“It’s not smart.”

“He will do a lot to have you on his side. But this is going to gain his trust.”

“It’s crazy.”

“We will do it at night. They’ll have a hard time finding me in the dark.”

“Y/N. I don’t like it. At all. If it’s dark, you can’t see either. What if you walk into a group of walkers?”

“I’ll have a knife.” Daryl was shaking his head and you stepped closer. “I know I didn’t listen to you about coming here. We should have been smarter about what we were going to do. You were right. But, then you would be here all on your own. And… And I think that would be worse.” His eyes met yours and you gave him a pleading look. “Daryl, do you want to survive this or not? If he doesn’t trust you, he’s never going to let us be around each other. We need to be around each other to get through this and get out of here.”

He looked firm, shaking his head a little bit, taking in everything you said. Finally, he gave a slight nod. “Fine. Yeah. You just need to promise me to be safe.”

“I will. Safer than I have been with Negan. Cross my heart.”

<> <> <>

Negan stepped out from behind a tree into your path startling you. You had heard something moving in the woods and had assumed it was a walker and had been ready to kill it. But, it was him and he did not look happy in the slightest. You’d only been gone less than a day. You were being followed more closely than you thought. The sun had only been up for maybe three hours at most.

You heard movement behind you and knew you were surrounded.

“God. Damn. Doll. I thought you would have been smarter than this.”

You were silent.

Negan stalked closer to you, swinging Lucille by his side. “Where you going?”

“Somewhere,” you responded in a quiet voice.

“Back to Rick?” There was a hint of jealousy and anger in his tone.

“No.”

He gave you a toothy smile. “You lying to me, baby?”

“No. I can’t go back there.”

“And why’s that?”

You decided to not reveal the intimate detail about Judith. About her not being Rick’s. You didn’t want to give Negan any more ammo than he already had against Rick. You just said, “How cruel would it be to go back and let him see me pregnant?”

“I think it would be a goddamn hoot,” Negan informed you. You fell silent, staring back at him. “So, tell me. What was your grand plan?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” He didn’t sound like he believed you at all.

“I just don’t want to be pregnant.”

Negan pondered on that for a moment before saying slowly, “So, you thought going out on your own was going to solve that?”

“I panicked.”

You didn’t know whether Negan was going to buy that or not. There was a minute of tension between the two of you as he stared you down, unmoving.

Relaxing a little, he declared, “Well, good thing Daryl boy here is such a good tracker! I knew I brought him on for a reason. Led us right to you pretty swiftly.”

You threw a glare over your shoulder finding Daryl in the crowd of saviors. He gave you a hard look and you shook your head before looking back at Negan. You were trying to be convincing with your anger at this revelation and it seemed to be working on him.

Negan grinned at you. “Sucks when tools and skills you used to have on your side are turned against you, doesn’t it?”

“You told me I had a choice.”

“You did.” He leaned in close. “You chose me. Now, you can choose to not have sex with me. Never gonna force you to do that. But, I’m not even a little bit cool with you just running off. And I’m fucking goddamn pissed about that.” He made an annoyed noise, leaning on Lucille. His eyes burned into you and you cowered back into yourself a little bit. Negan noticed this and relented a little, standing up straighter. “But, you got a choice, doll. You’re right. No matter how much it hurts my feelings.”

Negan stepped closer and you forced yourself to keep your ground. “BUT, I hate when people steal from me.”

Lucille was pointed straight at your stomach. “And you stole from me.” He stepped closer, looking infuriated. “And I _cannot_ let shit that slide.”


	7. Chapter 7

Negan brought you back to the Sanctuary, making you walk in front of him until you got to the truck they had left half a mile down the road. He had been quiet the whole ride back and you had been nervous to look at him. No one else was speaking either.

When you got out of the truck, he finally spoke to you. “Stay here.”

He disappeared, leaving you with Dwight and a few other saviors. Daryl was standing with another group and was avoiding your eye contact. You did the same to him, knowing you needed your performances to be believable.

Some of the saviors had started talking among themselves after a few minutes. The walkers were getting more agitated with the raise in noise.

Negan appeared again, and your attention zeroed in on Midnight in his arms. Your blood ran cold.

When he approached you, he held her out to you and you took her from him, bringing her close. His order was clear and crisp: “Throw it.”

You gawked at him for a second before sputtering, “What?”

“Over the fence.” His voice was cold.

Your eyes widened. Midnight had started getting antsy in your arms, not liking being so close to the fence and the walkers.

“You can’t be serious,” you choked out.

Negan stepped closer to you and said, “I couldn’t be more fucking serious.”

You had started to cry, cradling Midnight closer to your chest. “Please don’t make me.”

“You should have thought about what you were doing!” Negan told you, his voice rising.

He gave you a shove back towards the fence. The saviors by you made a path for the pair of you. You looked over your shoulder at the walkers clawing at the fence before throwing a pleading look back at him.

“I’m sorry!”

“Sorry doesn’t change what you did! The more I have to ask you, the more pissed off I am getting! You do it or you’re gonna watch me do it!” Negan was shouting at this point.

You had backed up close to the fence and the sound of the walkers behind you was becoming overwhelming. Midnight was trying to get out of your arms with fervor. Tears were running down your face as Negan stepped close.

Looking back at the walkers, you choked out a sob, trying to keep Midnight in your arms.

Rolling his eyes dramatically, Negan growled, “Gotta do everything myself.” He reached out, grasping a hold of Midnight.

“No!” you cried out, but he was stronger, yanking her from you. Midnight let out a loud screech being yanked around.

He held tight against Midnight’s struggling, the walkers becoming louder, scratching at the gate as he got closer. You tried to follow him but Dwight grasped your arm, holding you there. Midnight was trying to get away from him, meowing desperately.

“NEGAN! DON’T! PLEASE!” you sobbed. “I didn’t mean it!”

Negan made to throw her over the fence and you tried to fight away from Dwight. Mid swing, Negan’s momentum stopped, and your breath caught in your chest. He lowered his arms, Midnight still squirming to get away from him.

He turned back to look at you and your tear-stricken face. He had a Cheshire sized grin on his face as he threw Midnight onto the ground and she took off through the Saviors. You jerked trying to go after her, but Dwight held you in place.

“Well, would you look at that!” Negan exclaimed, and you turned to look at him again, wiping at your eyes. “You _are_ sorry!”

Approaching you, Negan stared you down. Peering down his nose at you, his voice was low and threatening, “Next time you do something stupid, I will make you throw it.”

You hiccupped, trying to catch your breath.

“You understand me?” he growled.

You forced yourself to nod.

“Good!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands out. “Fan-fucking-tastic! Dwight, let the lady go.” You felt Dwight’s hand leave your arm. Negan swung his arm around your   
shoulder. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get reacquainted with your room and your things.”

You caught Daryl’s gaze finally. He looked angry but as soon as you made eye contact, he clenched his jaw, looking away from you. Keeping up the charade. You knew it was taking everything in him to not come after you. You saw his eyes. He was hiding his emotion well from people who didn’t know him, but you knew him well. If it had been different circumstances, he would have jumped in, popped Negan in the jaw good and maybe beat him into the ground. No, he would have beat him into the ground in different circumstances. You were thankful he was able to keep his emotion in check.

<> <> <>

“You’re angry at me.”

Negan had brought you back to your room and you had been silent the whole way. You were still in shock he had tried to make you kill the cat as punishment for running and taking a couple of cans of food. You shot him a look and he pointed at you. “Careful how you’re looking at me, doll.”

Shaking your head, you looked away from him, tears pricking your eyes again. You were still shaking a little from the whole ordeal. Every decision you tried to make seem to make things worse. But, Daryl had been praised by Negan, which was a good sign. Daryl had to start playing a pretty convincing part. He was starting with a fantastic performance.

Swallowing sharply, you wrung your hands as Negan advanced on you. “You knew if you got caught you were gonna get in trouble. Don’t act like you didn’t.”

You pushed out, “I knew.”

Negan stepped up to you and remarked, “I knew you weren’t that stupid. You’re just freaking out.”

“You can’t possibly want this,” you tried.

Cocking his head to the side, Negan regarded you. “We made something. You didn’t ask me my opinion about what you were doing with it. You just left. In the middle of the night mind you.”

“It’s dangerous. Not just for me but for everyone. I’ve seen Judith. She cries whenever she feels –”

“I don’t give a _fuck_ what Rick’s baby does.” He stepped closer. “I chose you for a reason. Liked ya. Think you’re pretty. But, you also seemed equipped to do this for me.” He paused, looking you over before his gaze snapped back to meet yours. “And I asked you if you wanted this. You let me cum –” He paused, giving you a sheepish smirk before rephrasing, “You agreed that unprotected sex was alright. This,” he gestured at your abdomen. “Is a part of that.”

“Now I know you don’t like being forced to having a baby. But what are you going to do? And running off on your goddamn own like you’re some kind of fucking cave woman? You’re gonna get yourself into a fucking shit world of trouble. Bleeding out. And not only will I lose you, I’ll lose that baby too.”

“Lose me?”

“Oh, give me _some_ fucking credit, Y/N.” You stared at him not saying anything. He sighed loudly before snapping, “You honestly think I don’t like you?”

“You like burying your dick in me.”

Negan actually looked offended. “If that was the only thing, you know I would have made you throw that stupid ass cat right in the smack dab center of those walkers.” He fell silent, looking at you for a second. “But, I know you care about the little shit, so I didn’t. And I care that you like that little shit. If I didn’t give a shit about you besides your pussy, do you think that would matter to me? For even a second?” Again, you were silent. And again, he snapped at you, “Think before you talk, sweetheart.”

“You have a terrible way of showing it,” you finally told him.

This drew a scoff out of him. “Yeah, I have a history of that,” he admitted.

“Trying to psychologically damage me to get your point across isn’t healthy.” Your anger got the better of you and you just spit it out.

Negan sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, looking away from you. “If I let you get away with that shit, it wouldn’t look good. Me maintaining this place is what matters. Sorry about your goddamn feelings.”

Negan was trying to open up to you and part of you felt inclined to forgive him, but the other half was still furious and disgusted with him. That part won.

“Me too. Can I please take a nap? I haven’t slept since last night.”

Running his tongue along his bottom lip, Negan studied you for a moment before replying, “I’m coming back later. And you’re going to eat. And take those stupid goddamn vitamins.” With that, he turned and left you in the room alone, slamming the door behind him.

<> <> <>

You had been cold to Negan since then, feigning illness more often than the nausea was actually happening. You were keeping to your room and avoiding contact with other people there. It had been a few days since you had considered coming out of your room.

He was going on another run to Alexandria and before he left, he stopped in your room, finding you in bed reading.

“Carson wants to look at ya. Let him.”

“I will.”

He hesitated by your bed, looking like he wanted to say something. You looked over at him and he looked deep in thought.

“Can I do something for you?” you asked him, trying to keep the sarcasm out of your voice and failing.

Negan’s expression hardened, and he responded, “Yeah. Keep that attitude in check. And drink your damn water.” Again, he left you in the room with a slam of the door.

<> <> <>

“Where’d you get your little girl clothes? And supplies?”

“Around,” Rick responded, giving Negan an odd look. Gabriel was doing the same, side eyeing Negan.

Negan shrugged it off. “Just wondering. I’m gonna have to start scavenging. I’m expecting myself.” He shot Rick a look and laughed, “I mean not me obviously. But, yeah. I’m gonna be a dad.” Rick couldn’t hide the shock on his face and Negan simpered. He wagged a finger at Rick, “She’s worried because of what happened to your wife and all.” Rick clenched his jaw and Negan rose his eyebrows momentarily, noticing the anger in Rick’s expression. He had struck a nerve. He pressed on, “I told her not to worry. I’m not trying to freak her out. She needs to be zen. Buddha and everything.”

Rick said nothing. “How sick was your wife? Y/N’s got a bad case of morning sickness or whatever that bullshit is.”

Forcing a shrug, Rick got out, “It doesn’t last long.”

“Good to know,” Negan responded. “She’s been staying in her damn room far too much.”

“She’s got her own room?”

Negan threw Rick a smile, “Of course, Rick. You think I’m making her fucking sleep outside?” Rick merely looked at him. Negan clamped him on the shoulder, “Don’t worry. Your – or really my – lady is doing fine. Besides the throwing up.”

Gabriel stepped in, asking, “You do plan on getting the baby baptized right?”

“Man, what?” Negan laughed at Gabriel. He turned his head to look at Rick still laughing, jabbing a finger at Gabriel as if ‘get a load of this’.

“Just because the apocalypse is upon us doesn’t mean you shouldn’t baptize babies,” Gabriel continued, ignoring the teasing he was getting from Negan.

Negan threw his arms out, “Padre, I don’t give a shit about baptizing.”

“You should ask Y/N how she feels about it.”

Studying him, Negan narrowed his eyes a little bit. Gabriel didn’t waver under his gaze.

Spencer approached the group and cleared his throat. “May I speak to you?” he asked Negan when he got his attention. “Privately?”

“Sure,” Negan commented before throwing another look at Gabriel. He shook his head and followed Spencer.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, Gabriel leaned in towards Rick. “If she says yes, she can try to convince him to bring her back here to me. She’ll bring the baby and herself.”

“You’re getting too clever for your own good,” Rick told him, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. The smile disappeared, and he sighed, “I can’t believe what’s happening. We shouldn’t have sent her.”

“She will be fine,” Gabriel reassured him. “She’s smart. And she’s got Daryl there.” Rick nodded in acknowledgment. Gabriel put his hand on Rick’s shoulder and repeated, “She’ll be fine.”

<> <> <>

Spencer had left Alexandria with Negan and they were on their way back to the Sanctuary. Negan had been gleeful to find someone else to take back with him, leaving Rick with one less body than before. Especially Spencer had left Rick with a big “FUCK you”.

Negan had not held back from grand standing about Y/N being pregnant and mentioning Lori. Rick had clenched onto Lucille and Negan had almost hoped for Rick to raise his hand.

He wanted another beat down on him. But to his disappointment, Rick had kept his anger in check and his grip had loosened on Lucille, letting her hang by his side loosely again.

On the way back, Negan brought up Rick again. “How is he doing without Y/N?”

“Y/N?” Spencer asked.

“Yeah.”

Spencer shrugged. “He’s been torn up about losing both her and Daryl.”

“He moved on?”

“I’m not catching your meaning.”

Negan looked over his shoulder at Spencer curiously. “He found someone else to bed instead of Y/N?”

“Rick?” Spencer looked confused and Negan turned around in the seat fully to get a good look at him. He furrowed his brow seeing Spencer’s expression. “Rick’s with Michonne. Not Y/N.”

Negan’s expression darkened, and he demanded, “Y/N was never with Rick?”

“As far as I know. If anything, her and Daryl had a thing.”

Clenching his jaw, Negan fell silent, taking in this information. He shot a look at Mark, who was driving the van, who was also trying to pretend like he couldn’t’ hear the conversation. Negan turned back around again and stared out the window pissed off, fuming in this new information.

<> <> <>

You looked out the window and saw Negan had returned. Your heart stopped seeing Spencer get out. Did he take someone else and bring them here like Daryl?

That worry was squashed the moment you saw Spencer smile and chatting with the guys around him. You couldn’t tell what he was saying but he didn’t look scared at all.  
You felt anger welling up inside you. There was no way Rick would send Spencer here of all places undercover. Spencer had betrayed them. And you noticed the expression on Negan’s face as he strode towards the door. He looked infuriated.

The worst came to mind and you turned moving down the hallway quickly to get to the kitchen.

Cutting into an apple, you tried to calm your nerves to stop your hands from shaking. You needed to be calm, collected. Before you knew it, Negan burst into the kitchen, finding you taking a bite of the piece of apple.

Throwing himself into a seat at the table, he placed Lucille next to him. You threw him a look over your shoulder, giving him a small smile. He didn’t return it.

“Sit the fuck down over here,” Negan ordered you, slapping the seat of the chair next to him.

You moved to the table and did as he asked. You cut off another piece of your apple and looked at him with a curious expression. He was silent, studying you. You knew Spencer had said something at this point. You needed to act quickly and intelligently.

Finally, Negan spoke. “How long were you and Rick together?”

Chewing your apple, you forced yourself to make eye contact with him. You feigned thinking before shrugging slightly. “A month and a half or so.”

Negan’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he questioned, “And he was that torn up about you leaving?”

“Wouldn’t you be pissed if I left you for some guy and I’ve only been bedding you for less than two months?”

He looked less than amused. “Touche,” was all he said. He clicked his tongue and asked, “Rick with anyone else?”

“Lori. Jessie… she’s dead too like Lori. And Michonne.” You had to throw Michonne out there, you knew that’s what Spencer would have divulged.

Negan looked a little surprised before muttering, “Huh.” He cocked his head to the side before inquiring, “He with Michonne?”

“I’m assuming so.”

“So, he was with you both?”

“It’s a sore subject,” you muttered before throwing him a curious look. “Why are you concerned about that?”

“Because. I have your friend Spencer here.” You stopped chewing and threw a – what you hoped was – a surprised look at him. He smirked slightly seeing your expression. “And funny story. He’s telling me you were never with Rick. Rick is with Michonne. And that _you_ , my dear, were with _Daryl._ ”

Rolling your eyes, you looked away from him and cut off another piece of your apple. Negan reached out, snatching your hand, stilling your movement. With his other hand, he yanked the knife out of your hand and placed it by him.

“It’s making me uneasy that you have that during this conversation,” he informed you. He exhaled and leaned forward, staring you dead in the eyes. “So who is telling me the truth?”

“I was never with Daryl.” You sighed loudly and then admitted, “I like Daryl.” Negan clenched his jaw at this revelation. You reiterated, “But, I was never with Daryl.” Negan said nothing. You tried again, “I’m not trying to get with him if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m worried about who is telling me the truth or not. You know how I handle men trying to get with one of you gals.”

You threw your hands out and said, “I’ve told you everything. I’m being honest. I admitted to you I have a crush on one of your guys. Willingly!”

Negan pointed out, “Didn’t say anything before.”

“What would that have solved? And when would it have ever come up in regular conversation?”

He had nothing to say to this.

You exhaled before commenting, “And if I’m going to be even more honest, you probably shouldn’t trust someone who constantly hoarded food and weapons in his house from the rest of the group. Not a very good team player.” This information seemed to peak Negan’s interest. You waved it off as if it mattered not though, “But, he might turn over a new leaf. I’m not one to judge people. Situations make people do dumb things. As I know too well.”

Leaning in close, your hand touched his and Negan’s eyes flicked down to it before meeting your eyes again. You told him, “I’m having your kid. I’m not trying to fuck Daryl. And I am honestly not emotionally stable to be talking about Rick, me, and Michonne. But if it will put your mind at ease, ask away.”

Negan was quiet for a few moments before he told you calmly, “You’ve said enough.”

Leaning back away from him, you remarked, “Don’t judge him too harshly. It wasn’t a thing that was out there. It’s not his fault.”

Snorting loudly, Negan noted, “Again. Your goddamn compassion for people.”

“I’ve got to keep some of my humanity for this baby,” you snipped as you stood up. You took a bite of your apple, chewing slowly.

Negan stood up from the table and faced you, staring down at you. You swallowed your apple, staring back at him. “I find out you’re lying to me…” He let out a low whistle. “I told ya, I don’t enjoy hurting women.”

“Especially ones you like and _especially_ ones who you like that are carrying your baby?” you retorted.

He gave a humorless laugh, “Yeah, exactly.”

“I’m not lying to you.”

He picked up Lucille from beside his chair, “Good to hear, doll.” He turned back to you and saw you looking him up and down. “See something you like?”

Airily, you told him, “If you get some time, I would appreciate it if you would come to my room sometime soon.”

That caught his attention. Negan to smirked, his whole demeanor changing as he sauntered closer. “Over being pissed at me?”

Giving a small careless shrug, you replied, “It’s taking a lot of my energy to keep it up.”

Negan stepped close, peering down his nose at you. He bit his bottom lip, running his eyes down your body before admitting, “I do miss ya.”

“Then come to me.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the alternative fic is going to divert. Heads up.

“So, uh, what’s going on between you and Y/N?”

After speaking to you, Negan had gone and found Daryl, cornering him out in the yard with Dwight. Dwight was standing a few paces off, recognizing that Negan wanted a conversation with Daryl.

“What do you mean?” Daryl asked, avoiding eye contact. Dwight was watching the conversation with interest.

Negan moved his head, trying to get into Daryl’s line of vision. “Just an observation made by one of your guys. Spencer.” This caught Daryl’s attention and he met Negan’s eyes. Negan smirked at this development. “He’s here. And just mentioned something to me on the way here that seemed odd. Something about how he believed Rick was with Michonne and that you were with Y/N. Not Rick.” Dwight shot a shocked look at Daryl, which Daryl did not notice or did not care about. “So, Daryl, I’m wondering who the fuck is jerking my leg or if someone is fucking misinformed. You wanna help me with that?”

Daryl chewed on his cheek for a second before stating quietly, “I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Hmm.” Negan cleared his throat and said, “Funny. Y/N said the same thing when I asked her.” Stepping closer to Daryl he continued, “She also said that it was a ‘sore subject’ about her and Rick and Michonne. That Rick was seeing both of them. Now, I’ve seen that guy. No doubt he’s got some good looks. But he’s _such a bitch_. How could he string two beautiful women like them along?”

Daryl had inhaled deeply when Negan had insulted Rick and it had gone duly noted by Negan. But otherwise, Daryl kept himself in check, much to Dwight’s surprise.

“Power, I guess.”

Negan pondered on that for a few seconds before nodding in agreement. “That’s a valid point.” He paused again before inquiring, “You know Y/N likes you?” He caught the look Daryl gave him, a pleading, wanting look. He smirked, “She told me so. Said she liked ya. I’m gonna admit that it did make me a little fucking jealous hearing that.” He gave Daryl a piercing look and Daryl turned his eyes away submissively. Negan continued, his tone bright, “But! She assured me that she wasn’t trying to get with you. Yet, I can’t help but to think: that’s now. What about before I was in the picture? What was it like? Her liking you? Did you know it?”

“I did. But… she’s too good for me.”

Negan studied Daryl for a moment before a smile creeped across his face. He looked pleased with this answer. He gave Daryl a clap on the shoulder before declaring, “Right! She is.” Daryl’s expression didn’t change. “Funny how people just seem to know their place in life while others don’t. I knew you were a fucking smart cookie, Daryl.” He clapped Daryl on the shoulder again, “You keep this up and you’ll continue to rise.”

With that, he turned and left the pair of them in the yard. Daryl stared after him with a hard look, seething internally.

<> <> <>

You were in the kitchen with a group of people who were working for their points there. They were trying to figure out dinner. Cooking without your normal ingredients was proving to be hard.

“Maybe use cream of mushroom? But are they all bad?”

“I think so,” one of the kitchen workers, Isaiah responded, sounding put out.

“Oi!” Negan exclaimed from behind you, causing you to jump, as well as the others in the room. They immediately went to their knees, looking startled they hadn’t noticed him walk in. You did the same quickly. You looked up at him and rose your eyebrows. “I'm coming to ya,” was all he said when he saw your expression.

Getting up, you threw a look back at the other people. “I’ll be back.”

“No, you won’t,” Negan cut in and you threw him a look. He gestured for you to walk past him and you did so stiffly.

“It's almost dinner,” you muttered to him when the pair of you were out of ear shot and down the hallway.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were keeping a fucking schedule. Oh, right, you fucking aren’t.” He threw you a smirk, “Plus, you can work up an appetite. Make dinner all the more worth it.”

“Cute.”

“I try.”

When the two of you reached your room, Negan threw Lucille down next to the bed before advancing on you. You pushed his hand between your thighs through your dress. “I still want it.”

Negan let out a pleased noise, playing with your sex through the fabrics. “I’m glad I found this little number.”

“Want me to wear it during?”

He let out an amused chuckle. “I haven’t seen ya naked in a while, so no.” Doing as he requested, you pulled the dress over your head and as soon as he was able, Negan reached behind you undoing your bra and tossed it aside.

You worked on his clothes and pushed him back towards the bed as you did so. “Feeling strong today?” he teased.

“Just needy,” you responded as his knees hit the edge of the mattress. You ran your hands up his bare chest as he undid his buckle and his pants. He took a second to pull them down and you gave him a little shove, sending him back onto the mattress into a sitting position. Moving down, you took his shoes off for him and pulled off his bottoms.

“Extremely needy,” he chuckled more to himself than anything as you stood back up. He ran his hands up your thighs ending at the hem of your panties before he pulled them down. He laid a kiss at the top of your sex, inhaling deeply.

“Stop teasing me,” you breathed out.

Negan grinned up at you and pulled you on top of him. Moving up the bed, he pulled you with him. “And since I haven’t seen ya naked in a while and I want to get a good look at ya.” You pushed yourself up, straddling him. He groaned, “Mhm, you feel good sitting on top of me like that…”

“I’m sure I can make it feel even better.”

“Mhm, sweetheart, I know you can.”

Negan lifted you a bit and you followed his motion. His cock ran down your wet folds. You whimpered, “Negan, please.”

“Stay still, sweetheart.” He continued to tease you, gently pressing against your dripping sex. You let out another whimper and he smirked up at you. “Does pregnancy increase your libido?”

Pulling you down onto his length, he grunted before pulling out and slamming back in. Your hold tightened on his arms, your breasts bouncing with his thrust. Your praises were spilling from your lips, coming out in husked breaths.

He slowed his pace, his hands loosening on your waist. They traveled down your sides, him murmuring in pleasure as he glided in and out of you.

Leaning down, you kissed him and he responded back with enthusiasm.

“You gonna let me take the lead?” you asked, your nose brushing his.

“If you want, doll.”

You pulled away from him and he frowned a bit. Facing away from him, you sunk back down onto his length, and you felt his hands at your hips. Setting the pace, you moved up and down on him, riding him steadily. He moved in and out of you and you began losing yourself in the rhythm.

He leaned back into the mattress, a low groan leaving his lips.

A rapt smack hit your ass and you couldn't help an audible gasp escaping your lips. Negan chuckled behind you before another hard hit landed on your ass.

His nails dug into your hips as he pounded you, your ass bouncing off his pelvis.

“Jesus fucking Christ, your ass looks amazing!” he husked. Another hard smack. You moaned out, feeling the sting and desperate for more.

Stilling suddenly, he pulled out before ordering, “Turn back around.” You did in a fluid motion. He pulled you close, his mouth capturing one of your nipples. Giving it a rough suck, he drew a low moan from you. His mouth ran between your breasts, up to your collarbone, leaving wet kisses. While he sucked at the base of your neck, you knowing you were going to have marks tomorrow, you positioned yourself, sitting back down on him.

He held you close as he resumed his deep, hard thrusts, one of his hands cupping your ass as the other arm held you in place across your back.

“Sir, please!”

His hand was hard against your ass, drawing a wanton moan out of you.

“You like that? Being hit?” Another smack. His eyes were hooded with lust, watching you bite your bottom lip in want. “No wonder you left him. I don't have an issue giving pain out.” His hand cupped your ass again, holding you in tightly in place again. “And sweetheart, seeing you buckle underneath it and still want to ride my cock? _Fuck_ , that is a gift that Rick can never imagine the worth of gifting me.”

Motherfucker still liked to run his mouth even when he was balls deep inside you. You let out a little laugh at the thought and you knew he had thought you had found amusement in what he had said judging by the smirk on his face.

A few moments later, you reached your peak and came crashing down, crying out to him. You felt him empty inside you as he felt you releasing, coating your walls. He came with a loud series of grunts. A silence fell over the room.

Interrupting the silence, you rolled off of him. “Soon I’ll be too fat. You should get your rocks off while you can,” you quipped, making to get out of the bed.

You felt Negan’s arm snake around your waist, pulling you back to him.

“Shouldn’t have suggested that,” he murmured to you burying his face into your neck, kissing your neck lightly. He nipped at your ear. “Just give me a few minutes.” You opened your mouth to protest but he continued, “Besides, I’m not just gonna let you have a fucking dry spell because you’re pregnant. Jesus, come on.”

“I’ll want the dry spell, trust me. I won’t even want to see myself in the mirror.”

“I’m sure I’ll be able to change your mind,” Negan told you, sucking on your ear lobe, his hand moving down to your sex, circling to get you wet again.

<> <> <>

“So, you’re pregnant?”

Mark had stopped you in the hallway and it was annoying the hell out of you. One, that he felt comfortable bringing up your pregnancy to you and two, that he had a smirk on his face. This wasn’t going to lead anywhere good.

“Yes,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Can’t women lose control of their bladder when they’re giving birth?”

What the hell was he trying to get at?

“I suppose? I’m not sure. You should ask Carson that question. He’s a doctor. What are you going on about anyway?”

“Right, so when you're pushing the baby out, you could pee out of your vagina at the same time? Some of the guys and I were talking about it. And found it quite funny. The thought of it.”

Oh, of course he would find something like that funny. You rolled your eyes, deciding to throw down some knowledge at him.

“You don't pee out of your vagina, Mark.” He immediately looked confused. “Yes, you can pee on the baby from your urethra which is ABOVE the vagina. But, not the same.” You snorted and quipped, “Maybe if you spent more time in a vagina, you would know that.”

Mark’s expression immediately changed. He reached out, snatching onto your arm roughly. “You dumb bitch – “ Mark started to say but was cut off by a voice coming from behind him.

“Mark! Get your ass back away from her!” You recognized the voice immediately. Simon had just come inside. Simon stormed up to the pair of you, placing himself between the two of you. He regarded Mark for a second, who looked uncomfortable, before asking, “You think Negan is going to like you beating up one of his wives? _Especially_ one of his _pregnant_ wives?”

“I didn't mean it.”

“You didn't mean to raise your hand as if you were going to smack her?”

Mark looked extremely uneasy. “No, I mean I wasn’t going to hit her. I was just threatening.”

“Yeah, cause that's better!” you couldn't help but to spit out.

Simon held a hand up to you and you clenched your jaw, closing your mouth, as Mark stared daggers through you. Simon's eyes were all on Mark and he saw it too. He clenched his jaw, focusing his attention back on Simon.

“She's hormonal as fuck, Marky Mark. What is your excuse?”

Mark pointed at you angrily and snarled, “She was being a bitch! Insulting me and – ”

“Then tell Negan, you fucking idiot!” Simon interjected forcibly, looking just as pissed as Mark. “Don’t go around threatening his girls. You think he’s gonna listen to you after you’ve frightened one of them? No. He’s gonna bash your damn head in! And I wouldn’t blame him!” Simon stared intensely at Mark, who had nothing to say. “Use your damn brain for once, you moron! Now get the fuck out of here.”

Mark did this with reluctance, throwing an annoyed look at you before turning on his heel and storming off.

Simon turned towards you and demanded, “What the hell did you do?”

Shrugging, you replied, “He was being ignorant as usual and didn’t know the anatomy of the female body. So I suggested he spend some more time inside one to get a better idea of how it works.”

There was a second before Simon let out a loud bark of a laugh.

He wagged a finger at you, “And I know you’re damn smart enough to know that’s the quickest way to annoy a guy like him.”

“Of course I do.”

“Be a little more… forward thinking in the future and only do that type of shit when there’s other people around to witness it and also to stop him from being a cock. That could have gone south for you quick if I hadn’t come in.”

“I can take care of myself, Simon.”

He regarded you for a second and you stared back at him unwavering. He let out a ‘hmm’ before stating, “Regardless, be smarter about it. Pick your battles.”

<> <> <>

Midnight had taken a handful of days to trust you in the slightest again. It hurt your feelings to see her scared of you, timid once again because of a few minutes with Negan. But she had come up close to you again. Cautiously, but she had done it.

Reaching out, you gave her a slow pet which she responded favorably to.

Daryl came around the corner and stopped seeing you. You smiled softly at him. “We always going to meet by the cat?” you tried to joke with him.

“We got a problem.”

You furrowed your brow, “What do you mean?”

“Carl.”

Your stomach dropped. “What?”

“He’s here.”

Looking at him confused, you demanded, “What? How?”

Daryl shrugged, “I don’t know. He seems to have snuck in on one of their trucks and he killed a few of Negan’s men.” You closed your eyes, trying to keep calm. Daryl kept talking. “Negan’s got him.”

“Is he alright?”

“I don’t know,” Daryl answered honestly.

“Was he alone?” Daryl nodded. You sighed, “Then Rick might not know. Does Carl… does he even think sometimes?”

“Same could be said about a lot of people. Emotions run high sometimes.”

“Right,” you muttered, running your hand through your hair.

“How are you feeling?” Daryl asked quietly.

“Fine.” You paused and then added, “Negan asked me about you.”

“I know. He did the same with me.”

“What’d you tell him?”

You noticed Daryl went slightly red at this question. He cleared his throat and said, “I told him we weren’t together.”

“Did he believe you?”

Daryl nodded again, “Yeah.”

“Good. That could have made shit hit the fan.” You paused and then hissed, “Fucking Spencer!”

“I told Rick we shouldn’t trust him.”

“Rick never did,” you pointed out. “Not fully at least.” Daryl nodded in agreement. You asked, “Have you spoken to Carl?”

“No. He probably won’t let me.”

“True… shit.” You ran your hand through your hair again, thinking hard. “I’ll figure it out.”

Daryl pressed, “ _We_ will. I’ll be damned if that kid gets hurt.”

“He makes it hard to protect his ass sometimes,” you muttered shaking your head. You sighed and then told Daryl quietly, “I should go though. Just in case someone… you know.”

“I know,” Daryl responded quietly. “I’m sure Midnight will convene another meeting soon.”

You snorted at this little quip, smiling at him. “I’m sure.”

<> <> <>

“Your could have been future mom in law... your old friend. They're here and now you are too.”

Negan was sitting across the table from Carl who was glaring at him. He smirked when he noticed. “Damn, kid. Didn’t I tell you to lighten the fuck up? You’re gonna get premature fucking wrinkles.” Carl still did not react. Leaning forward, resting his arms on the table, Negan pointed out, “Except Y/N is here for a completely different reason. And Daryl is here for a completely different reason. YOUR reason is the one I am most concerned about. Your dad too chickenshit to do more shit himself? So he sends his fucking kid?”

Finally speaking, Carl told Negan coldly, “He doesn’t know.”

Negan rose his eyebrows in surprise at this. “Shit, kid. You’re gonna get grounded.” He laughed a bit at this before adding harshly, “That is, if I let you leave this fucking place alive.” Again, Carl was quiet, not breaking eye contact with Negan.

Leaning back again, Negan told him, “Everything – every action – comes at a cost and son, you racked up a huge fucking fucked up fucking cost! It seems you are not on goddamn board at fucking all! Killing more of my people? Six of them to be exact! After what you saw what I did the last time your stupid ass friends screwed with me?” He paused and then mocked sighed, “I guess I’m gonna have to reiterate. Now, who would you want to die?”

This is the first time Carl wavered and Negan noticed immediately. He pointed roughly at Carl. “I told you no exceptions. Did I not get that through your damn head? I apparently didn’t even though I made that shit pretty damn fucking clear.”

“No one back home knows – ”

“I don’t fucking give a flying fuck!” Negan interjected angrily as one of the kitchen people came in holding a plate. His demeanor changed completely. “Ah, Isaiah. Thank you! Right on time.”

Carl sat across the table staring at Negan, looking rattled. Negan took the plate and placed it in front of him.

“Under different circumstances I would offer you some. But you’re kind of on my shit list, kid.”

He paused before cocking his head to the side. “What’s under your eye patch? I mean am I going to fucking regret asking this when I’m about to eat? Nevermind, I don’t care. Suspense is killing me. It’s like talking to a fucking birthday present. Take that shit off your face. I gotta see what grandma got me.”

“No.”

Negan’s expression hardened and Simon let out an exasperated breath from behind him. “Six men punishment. Really want to piss me off?” Carl reluctantly began pulling the bandaging off. “That’s better. Almost there...”

Carl pulled it all the way off and Simon let out a disgusted noise as Negan whistled loudly. He slammed his hand down on the table. “Fucking Christ, man! No wonder you cover that shit up. You look _disgusting_. Have you seen it?!” He threw a look over his shoulder at Simon who was shaking his head. Negan turned his attention back to Carl and exclaimed, “I mean – have you looked at yourself in the mirror? I wouldn’t blame you if you hadn’t. It’s fucking gross! I can see your fucking eye socket – your goddamn skull is exposed.” He let out a little laugh and said, “Now I want to touch it. Can I touch it?” Carl said nothing, staring down at the table. “Well?” Negan prodded.

Negan immediately quit the second he saw a tear welling up in Carl’s eye. “Oh, damn. Look… Holy shit, kid, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” He threw a look at Simon, giving him a grimace. He threw a look back at Carl who was still sitting still, the tear running down his face. Negan smacked his lips and said, “Well, shit, you can put that back on. Simon here and a few other guys will take you to your cell for now until I figure out what exactly I’m gonna fucking do with ya.”

<> <> <>

You came into the dining hall and saw Carl sitting by himself on a bench along the wall, not joining in. Shooting a look around the room, you saw Negan and Simon were both not in there. You moved quickly.

“Carl?” you ventured quietly.

He looked up suddenly hearing your voice. Jumping up, he wrapped you into a hug and you held him tightly back. Pulling away, you touched his face. “Are you alright? Where have you been?”

“In a cell.”

Your stomach tightened at this, thinking of Daryl in his. Putting Carl, a kid, into a dark cell like that…

“Why are you out now?”

“Negan wanted me to come into the dining hall and wait for him. He wants me to eat with him. Some guy came and got me.”

“And they just left you here…?” you questioned.

Carl shook his head pointing over at someone. You followed his direction and sighed annoyed to yourself seeing Joey getting himself food. “Of course,” you mumbled.

“He doesn’t seem too bright,” Carl told you.

You snorted, “Trust me. He’s not.”

Out of nowhere, Carl asked, “Are you really pregnant?”

Swallowing sharply, you studied him for a few moments. “How’d you hear that?” you asked him quietly.

“Negan. He was telling dad about it. More like bragging. So, are you?”

Of course Negan was rubbing it in Rick’s face. You clenched your fists slightly thinking about it.

You answered Carl, “Yes.”

“Why?”

You knew he wasn’t asking about how it had come about. He wasn’t that stupid. No, he was asking why you had done it. You could see the concern in his face.

“Easiest way to get close.” You couldn't lie to him. You exhaled sharply before saying, “You know, your dad and I –”

“I overheard him and Michonne. And don't worry. I didn’t tell Negan anything and he didn’t ask me.” You looked at him surprised. “I know what's on the line with you. And the group for that matter.”

“Why did you come here then? Why did you do what you did?”

“I wanted to take him out.”

You stepped close and hissed, “Don't speak so loud about that.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, throwing a look around before meeting your gaze again. He looked sad, “Is Daryl one of them? He barely looked at me.”

You felt your heart sink a bit at the hurt in Carl's voice. You gave the slightest shake of your head, not wanting to speak the words out loud.

Carl caught on and looked relieved for a second before pressing on, “What do we do if he is though?”

“We go with it. He's been doing well.”

“Y/N!” Negan called out from the balcony, startling you once again.

You turned to look up at him from where you were sitting. He was glaring down at you. His eyes flicked to Carl for a second before he turned going towards the stairs to make his way down.

“He doesn't like collaboration between us,” you quickly whispered to Carl before straightening back up. “He's going to make you work for points,” you said at a normal level. And then you leaned in close again, whispering, “I'll make sure it's nothing too bad.”

Negan approached the pair of you, swinging Lucille over his shoulder.

“The fuck you doing? Where’s Joey… oh Christ,” Negan started to say to Carl and you before he noticed Joey coming back with a plate. “Joey, you fat fucking tub of lard!”

Joey immediately looked terrified, assessing the situation quickly. He rushed back over as quickly as he could. “You just fucking leave the kid here? Where he could easily run away?”

“Figured the guards at the doors would get him if he tried that,” Joey admitted, sounding stupid. Negan clenched his jaw, glaring at him. “I – I’m sorry,” Joey stammered. “I’m an idiot.”

“Get the fuck out of my fucking sight,” Negan snarled at him and Joey was gone in an instant. His attention zeroed back in on you and Carl, him huffing still in anger about Joey. “What the fuck you doing?”

You shrugged. “Talking.”

Cocking his head to the side, Negan snapped, “So many fucking things can be interpreted from that.”

You played your cards. “What would you like to me to explain it as?” He looked pissed and you stated before he could get it out, “Discussing why he came here.”

Negan’s expression softened the slightest. “Well, he's told me that,” Negan responded, throwing a glance at Carl who turned his eyes down.

“He hadn't told me. I was worried.”

Letting out a little chuckle, Negan shook his head. “Those motherly instincts.” His eyes flicked to your abdomen before meeting your gaze again. He grinned at Carl. “Like I said. Coulda been your future mother in law and you also could have had yet another sibling. Too bad, son.”

“You’re keeping him here?” you questioned catching Negan’s attention again.

“I need him.”

“For?”

“You know the rules,” Negan told you before snapping, “And stop being so goddamn nosy. Go get yourself something to eat!”

“Yes, sir.”

You sucked in your breath, keeping your gaze with Negan's before turning your head to look at Carl. You shot a look at Carl, trying to not look humiliated before turning and leaving the pair of them.


	9. Chapter 9

Pulling open your jewelry box, you looked over the earrings. Before the world went to shit, you loved earrings. Frivolous things now, you thought to yourself. Yet, you were always asked to look nice.

You chose a set of simple faux pearls. You adjusted your hair in the mirror and stopped, looking at yourself. A black bandage dress and thigh high boots. You were looking more and more like the other wives. Since moving to the Sanctuary, you had to get used to dressing this way again. It replaced some normalcy to you, you had enjoyed dressing up to go out from time to time, but you had gotten so used to your post-apocalyptic wardrobe. Practicality over fashion. Wearing heels was not going to bode well for you if you ran into a group of walkers.

The practical looking girl was the one Daryl had fallen in love with. You hardly recognized yourself like this when you saw yourself in the mirror these days. You wondered if he approved of it or not. He thought you were beautiful regardless, you knew that much. But, whenever he happened to see you, his eyes would linger. You wondered what he thought about this charade.

Well, another thing you knew for sure besides him thinking you were beautiful was that he regretted letting you go in the first place.

Exhaling loudly, you turned away from the mirror.

You made your way to the wives’ room. You had gotten on good terms with them all. What else could the group of you do? You were all in the same boat. No one else knew what it was like. It made a pretty strong bond.

When you came into the room, you noticed quickly that something was wrong with Amber. You had a feeling you knew what it was considering what you had heard in passing from Sherry. Sherry looked at you as you approached and swallowed, stroking Amber’s arms affectionately, trying to comfort her.

“Hey,” you said quietly, trying to get Amber’s attention.

Amber looked up at you and gave you a weak smile before looking back down at the ground.

“Want something to calm your nerves?” you offered. Amber shot you a quick look before nodding. You made your way over to the small the bar in the room.

You poured a small glass of whiskey just as there was a knock on your door and it opened immediately afterward. Negan sauntered in, his eyes moving around the room, and when they fell on you, he beamed seeing what you were wearing. Carl moved into the room and you stiffened a bit. His looked you over and you turned your eyes away from him, focusing on Negan again, who was still grinning broadly.

Coming over to you, he commented, “Mhm, damn, baby. I might have to make some fucking time for you today with you looking as fuckable as that.” His eyes landed on the glass of whiskey in your hand and your eyes followed his gaze. But before you could explain, he demanded, jutting a finger at the glass, “Now, you’re gonna be a good girl and tell me that’s not yours, right? And fucking mean it, right?”

“Yes. I mean, no it’s not mine. I was getting it for Amber.”

Negan turned to look at Amber who was staring at the pair of you like a deer in headlights. He threw his hands out a bit, “You can’t get your own pretty ass up off the couch and do it yourself?”

“I offered,” you explained.

“Didn’t ask you, sweetheart,” Negan shot at you. You closed your mouth and there were a few moments of tension shared between the two of you as he stared you down. He finally gestured at you to go. You did so quickly and Negan looked past you towards Sherry. “Can I talk to you for a minute, dear wife?” Everything about his tone was dangerous.

Sherry looked less than amused to do as he requested but got off the couch from beside Amber as you approached the pair of them again. You took her spot on the couch and handed Amber the glass.

“Sorry,” she muttered to you, some tears welling up in her eyes.

You quickly assured her, “It’s not your fault. He’s just being a dick.”

“He knows,” she choked out to you quietly, shooting a quick, nervous glance at Sherry and him. You looked as well, seeing Negan was leaning in close and Sherry looked defensive.

Reaching out, you touched Amber’s arm, forcing her to look at you. “He’s not going to hurt you. Especially if you apologize.”

Swallowing sharply, Amber whimpered quietly, “But Mark…”

You had nothing to say to this. What she was insinuating was true. You saw movement out of the corner of your eye and Negan was making his way back across the room, beer in hand. He stopped, forcing Carl to hold it before he turned towards the pair of you.

“Get up,” he told you, his voice eerily calm. You did as he asked, but not before giving a squeeze on Amber’s arm, which did not go unnoticed by Negan. His eyes followed you as you walked off towards Sherry.

“Did you tell him?” you inquired quietly to Sherry. Before she answered, you had your answer because the look in her eyes. She gave you a curt nod. “He knew anyway, didn’t he?” Another curt nod. “She will be okay.”

Sherry finally looked at you fully, sadness painted on her face. “No… she won’t. You know what he’s going to do.”

Negan got up after a minute or so with Amber, looking just as calm as ever. He strolled back over towards you and Sherry, you taking a step back away from them, knowing he wanted to talk to her specifically. “Did you see that? I wasn’t hard on her… even though I am very hard in general.”

“You’re an asshole,” Sherry told him.

The smile on Negan’s face was mocking. “I know. And yet, you still like me!” He leaned in towards her, capturing her mouth with his. Sherry fell into the kiss, playing her part well. You averted your eyes, trying to give them at least a little privacy from one set of eyes in the room.

Your heart sank, noticing Dwight and Daryl come into the room. The look on Dwight’s face was painful to look at as he watched his ex wife lip locked with Negan. Anger burned in your chest, knowing Negan had done this on purpose.

Negan held up a finger, still kissing Sherry. You moved your eyes to Daryl who was looking at Carl. Daryl didn’t look pleased with Carl being in there.

Finally pulling away from Sherry, Negan turned his attention to the two of them in the doorway. “We have something to attend to, don’t we?” Negan commented to Dwight. Dwight nodded and Negan threw you a smile over his shoulder. Gesturing you over towards him, he ordered, “Come on.” Knowing better than to ask, you walked past Sherry to him. He gave you a small, encouraging push towards the door. “Your room,” he instructed.

Leaving the room between Daryl and Dwight, you walked into the hall finding a few more of Negan’s men waiting there.

“Oi, Simon, take Carl downstairs for me, would ya?” Negan called out. You looked back over your shoulder, seeing Negan motioning for Carl to exit the room. “Get him a pop or something.”

Carl shot you a look, hesitating, looking like he wanted to say something to you. Before he could though, Simon touched his arm, pulling him towards him. “Come on, kid.”

“Get going,” Negan directed to you at the same moment.

Simon and a couple men went with Carl while the other two came with you, Negan, Daryl, and Dwight.

When you reached your room, Negan swung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him. He moved the pair of you out of the way of the doorway so the other four could come into the room after you.

“Now don’t interfere,” Negan ordered you as the guys walked further into the room, approaching your things.

They were grabbing your things.

And packing your things.

“What are they doing?” you asked, looking at Negan for answers as the guys continued gathering up your things.

“Moving your stuff.”

Furrowing your brow, you inquired, “Am I moving in with the rest of the girls?”

Negan snorted, “Yeah, not exactly.”

“Wait what?”

“Come on, doll, I know you’re not that oblivious. Need to give this room to somebody. So, you’ll move in with me.”

Cocking as eyebrow as the men moved around the room, you asked, disbelieving, “Really?”

“What is so hard to believe about that?”

“You trust to sleep in the same bed with me all the time?”

It was Negan’s turn to regard you with curiosity. Peering down his nose at you, he questioned, “You tryna tell me something, baby?” Thinking better of it, you shook your head. “Good. This shouldn’t take too long. You don’t have that much shit to pack. Easy peasy.”

<> <> <>

The men left your stuff on Negan’s couch and Negan pointed at the door, his arm still tight around your shoulders. “Get out for a second. You two can go but Dwight and Daryl, wait for me at the end of the hall by the corner.” He paused before adding, “I don’t know how long it’s gonna take. Depends on how much my girls into it.” He licked his lips, looking at you with a glint in his eyes.

Daryl looked angry and Negan noticed. “Got something to say Daryl?”

Mustering up all the self-control he could manage, you imagined, Daryl told him tightly, “No” before walking out of the room stiffly.

As soon as they both had left and closed the door behind them, Negan pulled away from you. He pointed at a dresser, “Brought that one up here for you. Put your shit in it. On it. Whatever. Everything that doesn’t fit, leave it out and I’ll figure out what to do with it. Don’t want you fucking up the feng shui in my room by moving things around.”

You nodded before moving to one of the boxes and picking it up and started making your way towards the dresser.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Negan exclaimed and you stopped, turning around to look at him.

Negan closed the space between the two of you, watching you intently. “I didn’t say do it this fucking second.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?”

He took the box from you, and placed it on the ground by the bed. Leaning in close, he murmured, “Let me enjoy you for a fucking second for fucks sake. I need a damn break today.”

Negan pulled you to him, his lips crashing with yours. You moved your lips in tandem with his. He loved to kiss and taste, so you granted him access when his tongue explored your lips. Swirling his tongue around yours, he pushed you back until you were up against the dresser. His hands moved up, holding the sides of your face, fingers twisting into your hair as he continued his crusade against your lips.

He exhaled, sounding salacious, before he pulled away and turned you around, his hands moving up your sides roughly. A low moan escaped your lips at the touch of his hands cupping your breasts.

“Mhm, louder, sweetheart,” he grunted.

He was doing this – insisting – because Daryl was down the hall now.

You tried wriggling away from him but he snatched you, dragging you back again towards him. He wedged you in between him and his dresser. He tsked, “Where do you think you’re going?”

Stammering, you got out, “I-I need to do laundry –”

Again, Negan tsked you, his hands traveling down your sides to your hips. “You don’t need to do that.” He nuzzled his nose into your neck, inhaling deeply. You could feel him smile against your skin. “You embarrassed, sweetheart?”

“No,” you choked out as he grinded himself against your backside.

Pulling away from you slightly, he murmured something to himself before landing his hand on your ass. You gasped, taken off guard. Placing your hands on the dresser, you braced yourself, knowing there was going to be more.

Slowly tracing his fingers along your ass, Negan whistled quietly. Another hard smack and you clenched your fingers onto the bookcase. His touch was light otherwise, appreciating your curves gently. That is until he decided to spank you yet again, harder this time. Gasping again, you swayed a bit, forcing yourself to keep yourself looking available to him.

You felt his hot breath on your neck as he leaned in close. He inhaled deeply, taking in your perfume. He landed another blow on your ass and you keened.

Negan announced, his tone laced with lust, “This would be so much better if I could see how red I was making that perfect ass of yours.” He simpered for a moment before adding, “And how fucking wet and ready you are.” Pushing your hair over your shoulder gently, he leaned in, placing light kisses along your neck. His voice was soft, deep in his throat, almost like a purr, as his lips moved against your skin. “I know you’re wet, baby. I know you…”

You were thankful you had at least a few layers of clothing in between his hand and your backside. But, it wasn’t doing that much good because your ass was stinging at this point. And he was right, you were wet. He knew what got you started now.

Negan ran his hands up the sides of your dress, dragging his fingers along your bare thighs. He let out a pleased noise. “Mhm, I’m gonna have you all to myself.”

That’s what you were afraid of. He had an ulterior motive. He was making sure you didn’t have a private space. Either to meet Daryl or Carl or both.

“You always do,” you replied back to him, sounding sincere.

Letting out a low, dark chuckle he brushed his nose against your neck, nuzzling in once more. One set of his fingers hooked into the side of your underwear at your hip as the other one ghosted along the band before reaching the center. He pushed his hand down the front of your panties, his fingers stroking your pussy. You shuddered slightly against him and he sucked at your earlobe.

“You don’t gotta tell me that, baby… I already know.”

Grinding himself against you again, he let out a groan as he lazily circled your clit and ran his fingers up and down your sex.

After a few moments, he let out a loud sigh. “Ah fucking hell,” he cursed, pulling away from you, cutting off the heat that had begun to form in your core.

You blinked a few times, trying to regain grounding. You heard his voice behind you, “Shit, baby. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to rile you up like that and then leave you cold. I just can’t fucking control myself sometimes. You got me wrapped up in that pussy.” You pushed yourself up off the dresser and turned to look at him. His eyes lingered over you and you noticed the bulge in his pants. He shook his head disappointed, meeting your eyes again. “But I’ve got shit to do, sweetheart. As much as I would love to sit around and pile drive you into that mattress...”

Negan noticed where you had been looking and snuck a glance down at his crotch before throwing you a playful smirk. “Right. I riled myself up too. We’re both being punished. Blue balls for me.” He moved closer to you again, pulling you to him, giving you a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll come back later. Cross my fucking heart.” He pulled away and grabbed Lucille before saying over his shoulder, “Put your stuff away in the meantime.”

And with that he left you. Hot and heavy.

<> <> <>

Walking out of his bedroom, Negan swung Lucille over his shoulder, whistling. He closed the door behind him and turned to go down the hall.

Dwight and Daryl were still waiting at the corner and Negan approached them, smiling. “Thanks for being so damn patient. Ignore the steel rod in my pants. I unfortunately don’t have time to complete what I started. So, if we could get our shit done quick so I can go back and finish getting my lady off, I’d be pretty fucking happy.”

Clearing his throat, Dwight turned, waiting for Daryl to go. Negan had directed the last part at Daryl who was staring daggers at him. Negan cocked his head to the side, waiting for Daryl to say something.

Instead, Daryl exhaled sharply before turning on his heel as well, moving down the hall. Negan smirked to Dwight, looking satisfied. Dwight followed Daryl, Negan doing the same.

<> <> <>

It had been over four months since you had come to the Sanctuary. You honestly thought things would have moved faster than they had. But, there had been no sign from Alexandria or Rick for that matter. Daryl tried to communicate with Rick whenever he visited but Negan made sure that it never transpired. And Rick hadn’t put out any extra effort to get a message across to Daryl.

Negan had taken Carl back a couple days after Carl had shown up, killing some of his men. So you had not seen Carl for a month and a half at least.

“I’m putting on weight,” you mumbled, sitting at the table with Sherry, Amber, and Natasha, another one of Negan’s wives who had taken a particular liking to the three of you.

“You’re pregnant,” Sherry told you slowly, as if you didn’t know that already.

“I get that. I just hate it,” you mumbled again.

“You are getting a pouch,” Natasha told you and Sherry and Amber shot her a look. You could always trust Natasha to give you the honest answer. Natasha noticed the look. “What? It means that the baby is growing! That is a good thing! For her because, psychologically. And two, because Negan will continue to be happy!”

“Because that’s the most important thing,” Sherry muttered.

“It should be to us,” Natasha retorted.

You looked over your shoulder and saw the young kid you had been giving half of your food too standing in the doorway. His mum and him had been working for points and didn’t get enough food. You cleared your throat before looking back at Sherry, Natasha, and Amber.

“I’ll be back.”

You made to stand up from the table and Sherry reached out, grasping your wrist, stopping you. You looked at her. She said seriously, in a quiet voice, “You make sure he doesn’t catch you doing that.”

Of course you knew the he she was referring to was Negan.

Shrugging it off, you replied, “What he doesn’t know what hurt him.” You picked up the bag you had brought with you with the small amount of extra food in it. Sherry still looked worried watching you leave. She had reason to worry, you knew. So did you. But, the part of yourself telling you to do the right thing was more powerful.

“Anthony,” you greeted the kid at the doorway. He nodded stiffly at you. He had agreed to take your food but was always nervous when doing so because he knew what could happen to him. You gestured for him to move and he did so, leading you out of the room towards one of the large sleeping rooms where families working for points stayed.

When the pair of you had reached their little area, concealed by hung up sheets, you opened the bag, pulling out a couple cans of vegetables.

“Thank you,” Anthony said quietly, taking them from you.

“Yeah,” you responded before looking around. “Your mum working?” He nodded. “She in laundry?”

“Garden.”

You contemplated for a moment before saying, “I can help for a bit.”

Anthony looked at what you were wearing and you laughed a little, “I wore a looser – and longer – dress today for a reason. I knew I might be outside. Shoes, though… not practical, I know.” This got a little laugh out of him and you said, “But, I can take them off or whatever.”

“What about…” Anthony started to say and you focused on him. “Negan?”

For a few moments you didn’t say anything. But then you shrugged and said, “If he finds me, he’ll tell me to leave.”

<> <> <>

You were kneeling on a pad that Anthony’s mum, Lisa, had got for you when she saw you were approaching. She had been using it but insisted that you use it considering your knees would be bare against the ground.

“Don’t want to mark you up or anything,” she told you, forcing a small smile.

Raising your eyebrows, you nodded in agreement. “Right. Because apparently that’s the worst thing that can happen to me.” The other people around the pair of you were watching out of the corner of your eyes. You knew they were worried about you being down here in case Negan got mad about it. But, you and Lisa had moved to a bed that there were not a lot of people. She fetched you some gloves and a shovel and you began helping her plant beans.

She needed companionship and you were more than willing to give her some. You needed a break from being inside and especially inside either the wives rooms and Negan’s room.

You could tell the moment Negan had come outside because everyone stopped what they were doing immediately and began kneeling toward a certain direction. His shadow fell over you from behind and you turned around to look at him, shielding your eyes from the sun.

“Honey… what are you doing?”

Negan’s voice was calm as ever but you knew something was brewing underneath.

“Helping.”

“Helping,” Negan repeated, staring at you. He demanded, snapping his fingers, gesturing upwards, “Get your ass off the ground. That’s not good for you!”

“Negan, I’m not disabled.”

Negan’s expression darkened and you knew he was furious you were talking back to him in front of all these people. He growled, “When I ask you to fucking do something, you goddamn do it. And do it quick! Or have you somehow magically fucking forgotten that?”

He was in a mood today for sure. Holding in an annoyed sigh, you pushed yourself up off the ground. Muttering, you brushed off your dress, “No, sir.”

“Take that nasty shit off,” Negan ordered and you pulled the gloves off, handing them to Lisa. His eyes roamed you and he observed unhappily, “You got dirt all over that dress.”

“I’m sorry,” you replied instead of saying what you wanted to say. Something about how it was a good thing you knew how to do laundry. You were already in trouble.

He stepped closer to you and informed you, “You know, baby, you can do whatever you like for the most part. But, stuff like this is out of the damn question for now. Right?”

“Right.”

“Read. Paint. Watch movies. Sew. I don’t give a fuck. Just don’t start doing hard labor anymore or I’m gonna get really mad. And you break rules, you know what happens.”

“I know, Negan.”

A silence fell between the two of you before he stepped back and out of the way. “Run along.” You threw a look back at Lisa, giving her a small smile, which she returned. You slid your eyes back to Negan before walking past him, not breaking eye contact until you were past him.

When you were out of ear shot, Negan turned his attention to Lisa, who suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable. He squatted down to get onto her level. Staring at her intensely, he twirled Lucille around in his hands slowly. Lisa swallowed sharply, moving her gaze to the ground.

“Honey… look at me.” Lisa did as she was asked. “Y/N comes out here again, you tell her she has to go back inside. You hear me? And if she does come back out here, after you tell her that, you come and tell me. You understand?” Lisa nodded nervously. Negan gave her a toothy grin. “Thanks, doll.”

He straightened up and walked off. Lisa let out a loud breath that she had been holding in, trying to calm her quickly beating heart.

<> <> <>

“Please let me go.”

Negan was going to Alexandria once again. You had finally gained the confidence to ask him if you could go with him. You desperately wanted to see everyone.

But, what you had expected, Negan was refusing you.

“You’re sitting your pretty ass here.”

“But – “

“Shut your damn mouth.” His voice was crisp. You closed your mouth, sighing slightly, moving your eyes to the ground. There were a few moments of silence before you heard Negan move his feet, moving closer towards you.

“Actually…” your hopes rose hearing the tone change in his voice. You dared to look up to find him examining you. He let out, “I am leaving Daryl here…”

“Okay?”

Negan narrowed his eyes slightly. “And I don’t quite trust you yet.”

“Trust me with what?”

“Your feelings for him.”

He was never going to let that go. He was too jealous. And be as irked as you were that he was refusing you, you had no problem saying, “To be honest? I’m always going to feel something for him probably. It’s kind of how feelings work.”

Negan looked less than amused at this response. He snapped, “That’s what I’m afraid of. So, like I said, I don’t know if I trust leaving you here with him.”

“Even if he betrayed me to you.” It was more of a statement than a question.

Negan snorted at this and responded, “He probably still loves you. Didn’t want you to get eaten by walkers. I hardly see it as a fucking pass Go, collect 200 to being trusted by me.” He swung Lucille down by his feet, leaning on her a bit. “Plus, if you’ve fucking forgotten somehow, you’re fucking pregnant. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you go outside these goddamn walls and put you at risk.”

You couldn’t help but to spit, “I can take care of myself. I lived out there for a long time with the group. Took out a lot of walkers… and people.” The last part you let hang .

Negan regarded you for a few moments before replying, “And yet… you still clung onto a redneck who can’t handle a bit of prodding and abuse.”

“Most humane people do not respond positively to abuse. So, yes. I’m guilty.”

A flash of darkness passed across Negan’s face. You feared you had gone too far as he closed the remaining space between you. Peering down his nose at you, he spat, “I wouldn’t express your… inclination towards him too fucking clearly to me, sweetheart. Or I’m gonna get a little on edge.”

Straightening up to look at him, you returned, “Just because I say I like him, doesn’t mean I’m dumb enough to do it. I know who I am. I know where I am. And I know who I am with. And who I share a child with. And who I share feelings with. It’s not outside the realm of human nature to share feelings with more than one person and also be able to contain yourself.” You paused before adding, “I’d like to think I’m a pretty self-controlling individual.”

You meant this as a way to try to quell his anger.

Negan stared at you intensely before musing, “Well, look. at. you!” You kept his gaze and he snorted, “Well, answers still no. Your pretty ass is staying here. And Dwight’s going to keep a close eye on Daryl boy for me.”

“Why? I just –” you tried to say but he cut you off angrily.

“BECAUSE I SAID SO!” Negan bellowed, losing his temper. You stepped away from him quickly, everyone around the pair of you going quiet quickly. It was silent as Negan glowered at you. He thrust his arm out, pointing at the door. “Now get your ass back inside before I lose it again!”

You clenched your fists at your side, clenching your jaw before turning on your heel angrily.

“Now wait just a damn second!” Negan barked. You stopped in your tracks, forcing yourself to turn back to him. He beckoned you with a finger and you moved stiffly towards him. “First off,” he started off dangerously. “You watch that little fucking attitude you just got with me just now. You got me?” He paused and when you didn’t respond he repeated with more force, “You got me?” You nodded.

Leaning back a little, Negan continued, “Secondly, make sure you’re wearing that cute little flowing dress I got you when I get back.” You nodded again before he could prompt you and he smirked, seeing this. He reached out, playing with a piece of your hair. “And thirdly… where’s my kiss, baby?”

Moving to him, you moved up slightly and met his lips. He took his time, savoring it, running his free hand down your backside, cupping your ass tight. He pulled away smiling ear to ear. “That’s my girl.” He smacked your ass and ordered, “Now do what I said, sweetheart.”

You turned on your heel, going back inside the Sanctuary.

Immediately you began thinking of ways you could distract Dwight to be able to talk to Daryl. 


	10. Chapter 10

Everything you had done that day had proved fruitless to separate Dwight from Daryl. You were getting frustrated. All you wanted was to talk to him alone for a few minutes about what the next step should be for the pair of you.

Your heels clicked on the ground as you walked down the stairs. You were going to have to talk to Negan about more practical shoes the closer you got to your due date. And also about moving you back down closer to the ground floor because the further you got into your pregnancy, the harder it was going to be to move around. Of course there was an elevator in the building, but you didn’t want to always have to take that.

Anthony was waiting on one of the platforms for you and you smiled to yourself. At least something positive was going to happen today.

“Here,” you can just take this now. My feet are hurting,” you told him, swinging your bag around.

“Right… you should be wearing different shoes.”

For being a teenage boy, he sure was pretty observant and sensitive to other people.

You snorted, “Yeah, I plan on bringing it up.” Reaching into your bag, you pulled out a can of soup.

“The hell are you doing?” a voice sounded from up the stairs. And you froze to the spot, as did Anthony.

Turning your head, you saw Jared – the prick – coming down the stairs. He was not kind. You loathed him to be honest. His eyes were on the can of soup in your hand and they moved to your bag, where you were sure he was already believing there was more. Which there was.

He was on the same level as the pair of you now, towering over you. He spat down at you, “You giving shit to those ingrates? What do you think Negan is going to think about that?”

“It’s none of your damn business, Jared! Don’t you have something to be doing?”

Jared looked pissed at your response. “Yeah, my job is making sure bullshit isn’t going on around here. And this sure smells like bullshit to me!”

Forcing yourself to straighten up, you spat back, “If giving people food is bullshit, then I’m guilty.”

A flash of anger passed across Jared’s face. “Just because you’re Negan’s most prized possession –” Jared began, a sneer on her face.

“I’m not his MOST prized possession. My name ain’t Lucille,” you interjected.

“Being a smart ass as usual,” Jared continued to sneer. “He treats you bitches better than he treats his men!”

“Pussy must make him happier than a bunch of dicks,” you retorted. Jared clenched his jaw and you reached out to grab your bag but he held it out of your reach, glaring daggers at you. You sighed angrily, “Jared, stop being a prick. Give me my bag back!”

Jared shook his head, “I don’t think I will. I think Negan needs to hear a bit about your extracurricular activities and you breaking the rules!”

You reached out suddenly, grasping onto your bag. “You’re being a right, dick, Jared! You can tattle on me all you want but I want my shit back!”

Jared was furious that you were continuing fighting him. He pulled on your bag and you stumbled, losing your balance. You felt the loss of gravity as you fell backwards. The only way was further down. You landed on one stair before bouncing onto your side, hitting your head on the cement at the bottom.

Your world was spinning. You tried to raise your head but it brought a sharp pain. Gasping, you tried to catch your breath.

It had been a short stair case, maybe only five or six stairs. But, the impact was harsh.

<> <> <>

Anthony stared down at you wide eyed before moving his eyes up to Jared who was staring down at you, gaping like a fish, holding onto your bag still. He noticed Anthony’s presence again and Anthony was too quick.

He took off as Jared threw your bag onto the ground, fumbling to get his gun. But Anthony flew down the stairs and out of the room before Jared could get a shot off at him.

Jared would have left too if Mark and Joseph hadn’t come back inside from a round. They stopped, seeing Y/N.

“The fuck happened?” Mark immediately jumped in, rushing over to you. He crouched down beside you and saw the blood coming from your head. “Shit!” He looked up at Jared and his eyes zeroed in on your bag. “What the fuck happened?” When Jared didn’t immediately answer, Mark roared, “ANSWER ME, JARED!”

“I… she tripped…” Jared tried to get out, sputtering.

“Liar!” a voice came from the doorway.

Mark, Joseph, and Jared turned their attention to the doorway. Anthony was standing there, Dwight and Daryl on his heels. He had run to get them. Anthony looked scared but he was still standing his ground, staring directly at Jared. Jared’s expression hardened immediately.

Daryl shoved past Anthony into the room, rushing over towards you on the floor. He skidded to a stop, dipping down by you, cradling your head. He didn’t care that blood was getting on his hands.

Anthony had started in to Dwight as soon as Daryl had left their side. “He… he pushed her! She lost her balance! He… he was mad she was just giving me some extra cans of food! He held onto her bag and she fell down the stairs!”

“She needs a doctor!” Daryl growled at Mark who was still listening to Anthony.

“I think I could tell that, Daryl!” Mark snapped at him. Dwight had come over quickly to try to get Daryl away from you. He knew Negan wouldn’t like Daryl laying hands on you.

“That kid is a fucking liar!” Jared retorted back angrily, still standing at the top of the stairs.

“No, I’m not!” Anthony retaliated.

Jared looked pissed as Dwight said, “Honestly, Jared, I don’t give a fuck who is a liar right now.”

“Y/N?” Daryl asked desperately, trying to get you to focus your attention on him.

“Daryl?” you asked weakly.

“Jesus. Where does it all hurt?” Daryl asked, wiping the blood away from your eyes.

Dwight ordered, “Daryl, get out of the way. Joseph! Get your ass over here and pick her up! Take her to Carson!”

Joseph immediately jumped into action, picking you up from the ground.

Daryl looked savage as he stood up, all his anger and attention focused on Jared. Jared was still standing there looked both dumbfounded and terrified. He only noticed Daryl the second Daryl had come up the stairs and was on him. Daryl’s fist hit Jared straight in the jaw. He didn’t relent, following Jared as he stumbled and socked him again, the force of it slamming Jared up against the wall behind him.

“I’ll fucking kill you!” Daryl shouted, grabbing Jared by the collar. Dwight was there in a second, his arms wrapping around Daryl. “You’re dead!” Daryl snarled at Jared as Dwight struggled to pull him away.

Dwight continued struggling. Daryl was stronger than him. “CHRIST! MARK!” Dwight barked out, wanting his help. Mark was there and helped Dwight slam Daryl up against the wall.

“Calm your ass down!” Mark ordered Daryl. “Let’s go to Carson! Now!”

<> <> <>

You opened your eyes a little bit and heard a distorted voice, “Give her something for the pain!”

“I’m working as fast as I can!” another voice came. “I put pain killers in her IV.”

There was clamoring in the room and you swore you saw Daryl – or at least three of him – come in. Your vision was swimming, coming in and out. “She alright?”

Yes, you recognized his voice.

“Daryl?” you uttered.

“Y/N?” Daryl’s voice – what you believed was his voice at least, you might be hallucinating – was worried. You felt someone grab your hand but then someone telling them to leave you alone. The hand was gone, your hand cold again.

“I don’t know yet. You all need to get out of here! Sherry, hand me that!” That was Carson.

Before you knew it, you felt yourself drifting off.

<> <> <>

As soon as Negan pulled in with the trucks from Alexandria, Daryl and Dwight were there to meet him.

“Holy fuck that was like pulling fucking teeth!” Negan announced, hopping out of the cab of the truck. He immediately noticed the look on Daryl and Dwight’s faces, especially Daryl who looked like he could barely contain himself. “The fuck is wrong with the two of you?”

“There was an accident, Negan,” Dwight said, trying to sound calm.

Negan cocked his head to the side and demanded, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Jared pushed Y/N down the goddamn stairs!” Daryl cut in, not being able to contain himself.

For a split second, Negan looked pissed that Daryl had interrupted Dwight but when he registered what Daryl said, he changed completely. At once, Negan looked bloodthirsty. Dwight interjected hurriedly, catching Negan’s attention again, “Baby is fine, Negan. Carson has been monitoring her. She’s not bleeding. I mean, not at least from her… you know…And he said no internal bleeding. But, her head…” Negan rose his eyebrows, his eyes widening at that. “She hit her head pretty bad, man. He’s got her on some meds.”

Negan took this in before he whipped around. His chest heaving, Negan stared down the men who were waiting by, ready for his orders. They looked timid, having heard what Dwight and Daryl had told him. His expression hardened further, seeing them cower.

“Get this motherfucking shit unloaded right the fuck now! What the fucking fuck are you standing around for?” Negan bellowed at them. The men jumped into action, scrambling over each other to get away from his wrath.

Simon was standing there looking at Negan concerned. Negan held eye contact with him for a few seconds before whipping back around to address Dwight.

“She in the fucking infirmary?” Negan snarled at Dwight, getting close.

Dwight nodded, “Yes, sir.”

Negan shoved past Dwight, knocking into his shoulder, storming off towards the entrance to the Sanctuary.

<> <> <>

Negan burst into Carson’s office, startling him.

“The fuck she at, doc?” Negan demanded immediately.

“She’s sleeping,” Carson informed him quietly, nodding his head to a bed where you were laying.

Negan was at the bed side in a second. He saw your head was bandaged up, a blood spot on the bandage. He ran his hand through your hair, watching your chest move up and down, your eyes fluttering slightly.

“Fucking Christ!” Negan cursed, whipping back around to face Carson. He opened his mouth to say something but Carson jumped in immediately, reassuring him.

“Baby’s fine. I don’t see any sign of bleeding indicating a miscarriage or anything –”

“Yeah, I was told that! But what the fuck about her?”

“She didn’t hit her temple, which is a good thing.”

“She fucking hit something! Look at that shit!”

“Head injuries bleed a lot, Negan. It’s normal.” Negan let out an annoyed laugh, but Carson pressed on. “It’s stopped for the most part, that’s just from earlier. Just needed to apply pressure and gave her some meds to take the pain away and knock her out.”

“How bad is it?”

“I’m gonna keep her here overnight. Just to monitor that, keep up on the pain meds, and also keep watch on the baby.”

“Where’s Jared?” Negan growled at Dwight.

“Locked up,” Dwight told him. He noticed the look on Negan’s face and quickly added, “After he realized what he’d done, he tried to run.” Negan looked furious. “If that doesn’t spell out guilty…” Dwight trailed off. He then added, “He tried to blame it on a kid.”

Negan narrowed his eyes before spitting out, “What?”

“This kid. Anthony. Him and his mum –”

“Lisa,” Negan interrupted.

Dwight looked caught off guard for a second that Negan knew who it was and nodded, “Yeah, I guess. Uh, yeah. They work for points. Jared tried to blame it on Anthony.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a coward? I don’t know,” Dwight offered up, shrugging.

Negan wiped at his mouth furiously, his eyes flicking to your sleeping form. His eyes ran over you, an all too familiar feeling overcoming him about seeing someone he had feelings for in the hospital, bandaged up. He reached down, running his hand over your hair again, gently and slowly.

“She say anything?” he asked, his voice far calmer.

Dwight shot Daryl a quick look before shrugging, “Not much. She was just responding to voices she heard. She wasn’t conscious that much.”

“What you looking at him for?” Negan questioned, pointing at Daryl.

Throwing his arms out a little, Dwight said, “He was one of the voices she must have heard. Said his name. That’s it.”

Negan stared at Daryl intensely for a few seconds before he turned back towards Carson. “You tell me if anything changes. I’ve got something to deal with.”

<> <> <>

“Why were you running?”

Negan was standing at the doorway of Jared’s cell door. A cell similar to one Daryl had been stuck in before. Daryl was thankful he was able to witness this. He wanted retribution for Y/N.

Jared was cowering in the corner. He had pushed himself up off the floor when he had seen Negan, but was keeping his distance, looking timid. He knew he was fucked.

“I-I-I messed up,” Jared got out, forcing himself to keep eye contact with Negan. He knew Negan hated cowardice but he was having a hard time being brave at the moment.

“It’s cause you have no guts. You couldn’t even man up to your goddamn fucking mistake and face me.” The words dropped off Negan’s tongue like acid. He adjusted, swinging Lucille once before placing the end of her back on the ground. Jared’s eyes were zeroed in on her. He had seen Negan use her countless time but never fathomed he might be on the receiving end. Negan drew his attention again.

“Not only did you hurt one of my ladies,” his voice dropped dangerously. “Not to mention you could have FUCKING killed her!” He let out a grunt before rubbing his chin angrily. He got in Jared’s face, pointing, “You could have also killed my goddamn kid!”

Jared sputtered, “I’m sorry, Negan. I was just trying to stop her –”

“Stop her from what?” Negan demanded.

“She was giving some of her food to some kid who works for points.”

This news caught Negan’s attention and for a second, Jared thought maybe his luck had changed. But the moment was quick and gone.

“So, you thought that fucking pushing her damn the down stairs was the answer for –”

Jared interrupted quickly, “No, Negan, I –”

“DON’T!” Negan shouted and Jared cowered back. “Interrupt me!” Negan took a couple of deep breaths before pressing on. “You thought pushing her down the stairs – or whatever it was that fucking happened – was the answer? Harming her was your FUCKING BRILLIANT solution.”

“I… I didn’t mean to, man…” Jared looked close to tears and Negan’s expression was as hard as ever. Jared sputtered, “P-p-please don’t kill me, Negan.”

“Right now, I’m not thinking about killing you.” Jared looked shocked, moving his eyes back up to meet Negan’s. “Someone’s – or something’s – gonna kill you.” The hope that had been in Jared’s eyes was extinguished quickly. “But right now, I’m not thinking about it being me doing the honors. As much satisfaction as I would get out of that.”

Negan stood up, straightening out his jacket. The look on his face was hateful, harsh.

“I’m gonna let you brew on that for a little bit. I’m a pretty creative man so I’m sure your brain can run wild,” Negan spat out before turning around and slamming the cell door closed behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

Carson had watched you over night. You had woken him up when you began shifting and tried getting out of bed. He had jumped up, immediately instructing you to lay back down because you were not stable to walk yet most likely. You were feeling light headed although Carson had assured you the only thing they had given you – after making an educated guess that you didn’t have a concussion even though they couldn’t know for sure – was Tylenol and medicine to numb you a bit from the pain as he stitched up your head. There was a cut on your head just beyond your hairline. Nothing too serious.

He walked back over with some water, handing it to you. He was rubbing his eyes, seeming tired just like you.

“What happened to Anthony?” you asked, taking the glass from him.

“You remember what happened?”

“Yeah. Jared was a fucking asshole,” you muttered before taking a long swig. You caught Carson smirk quickly at this before it faded just as quickly. “What about Anthony?”

“He’s fine.”

You finished off the water and asked, “How long have I been in here?”

“Just over night. I asked Negan to let me keep you in here. It’s still early judging by the clock. It’s about 5:15am. You should lay back down and I’ll go let Negan know you’re up.”

Nodding, you did as he asked and he took the glass from you. “I feel tired.”

“I would imagine so. I’m still going to want to monitor you. Although I don’t think you have a concussion, I’m still going to be careful about it.”

“Thanks.”

Carson nodded before turning towards the door and leaving you alone.

<> <> <>

You had barely drifted off to sleep before you heard the door open and your eyes snapped open, your instincts about being caught in sleep kicking in. You turned your head quickly seeing Negan enter the room. Carson must have been waiting outside, giving the pair of you privacy.

Negan pulled up a chair next to your bed and sat down looking at you.

“You alright?” he asked you, sounding concerned.

You nodded, “Except for this giant ass cut on my head.”

“Smartass,” Negan scoffed quietly and you gave him a slight smile. “The hell happened?”

Pausing for a second, you thought about how to phrase it and Negan added, “I know you were giving your food away.”

“Right…”

“So, what happened?”

“Jared saw me doing it.”

“And?”

“And he got mad I was doing it. And grabbed my bag and I lost my balance because he kept trying to tug it from me when I asked for it back. I fell down the stairs and hit my head. Mark and Daryl and Dwight were there. That’s the last I remember.”

Negan was quiet, listening to you. When you finished, he licked his lips, before turning his eyes to the ground.

“I don’t mean to lecture you right now,” he started out. “But, you showing favoritism and giving out food that I have specifically given to you? Especially when you need to be eating more? I’m not okay with that.”

“He’s just a kid,” you said quietly.

“Yeah, I get it. He’s a kid. And food is scarce. But, doesn’t erase the fact I can’t have people finding out one of my wives is a fucking goddamn food bank and start coming to you, demanding for shit. Or asking any of the other women for things. Puts them in a bad position as well as me. It’s a break in my system and I can’t let it go on. Things happen for a reason here. Rules are in place for a reason here. You understand me?”

You forced yourself to nod.

“I catch you – or someone else catches you – giving food away again, I’m not gonna be as fucking nice as I am being right now. You understand me?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

A silence fell between the two of you for a moment before Negan asked, “Do you feel alright otherwise?”

Again, you nodded.

“Fucking scared me half to death,” Negan admitted to you. “Get back from a fucking run and hear you got pushed down some goddamn stairs. Not like you went and planned the shit but fuck, sweetheart.”

“Where’s Jared?” you asked him.

Negan swallowed sharply and said, “Right where he needs to be.”

“Which is?”

“Don’t worry about it. He’s not dead.” You said nothing and Negan asked, “You want him dead?” You shook your head and he chuckled a little. “Of course you don’t. You’re not like that.”

“I’ve wanted people dead,” you informed him. “And I’ve killed them. What Jared did was a small slight compared to what other people have done to me.”

Negan studied you for a moment before informing you, “It may have been slight to you but it wasn’t to me. Shit was big. Real goddamn big. Fucking with you. Fucking with that baby. And fucking trying to steal shit from me? That’s… that’s not small. Not at fucking all.”

“What did he steal?”

“Some shit when he tried to run after he realized what he did to you. He’s a goddamn coward.”

You let this information sink in, falling quiet. The silence grew between the pair of you. Negan was watching you intently. There was nothing scrutinizing about his gaze… more caring. He really had been shook up by it. And he was watching you with tenderness. Something you had not seen in his eyes this intensely as of yet.

And just as quickly as it came, the moment was gone.

“Which reminds me, I do have some business to attend to with him,” Negan mentioned before pushing his chair back with a squeak. “I’ll be back later. You get some rest. Drink water. Do whatever the fuck Carson tells you. You hear me?” You nodded yet again. Negan nodded and leaned down, giving you a kiss on your forehead. He lingered for a few seconds longer than normal, losing himself in the moment against your skin, before abruptly pulling away and turning on his heel. He seemed to shake the feeling he had felt moments ago quite quickly.

“Don’t get into any more trouble while I’m gone,” he ordered you before opening the door and walking out of the room.

The realization had hit you full force now. You had been guessing at it for a while but it was clear now. Negan had developed feelings for you. Real ones.

This whole thing was getting you in further than you thought you would have gone.

<> <> <>

Negan tore the bag from Jared’s head and stood in front of him with a wide smile on his face. Negan had brought Jared out to a field they had stumbled upon weeks beforehand, finding a pit full of walkers. Someone else must have made it but Negan had made a mental note to remember where it was. And now, it was seeming to pay off.

Jared was breathing heavily, not knowing what to expect. He focused in on Negan the second he was able to blink the sun from his eyes.

“Jared. Glad you’re back with us. Heard you were talking your ass off trying to plead with Dwight and Daryl.”

“Negan, please. I’m –”

“ANYWAY,” Negan cut in, interrupting him. “Brought you out here for a reason. Now, I’ve had a day or so to think about how I wanted to deal with your situation. And I found the perfect solution. Well… perfect for me. Not so much you. You’ve got a choice though about how this situation plays out.” Negan threw his hands out and asked, “So, your choice. Do you want Simon to cut off one of your limbs and let you bleed out here while I watch. Or do you want to go meet my new friends down in that pit? And I’ll still watch.”

“What the hell?” Jared asked, his voice wavering, hearing the walkers down in the pit.

Negan looked beyond amused by this. He shrugged and leaned on Lucille. “Told ya I wasn’t gonna kill you.” He jerked his head back towards the pit. “Go take a look.” Jared swallowed sharply and didn’t move. Negan’s expression darkened and he said in a low voice, “That part wasn’t a place where you made a choice.”

Jared moved towards the pit slowly, looking scared. When he reached a place close to the edge, he leaned forward slightly, taking a quick look before retreating quickly.

His eyes were wild when he looked back at Negan. “Negan! Please!”

“Man, shut the fuck up and take it like a goddamn man. Take your pick.”

“You’re doing this to me? After everything I’ve done for you?” Negan mock pondered what Jared was saying and shrugged. He couldn’t seem to be bothered by Jared’s pleading and arguments. Something snapped in Jared seeing this dismissal from Negan and he countered, “I have done a lot for you! I don’t deserve this!”

“I’d have to disagree. In case it slipped your fucking mind, let me reiterate to you what got you in this position. First, you hurt Y/N. And by extension could have hurt my kid. That alone would have had you in some deep fucking shit with me. But, to add a cherry on top, YOU tried to run. Not to mention before grabbing some supplies –”

“It was a couple of cans of food,” Jared sputtered.

“Not to mention before grabbing SOME supplies!” Negan repeated, emphasizing his words and raising his voice a bit.

“I’m sorry, Negan,” Jared tried.

“Cool fucking story, dude. I’m glad to hear it,” Negan responded and stood up straight. “So, what’s the choice here?”

Jared snapped, “So, Dwight can apologize for stealing a bunch of shit and you elevate him to a high ass position! But I apologize and you’re still going to kill me!?”

Dwight cocked his head, looking at Jared with an incredulous look on his face. Before he could say anything, Negan moved closer to Jared, staring him down. “There a few things that worked in Dwight’s favor that are not working in yours Jared. Not that I have to explain myself but just so I have a clear conscience – or as clear as it fucking can be at this point – let me explain that to you. Firstly,” he held up a finger and counted as he went. “Dwight here fucking did what he did not for his own selfish fucking goddamn needs. Unlike you. Secondly, Dwight here was begging me to kill him instead of someone else. More selflessness in his favor. Thirdly, Dwight wasn’t fucking with my kid. Fourthly –” Negan leaned in closer to Jared, his tone firm. “And, Jared, buddy… I want you to hear me real loud and fucking clear on this one. Fourthly, Dwight meant it when he apologized to me.” Jared opened his mouth to protest and Negan pressed on quickly and forcefully, “Nope! Don’t want to hear anymore fake ass, lame ass, empty ass apologies from you. You’ve proven what kind of man you are. It’s all I need to know.”

Leaning back again, Negan rose his eyebrows, “I’m getting real impatient though. I’m gonna have Simon choose for me what you’re going to do if you don’t give me an answer quickly.”

“That bitch was stealing shit too! What are you doing to her? Oh, right, probably nothing! Because she opens her legs to you!” Jared snarled back at him, not giving a shit anymore because he knew he was dead either way.

Daryl stepped forward a bit, looking furious and Dwight held out his hand, shooting him a pissed off look. Jared didn’t notice, all of his attention and anger directed at Negan.

“Y/N wasn’t stealing shit. That was hers to give away. Course I am mad she was choosing to not eat as much as she should, considering her state. But, like I said, she wasn’t stealing fucking shit,” Negan replied, his voice eerily calm. He slid his eyes to Simon and gave him a curt nod.

Simon began advancing on Jared quickly and Jared tried to put his hands up and fight back but Simon kicked him back into the pit. He recovered quickly in the pit, jumping to action, screaming as the walkers began grabbing at his feet. He pushed himself up, scurrying back against the wall.

Dwight looked uncomfortable watching it as Jared dodged in between the walkers in the pit.

Negan was looking satisfied. He exhaled loudly before taking a swig of his water.

“You’re gonna sit here and watch this?” Dwight asked Negan, giving him a wary look as Jared screamed out as walkers began tearing into him. Simon shot Dwight a look, surprised he was questioning Negan on this.

“Gotta make sure the fucker doesn’t get away,” Negan responded, seeming unfazed at Dwight’s blatant dislike for the situation. But, of course, nothing got by him. Negan turned his head to look at Dwight and asked with a wide smile, “This making you queasy, Dwighty-Boy?”

Dwight responded honestly, “A little.”

Negan gave a nod, “There’s that honesty I love in you.” He paused before adding, “You wanna step back, that’s fine. It’s not something enjoyable to watch.” He stood up straight. “Here, I’ll join you.” Noticing Daryl standing back away from the pit, watching the edge intently, Negan regarded him. “And Daryl can join us too.” This caught Daryl’s attention. “Daryl doesn’t seem to like it either.”

“I don’t,” Daryl responded before adding, “But I think he deserved it.”

A wide smile grew on Negan’s face. He pointed at Daryl, “You don’t gotta love it but you understand it.” He called to Simon over the sound of the walkers, “You got this?” Simon nodded and Negan said, “Alright. Dwight. Daryl. Eric. We got some shit to do. I usually send some poor fuckers in other places to do my scavenging for me but this one is pretty specific.”

.

You were sitting on a staircase leading up from the women’s room towards the tower were Negan and his men had their rooms reading a book. Carson had let you go late in the afternoon, making you promise that you would take it easy and drink a lot of water and come to him immediately if anything felt off.

The girls had welcomed you back, preening over you and trying to take care of you. You had put up with it for a little bit, letting Sherry find you a clean dress to get into. The largest size that Negan had scavenged for them was going to be too small on you soon. He would have to find something else for you to start wearing. Your bump was only going to get bigger.

After awhile, you had excused yourself, much to their worry. You assured them you would be close by and just wanted some time alone. Sherry had shooed them away, allowing you to escape.

You were not hard to find and when Negan came back, he did have no trouble finding you.

“Seems an uncomfortable place for your ass after a little bit,” he mentioned to you as you closed your book when you saw him approaching.

“I haven’t been here long.”

“Right. I know how you lose yourself in those things,” he told you before holding out the bags he was carrying.

Negan handed you a few bags. When you peered inside, you were surprised at what you found. There were baby clothes, supplies, and a few toys inside of them.

“You can’t know the sex yet,” you told him.

“I’m not fucking stupid, Y/N,” Negan chuckled and you turned your gaze to meet his. “I don’t know what the fuck is all in there. But there’s some girly shit and some boy shit and some in between shit. And to be honest, I really don’t think a baby is going to give a crap what you’re dressing it in as long as it’s well fed and gets some human contact. The only people who seem to have an issue with the clothing are the adults around the little fucking thing.”

“You didn’t strike me as a social justice warrior,” you quipped, looking into the next bag.

“I don’t think there’s anything about justice in that statement. It’s just common goddamn sense.”

You acknowledged this with an affirming nod before pulling out a bottle. You sighed, “What if I need a pump…” This statement was more to yourself than him but he responded anyway.

“The fuck you need a pump for?”

“Sometimes babies don’t breastfeed well and you need to pump in order for the milk to come in. Or I might not be able to bring the milk in naturally so you need to use one.”

Negan scrunched his nose before saying, “Fine. Write that down on something and give it to me. Make up a list of whatever.”

“Like maternity clothes?”

“You planning on getting bigger?” Negan asked, a smile playing on his lips. You shot him an annoyed look and he chuckled, “Sweetheart, I’m just fucking joking with you.”

Looking back down in the bags, you felt a little tug on your heart. He did seem invested in this. And he had been extremely concerned with you. It had been playing on your mind all day. Regardless of the fact that you hated what he did to your group and what he had done to your friends, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt knowing you had planned to fuck him over. You had found yourself in a grey area.

And another thing you hadn’t got off your mind since this morning was Jared.

“What did you do to Jared?” you questioned again.

Negan rose his eyebrows, “What makes you think I did something to Jared?”

“One, you told me you were going to deal with him –”

“I said business. Not deal.”

You narrowed your eyes slightly and said, “Is there a difference?”

He gave you a sheepish shrug, “No, probably not.”

Pushing on, you added, “And you seem… calmer now. Too calm.”

“Aren’t you the observant little thing?” Negan crooned and he ran his eyes over you. Shrugging, he offered, “Fucker got what he deserved.”

“You killed him.”

“ _I_ didn’t do shit,” Negan said with a wide smile. “Didn’t lay a hand on him.”

You licked your lips before rephrasing, “He’s dead then.”

“In a sense.”

You knew what had happened to Jared then and you closed your eyes, turning your head down.

You felt Negan move in front of you and he was closer now, his breath louder and you could feel it on your skin. You felt his fingers under your chin as he tilted your head up to look up at him. Opening your eyes, you found him crouching down in front of you, staring you directly into eyes.

“Like I told you earlier, what he did wasn’t a slight to me,” Negan started. “I did what I had to to quell my anger and frustration. I have a clear conscious about it. And I’m sorry if you don’t agree with it. I’m not gonna give you some bullshit that ‘I did this for you’ because, if I did what you wanted, this wouldn’t have happened. I did this for me. Because I didn’t like what he did to you. You have no control over his actions. Or mine. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

You studied him and he did the same in return.

“I’m settled about it now,” Negan continued. “And you can choose to dwell on it or move on. I would suggest moving on because like I said you can’t control what he did. It was out of your control. You understand that?”

“Yeah.”

Negan nodded, “Good. You’re good, sweetheart. I love it about you despite the fact I told you I can’t trust ya with people.” He stood up, letting his hand fall from your face. He reached down, grabbing the bags. “I’ll take these upstairs.”

“I can do –”

“I got it. Go back to your story.”

He started making his way up the stairs and you turned your head to look up at him as he began to ascend the stairs.

“Negan,” you started. He paused, looking back down at you. You didn’t know what compelled you to do so, considering his violent side wasn’t definitely in the top three things you didn’t like about his personality. But, you thanked him. “Thank you.” Your voice was quiet.

You weren’t just thanking him for Jared. You were thanking him for the baby things. And for caring.

Whatever level he took that on, he seemed slightly taken aback by it before recovering quickly.

He gave you a quick nod. “Nothing but the best for you, sweetheart.” He threw you a quick smirk before continuing up the stairs.


	12. Chapter 12

You were sitting at the table eating in the dining hall with Sherry and Amber. Negan was across the room with some of his men, eating as well.

Something stirred in you, a new feeling you had not felt yet. It startled you and you gasped suddenly, you hand going immediately to your stomach.

Sherry stopped eating and demanded, “What?”

Hesitating, you rubbed your stomach a little before saying sounding in disbelief, “I think… I think the baby just moved.”

You were 18 weeks at this point at least. It should be happening now. Although, Carson had told you that since it was your first pregnancy, it might not be until later. But, the baby seemed like it was ready to go quicker than expected.

Amber was interested instantly upon hearing what you said. She put her spoon down and immediately scooted closer to you. “How do you mean?”

“I felt it. Something was moving. It felt like someone running fingers down my stomach from the inside.”

“Can I?” Amber asked excitedly, and you nodded, moving your hand out of the way. She placed her hand there and waited.

“I don’t know if it’ll do it again,” you admitted to her. She gave you a quick smile before focusing again, trying to detect any movement. She was determined, and you realized right then and there that this was something she wanted for herself. You knew she would prefer it not with Negan – she had confided as much, and you wouldn’t betray her trust on that. But, she had hinted before being pregnant was something she wanted. Sherry had moved her hand there as well, waiting too.

You felt it move again and a second later Amber let out an excited noise, halfway to a screech, loud enough to catch some of the men’s attention. The three of you weren’t paying any attention to them in return though.

“You feel that?” you asked her, unable to keep the excitement out of your voice.

Amber nodded, “Just barely!” She was grinning from ear to ear. The three of you were tittering on about it.

Negan was at the table immediately, towering over the three of you. “The fuck is going on?” Amber hadn’t noticed him approach from behind her and she jumped back in her seat, her hand falling from your abdomen.

“The baby is moving,” Sherry told Negan happily, her hand still resting on your stomach.

Negan exhaled, sounding relieved, and was like, “Fuck! The way you were going on I thought something was fucking wrong!”

“Couldn’t you see smiles on our faces?” Sherry asked him, raising an eyebrow and Negan in return cocked his head to the side, clicking his tongue at her. Sherry didn’t back down, still staring back at him.

Amber tried to dispel the tension between the two of them, gesturing at you. “It might move again, Negan.” Negan turned his eyes to her and she scooted her chair away from you, making room for him to get towards you.

Negan regarded her for a second before saying, “Well, I hope the baby is gonna fucking move again, Amber. It would be a bad thing if it didn’t.”  
  
Amber’s face fell immediately, and you instantly narrowed your eyes at Negan, who met your eyes. He noticed the look on your face and rose his eyebrows. “Yes?”

“You don’t have to be rude,” you informed him, looking back down at your plate and picking up your fork again.

Negan closed his eyes, inhaling deeply before clearing his throat. He walked closer to you in between you and Amber, peering down his nose at you before turning his head to look at Amber. Throwing his hands out a little bit, he stated, “I’m sorry, baby.” Amber gave him a nod.

He crouched down next to you and reached out, placing his hand on your abdomen. “You alright, now?”

A cheap apology to Amber was the best you believed you were going to get. It was a rare thing that Negan gave out to begin with. Cheap or not, he had done it. Reigning in your attitude, you responded, “Yes.”

“Good,” Negan responded, his hand still laying on you. He gave you an affectionate rub before standing up straight again. “Glad the baby is healthy.” You nodded, and he squeezed your shoulder before walking off.

<> <> <>

You found yourself leaning against a wall later, Daryl with you. He had approached you in passing and waited until the hall was clear before he started talking to you.

“I talked to Gabriel last time I was there.”

You gave him a surprised look and asked, “Really? How… how did you get alone with him?”

“Negan was distracted with Rick.”

“Figures,” you mumbled.

Daryl stepped closer and said, “Gabriel wants you to come back.” You furrowed your brow and he added, “To get the baby baptized.”

“Why?”

“To get you back there. And then he was talking about sneaking you off and out of Alexandria. Placing you somewhere else. And then they’ve been working with the Hilltop and the Kingdom, another community.” He paused trying to gauge your reaction. You knew what he was getting at but you restrained from saying anything. Daryl leaned in and told you softly, “They could take on the Sanctuary.”

You stared at Daryl and asked him seriously, “Daryl, do you honestly think Negan would one, let me out of his sight and two, even take me back to Alexandria in the first place?”

“It was just something Gabriel said. I was just running it by you.” You couldn’t help but notice the expression on his face. He looked saddened by your lack of enthusiasm on the matter.

Sighing, you started, “Daryl –”

Daryl interrupted you, “And I’m sorry. I know it was impossible. I just… I liked the idea of you going away. And being somewhere else that was safer than this. And where we…” He trailed off, looking down at the ground.

You two always seemed to come back to this. And it didn’t make it any easier no matter how many times it happened.

You couldn’t help but to ask, “And where we would what?”

“Could be together,” Daryl admitted quietly. He continued, getting closer, whispering, “And I know that that plan sounds impossible and like it won’t work. But, why not even give it a try? That would kill me to know that we didn’t even try! We always try.”

“You… you can’t do this to me,” you whispered, tears forming in your eyes.

“I’ve stayed here with you. I’ve done everything for us,” Daryl started again.

Interrupting him, you asked, “What am I going to do if it does work out?”

“Hide,” Daryl told you firmly. Chewing on your lip, you stared down at the ground. “Y/N?”

You blurted out, “What about Negan?”

Daryl furrowed his brow, looking confused. “What about him?”

He was asking you to leave and risk what you had here. Even if it wasn’t a lot, you had managed to build something comfortable. And you had both him and Negan here. It felt selfish of you to feel that way and you knew it. And you also knew it was stupid of you to have feelings for Negan in the first place. God, if you hadn’t run it through your head a million times. He’d killed your family. He had stolen Daryl. He’d taunted Rick. Taken supplies from your family. He’d used you against Rick simply because he thought it was a power play.

Yet, you couldn’t help it. And a part of you hated it because you had always scolded people who did this type of thing. Falling for someone who was this problematic.

All you knew was that your feelings for him were growing and in the situation you had found yourself in, pursing that was the best for everyone else involved. And until someone else found something else better to counter it, you were going to stick with it.

Deep down you hoped that Negan’s growing attachment to you would help quell a future fight – if there was to be one. If you asked him to reconsider, you hoped your words would hold some weight with him. You hoped. And you hoped you had the chance to find out. You had been sent here to do a job and even though you had fallen in far deeper than you had imagined, you were going to see it through.

But seeing it through now meant that you needed Negan around. Not only for the plan to see it through. But also for you.

“Don’t kill him,” you finally got out.

Daryl stared at you flabbergasted and you felt heat creeping up your neck at revealing this intimacy you felt for him to anyone, especially him.

“Are you serious?” Daryl got out. He looked crestfallen.

You stepped closer, pleading quietly with him, “I love you, Daryl. I love you so much. I know you know I do.” The look in his eyes confirmed this claim for you. “I’ve known for a while and I couldn’t tell you. But… this is bigger than me. This is bigger than my feelings.”

Daryl swallowed sharply and demanded, “Your feelings for what?”

“For you.”

“And?” Daryl asked, sensing there was something more.

You shifted uncomfortably and said, “And Negan.”

His expression was almost unreadable. You couldn’t tell if he was disgusted, angry, or sad. Or a mixture of all of them. “You like him,” was all he said to you.

“You can’t expect me to not grow something towards him after all this time and… intimacy we have shared.” You blushed slightly at this.

Daryl chewed on his cheeks for a moment and then admitted, “No.”

“Really?” You were actually surprised.

“I know people are complicated,” Daryl informed you quietly. He suddenly looked upset again and shook his head. “Just… just be with me.”

“Daryl,” you choked out. “If I have his kid and then I say I want to leave him for you? How do you think that’s gonna work?”

Daryl stepped closer and demanded, “Do you love him?”

You couldn’t say no and you couldn’t tell him yes either. You offered, “I don’t know.”

“That’s nothing to go off of. You said you loved me.”

“I do love you.”

Looking frustrated, Daryl rubbed his mouth, looking deep in thought. “Then why be with him when you can’t figure it out but you’ve got it figured out with me?”

“Because if I do what I know, you’ll get fucked.” Daryl stared you down and you pressed on, “You’ve seen what happens to men who fuck Negan over. He likes me. Fuck, he might even love me. You take me away from him – because that’s all he’s gonna see -- ? He’s not gonna like that. And I don’t want you hurt.”

“You don’t have to keep worrying about me, Y/N. You keep putting yourself in these situations with him!”

You choked out, “I’m sorry.”

Daryl looked at you, studying you intensely. He wasn’t saying anything to you.

Finally, he told you firmly, “I’m not going to leave you.”

This broke your heart. Coming from someone who had faced so much abuse and rejection in their life, he was going to take more from you. You didn’t deserve him.

You informed him, “I wish you would.”

He met your gaze. “What?”

“I don’t want you sticking around when you hate this place for no reason.”

“I have a reason.”

The look in his eyes when he looked at you was real.

And you again felt guilty. You felt the same way but you had to stand your ground on this.

You reached up, cupping his face. “Daryl, you’re worth something. I know… I feel you don’t think you are. But… you have purpose. You protect people. You’ve done so much for our group. Rick has probably been missing you sick. As well as everyone else.” You could see tears swimming in Daryl’s eyes. “You’re invaluable to have around. You care so deeply and stick your neck out for people. You’re amazing.”

“And yet… here we are,” Daryl got out. He looked heart broken.

Your heart broke for him and for you.

“Here we are…”

A silence fell between the two of you, you still cupping his face.

“I love you, Daryl Dixon. And fuck, if… if things had gone differently, I would have asked you to marry me myself. I can’t lie and say I don’t want that anymore because I do. I really do.” You swallowed sharply, still staring deep into his eyes. “I’m never going to get over you.”

“The world just isn’t fucking fair,” Daryl said quietly, a single tear falling.

Your lips met his and you kissed him deeply. Daryl responded with fervor, his hands wrapping up around your face, pulling you close to him. The two of you stayed like this for a few moments, lost in each other. And just as quickly it was done, the pair of you remembering your predicament.

Reaching up again, your fingers touched his face, tracing his jawline. You agreed with him in a quiet voice, “The world isn’t fair.”

There were a few moments of silence shared between the two of you again before Daryl spoke up, his tone firm.

“I’m still going to stay.”

You choked on a sob and forced a smile quickly after, trying to quell your sadness. Of course he was going to stay. You hadn’t expected any less from him. No matter what type of heartbreak or revelation you threw at him. You knew he knew that you cared for him and that you believed what you were doing, you thought was best for everyone involved.

Yes, you believed what you were doing would benefit the group. But too, your desire for Negan would be satisfied with this as well as your need for Daryl. You were selfish.

Daryl was loyal.

“I’m not leaving. No matter what happens. I’m here to protect you,” Daryl told you firmly before pulling away from you and walking off. Leaving you alone in the hallway.

What did you do to deserve him?

<> <> <>

Daryl turned the corner and came face to face with Dwight. Daryl immediately stopped, tensing up. The look on Dwight’s face told him all he needed to know about how long Dwight had been there and what he had heard – and saw.

There were a few intense moments of them staring at each other before Daryl opened his mouth to say something, but Dwight cut him off.

“I’m not going to say anything.”

Daryl couldn’t hide the shock on his face. But he didn’t believe Dwight.

Dwight seemed to catch onto that. He cleared his throat, straightening up. “I still love Sherry. I meet her. To talk.” He quickly added the last part. He chewed on his lip for a moment, watching Daryl’s reaction. “I keep it to just talking. It’s not a lot but it’s enough.”

Still Daryl said nothing.

Dwight leaned in a bit. “I said I wouldn’t say nothing. Now. But… you don’t keep it to just talking…” He trailed off, letting his meaning still be known. Daryl exhaled, raising his head, his expression softening enough to not look as threatening anymore. It was the only acknowledgement Dwight was going to get from him and Dwight knew it. So he took it.

Clearing his throat again, Dwight added quietly, “It’s a tough decision to make. But you’ve seem to done alright about it so far.” And with that, he turned on his heel and walked off.

<> <> <>

You woke up, feeling something touching you. On a gut reaction, you woke up with a start, ready to fight.

Negan’s hand was on your stomach and he immediately retracted it when he noticed you looking at him. He looked startled by your reaction and you calmed seeing it was him and not someone – or something – else touching you. You let out a sharp exhale before a short, small amused noise left you.

“What are you doing?” you asked him, your tone light.

He looked uncomfortable answering you, giving a jutted shrug.

“Just… feeling.”

It only took you a second to catch what he was meaning, and your heart melted a little. Earlier, in front of all of his men, he acted like it hadn’t mattered when you, Sherry, and Amber had told him that the baby had moved. But here he was now, in the middle of the night, trying to feel for himself. Trying to get a connection to the little thing the two of you shared moving around in you.

The last thing you wanted to do was shame him for that. You craved for him to show this type of attachment to the baby. And in relation, to you. You had made a choice earlier and this was confirming that even though you would always be torn, that you had made a choice that wasn’t in vain.

You gave him a nod. “Okay,” you said simply. He looked confused as to what to do. Somewhat perplexed by your nonchalant reaction to it.

The poor guy, you thought to yourself. You knew he had had a wife before this. You wondered if they had had kids together, although you knew it was better not to ask. Maybe he didn’t have any experience with this and maybe he did. But what you did know was that he did not have experience being soft or tender. Something he rarely showed you. And you had caught him in one of those moments when he thought you were asleep. You didn’t want him to feel ashamed for it.

“Maybe your touch will make it move,” you added quietly before laying back down.

You waited, seeing if he would react. A few moments passed, and he hadn’t moved. Sighing to yourself, you knew you had to let him know it was alright and that you weren’t bothered by it. Reaching behind you, you grabbed his hand gently. When he didn’t resist, you pulled it to you, and placed it on your stomach.

Cuddling back down, you moved up against him, snuggling in close.

“You’ll make it feel as safe as you make me feel,” you murmured.

Negan said nothing, but you felt his breath on your neck. Yet, you could feel his posture relax, becoming comfortable with the position. You closed your eyes, your hand resting over top of his as you drifted off to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

“You’ll need help getting up soon,” Amber laughed a little, looking down at your stomach. At six months, you were starting to really show.

You snorted and nodded. “I need to stop looking at myself in the mirror.” You snuck a look at your hands that you were keeping folded up in your lap. They had been swollen this morning and you hadn’t been able to bring it up to Negan because he had left early to go meet the men working on making bullets.

Sherry shot you a look and said, “I think you still look beautiful.”

Smiling at her, you insisted, “People feel obligated to say that to pregnant women because they don’t want to hurt pregnant women’s feelings. I look like an elephant. Or at least approaching that stage.”

Sherry rolled her eyes and disagreed, “I think there really is a bit of beauty in growing life.” You rose your eyebrows and gave her a knowing look. “I do!”

Interrupting the two of you, Amber commented, “At least they found you some cute maternity dresses.”

“Like Negan would allow her to wear a potato sack of a dress,” Sherry replied, going along with the subject change. You smiled but looked down at your hands again. Sherry noticed this time and furrowed her brow immediately. “What’s wrong? Why are your hands swollen?”

You snuck a look down at your feet and mumbled, “My feet are too.”

Unlike Sherry, Amber didn’t look that concerned. She leaned forward looking at your hands closely and your feet before inquiring, “Doesn’t that normally happen?”

“Not your hands usually,” Sherry told Amber and then said, “And even if it normally happens elsewhere, you should have it checked out. They weren’t like that yesterday.” You looked at her worriedly and she quickly added, “I am sure it’s an easy fix. And it’s nothing bad. But just to make sure. Come on.”

Following her off the couch, you stood up and went after her.

From behind the two of you, Amber threw her magazine down and got up as well. “I want to come,” Amber immediately said. She fell in tandem behind the pair of you, following the two of you out of the room and towards the elevator.

<> <> <>

Negan walked up the stairs with Dwight towards the wives’ room, readying to drop off a bag of new dresses for them. Dwight was of course carrying the bag, Negan following alongside carrying Lucille. He whistled while they ascended the stairs, joyful considering how well production was going for the bullets. He decided to unload the bag of dresses on the wives early. He had been keeping it for a later time but he was in a good mood and felt like giving them a gift.

Upon reaching the floor, Negan asked Dwight seriously, “How do you think we are doing, D?”

“With what?” Dwight asked, slightly confused.

Negan gestured around, “With rebuilding society.”

Dwight pondered on how to respond for a few moments before saying, “You’re leading well. You’ve taught us to lead well. Of course there are some fuck ups but that’s expected in trying to make something work.”

“Is it a good place to raise a kid?”

This question caught Dwight by surprise for a second. “Um… I mean the whole damn world is dangerous isn’t it? This place is more secure than others.”

Negan looked contemplative, not answering him.

Dwight felt like he knew what Negan was getting at. Negan had been talking more and more – off handedly and also not straight forward – about his baby. The closer it got to the date, the more Negan seemed to be letting on he was concerned about it.

Clearing his throat, Dwight added, “Soon you’ll have a small baby that looks like you – and more than likely will act like you too – running around. And if it’s anything like you, I think it’ll be fine.”

Negan smiled a little at the thought of it as he rounded the corner into the wives’ room. Upon entering, the girls straightened up, making themselves look presentable as always. There were missing bodies that he noticed right off the bat.

He threw his hands out a bit, demanding of the whole room, “Where are Sherry, Amber, and Y/N?” Negan demanded, looking around the room. His eyes landed on Natasha.

“They went down to see Carson.”

“For?” Negan inquired, sounding annoyed.

Natasha shrugged and said, “Y/N was swelling up or something.”

“The fuck you mean swelling up?”

“Her hands and feet. Sherry and Amber took her down. They haven’t come back yet.”

Negan inhaled deeply before snapping, “Christ! Dwight, just leave that bag. Girls, look through this and find dresses. Share them. You’re going to be all sharing them anyway. But, just pick out the ones you think you’ll all wear.”

And with that, he left the room.

<> <> <>

“I think it’s preeclampsia,” Carson informed Negan.

The trio of you had just finished discussing it with Carson when Negan had burst into the room looking for the three of you. Carson had not taken long to diagnose what was going on with you. You were having higher blood pressure than normal which meant an excess of protein. He said it was treatable. You just needed a few days to get balanced again. And after that, you would need to monitor it closely.

“It can be serious but since she came here immediately, I can get it under control.”

“The hell is it?”

“High blood pressure,” Carson explained to him. “It happens with some women. She will be alright. I’m helping her get it down with some meds that we have on hand.”

“Do we need more of those meds?” Negan asked, his voice tight.

Carson shrugged, “It would not hurt if you did find some to replace the ones we are using. We might have someone coming in who has chronic high blood pressure and they made need them.”

Negan shook his head before saying, his voice tight, “I meant for her.”

“I have enough for her. But like I said, if you want to replenish it, that’s probably smart.” Negan just gave a curt nod and Carson tried to console him, “She just needs to take the meds, drink a lot of water, and get rest.”

Rounding on you, Negan pointed, “You’re staying inside and getting rest. Go back upstairs now.”

“I was going to…” you said slowly.

“I’m making sure you don’t get distracted with Moe and Curly on your way back up. I want the three of you to head back up now.”

Amber furrowed her brow and asked, “Who are Moe and Curly?”

“Jesus Christ,” Negan said under his breath. Impatiently, he snapped at her, “Amber, it’s a fucking TV show! The Three Stooges! Now get your ass out that door and get Y/N back upstairs!”

“You don’t have to be so rude,” you mumbled turning and grabbing the pills off the table and following Amber and Sherry out of the room. Amber still looked slightly confused by what Negan had said but you didn’t have the energy to explain it to her.

Negan called after you, “Stop talking back to me, Y/N! You know I hate that fucking shit!”

Rolling your eyes, you walked up to the elevator, waiting for it to open so you could go back upstairs.

<> <> <>

The next day, you walked out of the Sanctuary coming into the yard. The walkers were background noise. You rubbed your stomach, moving down the stairs to do a lap around the building.

Negan was coming around the corner with Simon, Dwight, and Daryl. He looked put off instantly seeing you outside – especially without someone with you. You knew he was going to lecture you the instant you saw the look on his face.

Approaching you, Negan looked down at you concerned. “Y/N… baby,” Negan started in, his voice low. “How about you go back inside and rest up a little?”

You didn’t want to go back inside. Being inside all day yesterday and most of the morning was honestly making you grumpy. It was stuffy inside. “I’ve been resting all day. I want to walk around.”

“You can walk around inside.”

“Where it’s stuffy and full of annoying shitheads?”

Negan’s lips went into a thin line, peering down his nose at you. You would not be deterred from this easily and he was seeing it was going to be a challenge. “I know you’re hormonal and shit and –”

“This has nothing to do with hormones, Negan! I am tired of being inside!”

Negan retorted, “Because being out here is good for you with those dead motherfuckers walking around?”

“Maybe you should take me back to Alexandria where there aren’t dead motherfuckers walking around inside or anywhere I could see?” you spat back at him, losing your temper. Negan looked pissed off at the mere mention of you leaving to go back. You knew you were making a mistake but you did not care. Daryl did care though.

“Y/N...” Daryl warned you quietly from behind Negan, which went ignored by you.

“Christ! I could be outside all the time and not be cooped up inside a stone building!” You continued. “I need some goddamn sunlight every once in a while! You can’t just leave me inside because you’re worried I’m going to trip or one of the walkers is going to get lose or I BLEED or any other bullshit like that! It could happen inside too!”

“Y/N!” Daryl said with more force.

Negan turned to look at Daryl and spat, “Butt out, Daryl. Let her dig her own grave!”

You rolled your eyes, “So you’re gonna kill me because I’m pissed off you’re treating me like a child?”

“I’m not treating you like a fucking child. Jesus fucking goddamn Christ!” Negan shouted, losing his temper as well. “Get back inside!”

“NO!”

“Don’t fucking tell me no!”

“You’re being an asshole! And _you’re_ giving me high blood pressure!”

Negan inhaled deeply and shakily, looking like he was trying to control his anger. “You think _I’m_ giving _you_ high blood pressure? Sweetheart, you have no idea how much I want to take Lucille and bash someone’s head in to release the fucking goddamn fucking frustration you’re instilling in me right now!” You narrowed your eyes at him, not backing down. Scoffing loudly at your impertinent demeanor, he shook his head. “Asshole, huh?” he asked you, his voice eerily calm from a few moments before. You said nothing, staring him down angrily. Negan clicked his tongue before looking over at Simon who was standing nearby. Simon merely looked back at him, his expression unreadable. Negan’s eyes flicked to Dwight. “Cut the rations down for that kid and his mum,” Negan ordered Dwight. Your mouth fell open and he noticed, looking at you with satisfaction. “That get your damn attention?”

“That’s unfair! They didn’t do anything!”

“No, they didn’t. But they’re gonna pay for your actions. Now how does that make you feel?”

Negan’s nose was inches from yours, his voice low and threatening. “How is that for being an asshole?” You stared back at him, your jaw clenched tightly. Negan scoffed before telling you, “Now, you’re gonna go back inside like I fucking asked ya too or I’m really going to lose it.”

Clenching your fists at your sides you huffed before turning on your heel and walking back towards the door.

“You really want me to do that?” Dwight asked him as soon as you were back inside.

Negan shot him a look and snapped, “Of fucking course not! I just wanted her to follow what I was fucking asking her to do!”

“You probably should let her outside,” Simon chimed in and Negan rounded on him looking murderous. Dwight and Daryl watched the pair warily. Simon was the only one who could stand up to Negan like this and one, not be afraid and two, not be worried his head was going to get bashed in. “She’s right. She needs to be out getting fresh air.”

“She can get fresh air tomorrow! Christ! She just had a problem yesterday!” Negan told him angrily.

“Tomorrows fine,” Simon continued calmly. “Just letting you know what I think about it. And I’m sure Carson would agree. She’s going to get cabin fever if you keep here in there. And she is in a rotten mood and she should have watched her mouth. But, even you acknowledged she’s not feeling like herself.”

Negan scowled, “I don’t need relationship advice, Simon!”

“I’m not talking about your relationship. I’m talking about her wellbeing. Fresh air. Vitamin D. You want her healthy? She needs both of those.”

Rolling his eyes, Negan scoffed, “Tomorrow! Like I said! She just needs some damn time to get her blood pressure down again and then it’ll be better.”

“You’re going to have to apologize to her.”

“Are you going to give me some pointers?” Negan taunted at Simon, annoyed to high heaven as he began to walk again.

“If you want them!” Simon replied, a half smirk playing on his face.

Negan waved him off. “I can woo my wife fine, thanks,” he muttered under his breath. Over his shoulder he called, “Go collect those bullets! I have something else to deal with!”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL PART FOR THIS STORY LINE. I will add the other story line after this one and the chapters will be titled ALTERNATIVE

Negan caught up with you inside and he cornered you. You sighed annoyed at this and he exhaled sharply, trying to ignore it. He said in a tight voice, “Listen, baby, I get it. This fucking sucks for you. But do not push me right now.”

“I could say the same thing!”

“No, you can’t!” Negan retorted forcefully. “I know you got yourself an attitude, but I have myself a goddamn fucking temper. One is a little bit more dangerous than the other! And that damn attitude is going to stress you the hell out and _you’re_ gonna be even more stressed out when you see _me_ freak the fuck out! So, cut the _bullshit_! I understand you hate being cooped up inside. But if you want to be healthy – and sweetheart, I want you healthy too – you need to do whatever the fuck Carson said. Tomorrow, sure, bring the girls outside and do a few laps. I don’t think you should be forced to stay inside and get depressed. But, bed. Fucking. Rest. For a couple days is what the doctor ordered, and I will be fucking damned if I don’t enforce that. You got me?”

You wanted to argue more, pissed off that he had yelled at you and embarrassed you. But the other part knew he was right. As angry as you were about the fight, you forced yourself to say, “Fine.”

Turning, you made your way towards the stairs but were stopped by Negan reaching his arm out and grasping your arm. You looked at him and he sighed, “And I’m not gonna fucking punish that kid and his mum. I’m sorry. I was just pissed off and went off.”

Surprised he was apologizing for something like that, you stared at him for a few seconds before shrugging, “Alright. Thank you. That wasn’t fair.”

“No… it wasn’t,” Negan agreed.

Swallowing your pride, you laid your hand on his and said, “Tomorrow then.”

Negan nodded, “Yeah. Tomorrow.” He gave you a light kiss before saying, “Don’t forget to do those exercises Carson told you.”

He really was paying attention.

<> <> <>

“I have morphine. I do not feel comfortable giving you an epidural. I have never given one.”

Narrowing your eyes slightly, you inquired, “But you’re comfortable about giving me morphine?”

You were sitting in Carson’s office, eight months pregnant at this point he was guessing. That was one thing that worried you: the guessing. You were getting close and you were stressing out about going into labor at any moment. You had come to Carson to ask him about pain relievers and the procedure that he planned to do.

“It’s different,” Carson explained. “I would put it through an IV.”

“That’s not as strong though.”

Carson assured you, “It’ll work well though.”

You narrowed your eyes and asked, “Have you been through labor with it?”

Relenting with a defeated smile, Carson shook his head a bit. “Right. No. You are right.” When he continued, he looked sure. “But, I’m telling you morphine does a hell of a job. It’s not going to cover it as well as an epidural, no. But, you’ll feel a difference than if you did not have anything at all.”

Stopping yourself from retorting something along the lines that the same thing could be said if you took Tylenol beforehand, because you knew morphine was different, you forced yourself to nod.

“Plus, Negan made sure to get enough supplies to make sure that during and after the birth, you would be taken care of. Pain wise and for recovery. He made sure to get me supplies to deal with problems that might arise. Y/N… you have a team behind you.”

As cheesy as this might have sounded, you actually felt comforted by it.

“I know,” you replied quietly.

Carson stated, “So have some faith. I know it’s hard but try.”

Again, you nodded.

<> <> <>

A few days later, Daryl was holding Midnight in his lap, petting her as she purred loudly. The two of you were sitting on two chairs Daryl had brought over. There were less walkers on the side of the building now where you had made the make-shift shelter for Midnight, most of them congregating on the front of the compound where the chained-up ones were. The doors opening and people being around there drew the walkers towards there.

The two of you were talking about the meeting you had with Carson. And you had gone into the territory of telling him that you were worried about the baby growing up here.

“It’s half of you, right?” Daryl responded.

“Yeah…” you responded quietly, picking at the cuff of your dress.

“So, they’ll be fine.”

You sighed, “With this place? The people here? Negan… Negan as the father? He is ruthless. I don’t want a baby like that.”

Daryl’s face had gone hard, his hand stilling on Midnight, who looked back at him annoyed at the lack of contact. “I wouldn’t say that shit out loud, Y/N.”

Rubbing your hands together nervously, you replied, “I know… but it’s the truth.”

Grinding his teeth a bit, Daryl looked back down at Midnight before resuming petting her. “I have actually been surprised how he treats you.” You slid your gaze to him and he shot you a quick look before averting his gaze again. “I mean… he seems to actually… care?”

You nodded slowly. “There’s… something under that cold, unfeeling demeanor. He shows it. Every once in a while.” A few seconds of silence were shared before you muttered, “He can still be an asshole.”

Daryl snorted at this despite himself before he scolded you quietly, “What did I just tell you about saying things out loud?”

“Sorry,” you apologized, giving him a small smile. You exhaled before looking back down at your stomach, touching it softly. Swallowing sharply, you said in a voice barely above a whisper, “I’m scared.”

“Of?” Daryl asked, sounding sincere.

You shrugged. “Giving birth. You know… with… Lori.” Daryl immediately looked saddened, looking down at the ground. “It’s all I can think about. It was so awful the way it happened.” You rubbed your stomach protectively, trailing off into your thoughts.

Daryl caught your attention with a shake his head, trying to push the thought from his mind. “Shit won’t happen twice,” he assured you, looking you straight in the eyes.

Not convinced, you pressed, “Plus, we don’t really have a skilled OB-GYN. I don’t think Carson has ever delivered a baby because he’s not comfortable giving an epidural. That’s not easing my anxiety in the slightest.”

“Y/N,” Daryl said evenly and you turned your gaze to him. “Unlike before, we don’t have anyone trying to actively screw us over in here.” You snorted and he asked, “What?”

“Are you for real? Rick?”

Daryl shook his head, “No. He wouldn’t put us at risk. And if he was going to do something, you know he would drop a hint beforehand.” You considered this for a moment and Daryl took the opportunity to add, “And Carson seems apt to adapt to the situation. Sure he’s never done it before, but he’s got books. And I know you have some pride in books. I’m not going to sugar coat about you being a test drive for him to apply that knowledge –” You narrowed your eyes slightly at this but Daryl pressed firmly, “But I got confidence in the guy. He doesn’t seem like a complete idiot. And it’s a good sign he was honest with you about what he was comfortable with. He’s aware.”

You chewed on that for a few moments. Daryl was silent, watching you.

“It makes me feel a little better,” you admitted. “Hearing that. You’re right.”

“I tend to be,” Daryl jested, nudging you a bit. You gave a little laugh at this, staring down at your stomach. Daryl reached up, laying his hand on yours. “You’re gonna be a good mum.”

Tears pricked your eyes then, thinking about it.

“You’ll do fine.”

You met his gaze and gave him a smile through the few tears that fell. You wiped them away, annoyed with yourself that your emotions were getting the better of you.

Daryl suddenly perked up, his hand leaving yours and you furrowed your brow confused. He immediately began petting Midnight again and you were about to open your mouth to inquire when Dwight walked around the corner. Of course. Daryl was never going to lose his affinity and skill for tracking and also sensing approaching danger.

Dwight approached the two of you, raising his eyebrows at the lawn chairs that Daryl had brought over for the two of you.

“Shouldn’t you be going on perimeter duty?” he directed at Daryl.

Nodding, Daryl leaned forward, placing Midnight on the ground. He gave her one more pet before standing up. He turned back to you and held out his hand. “I’m gonna guess you need help up.”

“You guess right,” you muttered grasping onto his hand. He leaned down, helping you get out of the chair.

Sighing, you told him and Dwight, “Can’t wait until I can do that on my own again.”

“Should be soon,” Dwight commented.

You smirked, “Thankfully.”

Dwight jerked his head, giving a nod back at the way he had come. “There’s lunch inside. Go grab some.”

“Will do,” you assured him before walking off without a glance back at Daryl. Daryl had told you about the conversation he had shared with Dwight but about the threat that Dwight had given to him amidst the conversation. You were not going to give Dwight any more ammo.

<> <> <>

Negan was pacing outside Carson’s office, listening to you groan and cry out. The moment he had heard you had gone into labor, he had dropped what he was doing and practically run back inside. They had just got back from a run and you had been in labor for a couple of hours.

When he had burst into the room, you had shaken your head. You didn’t want him to see you like this. Him freaking out along with the labor pain would have been too much. He was overbearing and as much as you wanted to have him in the room, you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle the extra stress seeing him anxious.

You had asked him (more like gasped to him) to stay outside and Sherry had stayed in the room with you, helping Carson out and also being there for moral support. Negan had, surprisingly, granted your wish but had not gone far. He was anxious, Simon could tell. Something he could honestly say he had only seen Negan be maybe once or twice in the time he had known him.

He wasn’t talking. He was lost in his thoughts, swinging Lucille around every once in awhile, which was why Simon was keeping his distance, sitting in a chair off a bit.

Negan’s thoughts and pacing were interrupted by Mark coming up the stairs quickly and approaching him quickly.

“Negan, we’ve got a problem,” Mark stated, stopping a couple feet from Negan. Simon shot him an annoyed look which was lost on Mark who wasn’t paying attention to Simon.

Negan stopped pacing and spat, “This better be good.”

This seemed to catch Mark off guard a bit, but he pressed on. “Got some fresh walkers around the east side of the compound. Do you want us to kill ‘em or bring them in to chain them up?”

Simon almost rolled his eyes, knowing Negan was not in the mood to be bothered by something that didn’t require immediate attention. He got prepared to be a mediator.

If Negan’s eyes could have rolled out of his head, they would have. He stepped closer to Mark and narrowed his eyes, looking dangerous.

“You’re bothering me with this mundane fucking shit right now?”

Mark began sputtered, “I… I thought you would –”

Negan cut him off.

“In the words of – and I am assuming considering the state of the damn planet – the late Gary Oldman,” Negan started out, raising his finger up threatingly and his voice rising with each word. “‘I don’t have time for this Mickey Mouse bullshit!’”

Simon stepped in immediately in between Negan and Mark.

“I got it,” Simon told him, sounding calm, putting his hands up in a non-confrontational way. “I’ll deal with it. You stay here. Let us know if you need anything.”

He whipped around and gave Matt a shove to start walking. He held back from smacking him up the back side of the head until they were around the corner and out of Negan’s line of sight.

“Ow!” Matt complained, rubbing the back of his head, tossing Simon a glare. “The hell was that for?”

Simon gave him another shove and snapped, “You know damn well what it was for. You should have just asked for me. Bothering him with that shit. He’s agitated as it is and annoying him isn’t smart. Keep walking!”

<> <> <>

The cries of the newborn filled you with a great sense of relief. You immediately laid your head back down on the bed, breathing in gasping breaths. Carson was directing Sherry as he worked to finish you up.

For what felt like an eternity, Carson made sure you were alright, assessing you obsessively. You could see Sherry cleaning the baby off.

“What is it?” you asked her weakly at one point. You hoped what you said came out clear.

It seemed to – or if it didn’t, Sherry was good at deciphering gibberish. She said something in response but over the morphine and exhaustion, you didn’t quite hear her response.

In the middle of the eternity, Negan had come into the room, obviously unable to wait for permission to come in. He approached you first – even in your state, you were able to take notice of that. He looked down at you, running his hand down your hair. He exchanged a few words with Carson before turning away towards Sherry.

When he approached you again, you sat up a bit, still a bit dozy. He was focusing down at his arms where you saw him cradling a little bundle.

“Look at him,” he said, smiling. You don’t know if he was talking to anyone in particular.

Him. That’s what Sherry had told you. That it was a boy.

Negan was looking down at the infant, his eyes bright. He gently ran his hand over the top of the baby’s head before moving his hand down, touching the baby’s little fingers gently.

His eyes rose to meet you and he looked at Carson. “You think it’s alright to let her hold him?”

Carson nodded in response and Negan smiled a bit more.

Approaching you, he knelt down by the bed, grabbing a seat. He held out the bundle to you and you tried to sit up. You felt the bed moving underneath you and realized that Carson was raising the bed for you to be able to sit up.

Negan placed the bundle in your arms and you looked down at your baby boy. He was beautiful. He yawned, moving his fingers in motion. For a second he was calm. The world was calm, letting you enjoy this moment with him… and with Negan.

“You did good,” Negan told you quietly, giving you a kiss on your forehead, his fingers playing with your hair.

Your fingers traced your baby’s skin, looking down at him sleeping peacefully.

“It’s gonna be fine, sweetheart,” Negan told you, sounding sure in a soothing voice, his lips brushing your forehead before he planted another warm kiss on your head. “We are gonna be fine.”


	15. ALTERNATIVE Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This starts after Chap 8! If you're confused, it's because it's an alternative story line. Negan has moved the Reader into his room. And this update is while Negan had taken Carl back to Alexandria within the same time frame of the show.

“He was drunk the other night and took forever,” Sherry mumbled, complaining to the pair of you. You, her, and Amber were sitting in the main room of the wive’s room, playing a small card game, trying to pass the time while Negan was gone at Alexandria.

You had tried to go down to where they were going to put Daryl in his cell again for pissing Negan off before he left. But Dwight had been smart, knowing that’s what you would do. He had immediately asked Joseph to escort you upstairs. You’d hoped the look you’d given him had been murderous because you had been livid.

Amber responded to Sherry, “He usually doesn’t do that. Drink and then get too drunk.”

“I know. I was thrown off a bit,” Sherry replied.

You snorted at this and turned away, picking your water up off the table. You took a long drink as Sherry continued, “He did somewhat apologize the next day. Said he hoped his whiskey breath hadn’t bothered me too much.”

“And not about the amount of your time that was wasted?” Amber quipped.

“Hell would have frozen over,” you chimed in.

The door flying open caught all of you off guard, causing you to jump. All the girls gasped in the room seeing Daryl run into the room. He looked frantic. He wasn’t wearing his sweatpants anymore, looking more cleaned up. He tore off the baseball cap he was wearing and ignored the girls staring at him as his eyes landed on you. Daryl advanced on you quickly and he grabbed your arm, pulling you up off the couch. “Come on!” he told you gruffly.

“D-Daryl?” You stammered, stumbling along behind him back towards the door. You threw a look over your shoulder at Amber and Sherry who were staring with their mouths open.

“We need to go. Now!”

“Daryl, wait!” you hissed at him as he slowed down coming to a corner. He peeked around the corner, ignoring you. You grabbed his shoulder, turning him around. “Daryl, how did you get out?”

“Someone gave me a key!”

“That doesn’t sound like a trap to you?”

“No one has come to get me. I’ve been out for at least twenty minutes. No one’s looking for me. They don’t know I’m gone.”

You shook your head and said, “Do you remember what happened last time you tried to escape? Last time I tried to leave?”

Daryl saw your reserve falling and he jumped in quickly, latching onto you. Come with me, please!” he begged you.

“Daryl, please. Don’t do this. What if it’s another trap?”

“We have a chance now! And then if it is a trap, all those girls in there saw me drag you out of the room. Just… just blame it on me!”

“Yeah, that’s rich! He’ll lose his damn mind and kill everyone if we BOTH leave! Actually, all THREE of us leave!” You gestured quickly at your stomach. “We already talked about this!”

Daryl leaned in quickly and you moved back instinctively, but he caught you behind your head, pulling you back to him. His lips crashed into yours. He was kissing you. You froze, completely caught off guard.

Daryl pulled away, his eyes wild and pleading. “Who cares as long as I have you?” You couldn’t think. “Please, Y/N. I do love you.”

You choked up, covering your mouth. All your thoughts were flooding you; there was so much you wanted to say to him but none of it was coming out. You couldn’t say it, it wasn’t the right time. But, the look on his face was killing you that you weren’t responding.

Daryl seemed to get it. “You’re not going to come with me are you?” His expression was one of hurt.

Moving towards him, you cupped his face. “Rick needs you. You need to go. I can’t…”

“Rick needs both of us. I need you!”

You shook your head, quickly saying, “You’ll be fine! I have protection here. Please, Daryl.”

“You don’t want someone like him protecting you!” Daryl tried.

“Daryl, please!” You cupped his face tightly. “I do love you.” You caught the fleeting look on his face at your confession. “But, I want you to go. I want you to go back to Rick and our group. I want you to make a plan. They need you to help them. I’ll be fine, I promise!”

There was a loud noise from down the opposite end of the hall catching both of your attention. “Now!” you pressed firmly.

Daryl stared at you for a few more seconds before nodding stiffly. His eyes were still swimming with reluctance but he did what you asked. He didn’t say anything else as he turned around and took off down the hall. You stared after him until he disappeared.

Swallowing sharply, trying to hold back tears, you hoped what he was doing wasn’t a trap. When you turned around, you saw Natasha standing in the doorway. Clenching your jaw, you stared at her until you were past her, back into the room.

“Where did you go?” Amber immediately jumped in when you came back into the room. The whole room was watching the pair of you.

You shot an annoyed look around at all of them, angry they were trying to get in on the drama. “Nowhere,” you said tightly, sitting back down on the couch and picked up your cards. “Are we going to continue this game?”

<> <> <>

“There’s a problem, sir.”

Negan had just got out of his truck and slammed the door behind him. He turned to Dwight, a pissed off expression painted across his face.

“Jesus fucking goddamn Christ! I’ve had too many fucking goddamn problems today!” Negan shouted and Eugene flinched behind him. Dwight shifted uncomfortably and Negan got impatient. He groaned loudly, “What the fuck is it?”

“Daryl’s gone.”

Negan’s expression darkened immediately. “What the fucking fuck do you mean gone?”

“Yeah, he –”

Without missing a beat, Negan demanded, “What about Y/N?”

Dwight cut in immediately, “She’s here.” And in turn, Negan relaxed a bit before Dwight said, “But Daryl’s gone. I don’t know how he got out. And he killed Joseph.”

“What the shit? You fucking idiots!” Negan growled and Dwight immediately looked down at the ground. “I should just beat your fucking head in for being an inept piece of shit!” Dwight said nothing in response to this.

Negan was on a rant now.

“First, Rick’s goddamn kid tries to kill me! Manages to kill some of my fucking men though! Great! So fucking beautiful. Really started my day off great! Then while we are at Alexandria, Spencer showed his true damn colors to me and turned out to be a little baby back BITCH! Motherfucker is wheezing and stumbling around by now, guts everywhere! THEN some bitch tries to shoot me and shoots LUCILLE!” Dwight flinched as Negan held up Lucille, showing Dwight the bullet hole. “What the fuck else can go wrong! Huh? OH WAIT! I come back here and you tell me that somehow one fucking prick escapes and kills one of my guys! Anything else you want to tell me?”

“No, sir,” Dwight got out.

Negan’s stare was a furious one before he snarled, “Christ! And what the fuck is she doing down here? Get her the fuck back inside!”

Negan had noticed Natasha was down by the door into the Sanctuary. She looked extremely uncomfortable, her eyes watching the walkers warily. Negan shouting about her caught her attention. Mark, who was standing behind her, shoved her forward a bit. “She has something to tell you.”

“If it’s more bad news, you don’t even know how I am going to react so I suggest you just fucking don’t and wait a bit for it!”

“It’s not bad,” Natasha squeaked.

Negan inhaled deeply, looking annoyed. Throwing his hands out a bit, “Then what it is, darling?”

“That guy…. Daryl,” Natasha started out.

“Yeah, I know! You don’t have to fucking remind me yet again. I’m already fucking pissed off about it! So what is the big deal or point you’re trying to make?” Natasha looked over her shoulder at Dwight uncomfortably before Negan ghosted his fingers along her jawline, and then forced her to look back at him. “The deal, sweetheart?” he repeated, his voice tight.

“Daryl tried to get Y/N to go with him.” This shut Negan up. His eyes widened at this information. “And Y/N didn’t want to go. And then Daryl told her he loved her and kissed her.” Negan looked furious and Natasha stalled before Dwight nudged her, egging her on. She cleared her throat and pressed on, “And she considered it for a second but then decided to stay.” Negan still looked infuriated, so Natasha quickly added, “But she stayed… because she said she wanted to be with you. Those were her words. Verbatim.”

Negan chewed on this for a minute. “Verbatim, huh?”

“She also said that if her and Daryl left, you would kill everyone. And she didn’t want to cause any more grief.”

“Well. That is good news. It means Y/N finally understands.” He pondered for a few seconds before ordering, “Now, get your pretty ass back inside.”

Natasha did so quickly. Negan rounded on Dwight and Mark. “You two motherfuckers have got some explaining to do. And then some goddamn investigating! I want to know how and why that prick got out! Someone here had to have helped him. And if I don’t get some fucking answers, someone is dying!”

<> <> <>

Negan came into his bedroom, finding you laying on the bed. You had been dozing but him opening the door had woken you up. You immediately noticed one, that he had shaved. And secondly, the blood on his shirt and you sat up, looking frightened. Who had he killed?

Throwing his jacket onto the back of a chair, he placed Lucille down, leaning against the chair. When he faced you again, he noticed your expression and where you were looking. His eyes flittered down to look at the blood before he met your gaze again.

“Spencer is a pussy,” he offered. “And now, he’s a dead pussy.”

“Why?” you choked out.

“You were right about him,” Negan added, ignoring your question. He sauntered over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to you. It was quiet between the two of you for a few moments, Negan tracing his fingers down your arm, feeling your skin. He stated nonchalantly, “Daryl’s gone.”

“I know.” Your voice was quiet.

Negan moved his gaze up to meet your eyes again. There was something dangerous lurking there. “You know,” was all Negan said in response. He was pissed under the surface and on edge. You knew him by now.

You forced yourself to make eye contact. “Yes. I know.”

“Explain that fucking shit to me.”

“Explain how I know?”

“Fuck yeah.”

Shrugging, you offered up, “He came to me.”

“And?” Negan was extremely impatient.

You questioned, “You honestly haven’t heard?”

Negan let out a humorless laugh. “Oh, I’ve heard a version. I just want yours, sweetheart. Just to see if there’s any new information I can get or discrepancies.”

You decided to start from the beginning. “I was with Sherry and Amber, playing a card game with them. In the wive’s room. Daryl came into the room – quite quickly, mind you. So, I knew something was up. He brought me out of the room and he asked me to go with him.”

Negan inquired, “He tell you how he got out?”

Hesitating for a second, you thought about lying.

“Y/N.” Negan’s voice was dangerous.

“He got a key.”

“How?”

Again, you shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Negan ran his eyes over you, studying you. His voice was eerily calm, “You lying to me?”

“No. He said he didn’t know who it was either. And-and I thought it might be a trap.”

“Well, I know you’re not an idiot.”

“He thought the same.”

Negan snorted at this, “And he still went with it?”

“Yes. He was willing to risk it.”

Negan pondered on this for a moment, taking everything in. He looked itching to say something and the moment he asked the question, you knew why he looked so irritable. “He kissed you?”

You knew that lying wasn’t going to do anything for you. Someone – Natasha you guessed – must have told him already. Your voice was quiet, “Yes.”

Negan clenched his fists a little bit, looking ready to fly off the handle for only a second before regaining his somewhat relaxed demeanor. “Laid hands on you?”

“A little? He just held me –”

“And you left him high and dry?”

Yes, Natasha had definitely spoke to Negan. Part of you didn’t blame her. Sherry had done the same with Amber. It was smarter to be honest with Negan and answer his questions. But, the other part of you felt betrayed. That moment was supposed to be between you and Daryl and now the last person on the planet you wanted to have known about it knew because of her.

“I have somebody,” you said, your voice not wavering. “Someone who cares about me and has a place to protect me. And proven they want to do that.” You never broke eye contact with him while saying this. His expression was stoic but you knew under the surface, your words were ringing with him. When he said nothing, you continued, “I love Daryl.” This time, Negan’s expression darkened but you ignored it pressing on. “But, I’ve got something different now. And I’m alright with it. I’m content, I like it. And I need to stick with it.”

“Huh…” was all Negan said in response to all of that. Internally, you were doing cartwheels, wondering how he was going to respond. Luckily for you, when he did respond, it was soft. Negan leaned in, pressing his lips to yours, cradling the back of your head, holding you close. His kiss was soft. And you felt appreciation behind it.

“At least one good thing came out of today,” he murmured against your lips.

“You ever leave me…. You were right. I _would_ have killed everyone. Okay, not everyone, let’s not be over dramatic. But, some motherfuckers who were supposed to watch Daryl and you? Lucille would have had her thirst quenched. The fucking place. would. be. scorched. Earth.” He enunciated the words, eyeing you closely. You swallowed sharply before he continued. “I give the option to my ladies to leave. And I’m pretty fucking nice to them deciding they don’t want to be with me. And although, like I keep remind you, you do got a choice. But, you leaving?” Negan shook his head, looking mad. “I told ya how I feel about stealing. And none of my ladies have been pregnant before.” He ran his eyes over you quickly. “You’re different. I like ya too much. You mean something to me. A lot to me… And I got some investment in you.” He gestured at your stomach. “You’re something special.”

He paused before admitting, “I’d do some crazy ass shit for ya.”

“I know,” you informed him.

A silence fell between the two of you. A comfortable one this time. Negan was looking down at his hands, seeming lost in thought.

He finally looked back up at you and said, “I’ll let you rest some more.” He leaned in, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead before standing up and walking over to his dresser to grab a new shirt. He changed quickly, tossing the dirty shirt on top of the laundry basket. You were watching him closely. He grabbed his jacket again, putting it on quickly.

Pausing, he shot you another look, finding you looking at him. “You need something?” You shook your head. He nodded curtly before picking up Lucille. “Then get some rest. I’ll send someone up for you when dinners ready. I got shit to do.”

And with that he left the room.


	16. ALTERNATIVE Chap 10

Negan had not come back to his room until late and he crawled into bed, wanting to go to sleep. Secretly, you were pleased. You were not up to sleeping with him so soon after Daryl had tried to convince you to run away with him. You needed a bit of time to process your feelings and ground yourself again to be able to withstand the storm you were fighting against: surviving here.

When you had come down to the women’s room, Sherry had told you that Negan had brought back one of your people. She didn’t know his name, except that Laura called him ‘haircut’. You had a strong inclination that you knew who it was and you wondered why the hell Negan would choose him out of everyone to bring back. You were itching to find out if your hunch was correct. It had to be Eugene.

You got your answer later in the day when you spotted Laura leading someone out the doors. From behind, you knew it was him. You felt a sudden urge to reach out and protect him. He wasn’t as emotionally stable as the rest of the group and you knew he would buckle under someone like Negan. You didn’t want that to happen.

Waiting impatiently, you paced inside, letting Negan gloat and play with Eugene outside the doors.

When it sounded like it was breaking up, you pushed your way through the doors and took a deep breath. Eugene was clutching a jar of pickles and you had to resist the urge to laugh. You made your way down the stairs.

“Eugene!” you exclaimed trying to run forward.

Eugene’s eyes widened, looking elated to see you. A familiar face in a crowd of threatening strangers. The moment was lost when you were stopped abruptly by a bat – an all too familiar bat – landing in front of you, cutting you short of your goal. You turned your head to the left and saw Negan standing there, his face stoic.

Negan pushed Lucille back against you gently, forcing you to scoot back a few steps and Negan dropped her back down to his side.

Facing you fully, he placed Lucille on the ground, glowering down at you.

“What have we talked about with your old group?” He asked you, his tone annoyed and firm. You opened your mouth to respond but he cut you off, pressing hard, “Especially since one of yours escaped?”

Straightening up, you questioned, “You don’t believe me?”

“Oh, no, sweetheart. I believe you. You have witnesses and a strong alibi. I don’t believe your group.”

Straightening up, you stared him straight in the eyes. “Eugene is a good person.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eugene’s expression lift a bit. 

Negan shot a look over his shoulder before looking back at you chuckling. “You’re standing up for that?” Eugene’s expression feel again and it angered you.

You narrowed your eyes, clenching your fists a bit in frustration that he would insult one of your friends. It did not go unnoticed by Negan, whose gaze fell to your hands before meeting your eyes again, looking curious. “Yes. He’s been a good friend. And I don’t like you insulting him just because of shallow reasons. Although I shouldn’t expect any less.”

Negan studied you a moment before chuckling. “God-damn, baby. You are sure getting fucking testy!” He chortled again before relenting, “Fine, baby. I get it. He’s a goddamn pussy. I can see it in his eyes. The way he fucking blubbered like a bitch when I was going to hurt that other piece of ass. He’ll be fine here. I promise.” He turned to look over his shoulder at Eugene, who he knew damn well could hear the conversation. “As long as he follows my orders. But the moment he goes against them, I’ll be sure him and Lucille get fucking real fucking goddamn acquainted.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Eugene got out, avoiding eye contact with Negan.

This drew another low chuckle out of Negan. “Well, we will just see how that plays out. Laura, take him back inside. Get him settled into his new quarters.”

Eugene looked surprised at this and your heart fell a bit. Daryl was able to withstand Negan’s offers. You hoped Eugene would do the same. Even if he wanted to protect himself – and you wouldn’t blame him – hanging around with Negan’s people wouldn’t have a good effect on him.

As soon as he was lead away, Negan turned his attention to you again. “What are you doing with him?”

“Need him,” Negan replied simply.

“For?”

“Is that really any of your fucking business?”

“Do you want me to answer that honestly?”

Negan smiled at you. “It’d probably be best to not.” You closed your mouth, glowering at him. His eyes slid to Simon and he ordered him, “Don’t let him out of your sight.”

“Right.”

“And make sure to… assimilate him properly. Scare him a little bit.”

“He’s already scared,” you informed Negan, unable to keep an edge of annoyance out of your voice, catching both his and Simon’s attention.

Negan informed you, “Needs to be done. I don’t think it’ll take a lot to break him but just in case.”

“I’ll never forgive you if you hurt him.”

Your firm tone surprised even you.

Negan looked at you more in surprise than amusement. Simon chewed on his lip, looking away from the pair of you, seeming uncomfortable with the intimacy of the conversation.

Cocking an eyebrow, Negan regarded you a for a few more moments before offering, “I’ll do my best, sweetheart, to not disappoint you. You are quite a shining beacon in my miserable life. You and that precious little bundle.” He rested a hand on your stomach and you looked back up at him with determination. He smirked, “That’s the look I need to see from you, baby. Perseverance and strength.” He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I chose the right woman. Now run along. I promise I won’t hurt the teddy bear too bad.”

<> <> <>

Sherry left. Without telling you. It had to have been when Negan and them were searching for Daryl and you were distracted with trying to get a word in to see if it was Eugene Negan had brought back. You felt hurt. You thought that the two of you had made a relationship but she hadn’t been bothered to even hint that she would leave. Now you lost her and Daryl. Amber was drinking herself sick all the time and she wasn’t the best confidence to have. You felt alone again.

Frankie and Tanya walked by and you sat up in your chair, curious.

“Where are you guys going?”

Tanya and Frankie exchanged a look before Frankie told you, “We’re going to hang out with Eugene.”

“Why?”

“Negan asked us to,” Amber responded from beside you. You could tell she had already started drinking.

“Can I—“ you tried to say but Frankie cut you off.

“You know he chose us for a reason and left you behind for a reason.”

You knew she was right. You closed your mouth, grinding your teeth a bit.

Amber touched your arm and said, “We will be back soon. He doesn’t seem like the type to hold out long.”

You snorted a bit, “You would be surprised.” The three of them shot you a look and you cleared your throat. “Well… good luck. I guess?”

“Yeah, I’m so stoked,” Tanya muttered sarcastically before turning towards the door and making her way out, Frankie and Amber following her. Amber had a bottle in her hand and your heart clenched a bit. She was not doing well.

<> <> <>

You were laying on the bed, holding a book that you were unable to focus on. You had not stopped thinking about Negan throwing Carson into the fire. The more you thought about it, the angrier it made you. You tried to distract yourself with the book but it was proving futile. You weren’t only angry – you were scared. What were you going to do without a doctor? What the hell was Negan thinking?

The moment he entered the bedroom, you threw the book down on the bed and sat up straight, your eyes fixated on him.

“The hell are you doing?” you demanded immediately. Spending time away from him had definitely not cooled you down.

Negan cocked an eyebrow, leaning back a bit at this greeting. “Good fucking evening to you too, sweetheart.” He gestured wide, “Is there something I can help you with?”

You were seething. “Why the fuck did you kill Carson?”

Realization dawned on Negan’s face and he had a simpering smile on his face, which only fueled your fire. He turned away from you, playing Lucille down against one of his couches. His nonchalant response to your question and your obvious anger was drawing fury out that you knew you should keep in check.

“Have you forgotten I was pregnant? Or do you just not care?” you spat.

“Of course I didn’t forget, baby. That was one of the best fucking nights of my whole fucking goddamn life. Wouldn’t forget it for the world.” He threw you a wink.

Goddamn him.

You practically snarled, “So, you just don’t care?”

“Why are you being so fucking melo-goddamn-dramatic? The shithead betrayed me.”

“I don’t give a fuck!”

Negan furrowed his brow a bit and the smile was gone from his face. “Well, you should give a shit. I know you’re probably secretly goddamn elated about your potential boyfriend escaping but you know what happens when the goddamn machine doesn’t work right. I can’t have fucking traitors in my midst. And to keep the fucking machine working the way it should, I need to deal with people to keep everyone here fucking safe. And that includes keeping your sweet ass safe, baby.”

You rolled your eyes, furious with him. “Tell yourself whatever bullshit you need to, Negan, to justify what you did. But you and I both know what you did was stupid!”

Negan had had enough. He closed the space between the two of you, peering down his nose at you. “Watch your fucking mouth, Y/N! I let you run it a bit more than others but there’s a damn line. And your little toe is creeping the fuck over it.”

“Good! Maybe you need someone to tell you when you’re being an idiot! You’re a hot head! And you do shit to flex on people without thinking about long term consequences!”

He looked shocked you were still talking.

“You don’t think I fucking think about shit before I do it?” Negan demanded, his tone dangerous. You knew you should back down but you were already in it.

“If you did, you wouldn’t have killed the only doctor you have to deliver your baby!”

Negan rose his brows before telling you in a condescending tone, “Well, sorry to burst your bubble on whatever goddamn fucking psychoanalysis you’re trying to fucking shit on me but I’m sure you’ll be pleased as fucking punch to know I have another doctor.” You said nothing, wondering what the hell he was talking about. “Another Dr. Carson to be exact. Same name, same bullshit degree. Just have to fetch his ass from the Hilltop.”

Of course he didn’t care about leaving another camp without a doctor on hand. You wanted to swing your arm back and slap him across the face.

“And if someone there gets sick?”

“They can request us to send him back for a couple hours or they can find themselves another permanent doctor.” You shook your head and Negan demanded, his tone angry, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, don’t fucking do that stupid bullshit. Talk your shit straight to me.”

“I thought you didn’t like me talking back?”

“You’re testing my patience!”

“I just happen to worry about other people and taking something as valuable as a doctor from them isn’t a very kind thing to do! If you want those people to work for you, you should make sure they are healthy.”

Negan rubbed his mouth angrily, staring you down. He got close, glaring down at you. He growled at you, “If I ever want some counsel from you about how to run a place, I’ll let you fucking know, baby. I’ll send you a pretty little fucking notecard and let it be known. Otherwise, keep it to yourself. I made pretty fucking goddamn sure to look at my options and when I realized I could fucking give the prick a dramatic exit – one he deserved – and still keep the people here safe – ESPECIALLY you considering the fact you need special care – I went for it. And that’s the fucking end of this goddamn conversation. And I want your attitude to be better when I come back later.” Your jaw was set, staring at him. “You understand me fucking clear as fucking day?”

“Yes,” you said through clenched teeth.

Dipping his head down, Negan kept eye contact with you and ordered, “I want to hear you mean it.”

Forcing yourself to relax, you exhaled before stating in a nicer tone, “Yes.”

Negan studied you for a few moments before pulling away. “I’ll give you some time to calm down and rethink how you wanna approach me.”


	17. ALTERNATIVE Chap 11

“He wouldn’t give them to us,” Frankie spat, crossing her arms, looking pissed. “He’s a coward!”

Frankie and Tanya had come back from visiting Eugene for the umpteenth time since he had been there. Apparently, he had been making something for them… suicide pills. And they had lied to him saying they wanted to take them. But, he had figured it out or they had let it slip that they actually wanted to give them to Negan. And he had refused them.

This did not surprise you in the slightest.

“He is,” you agreed, and she looked at you with some surprise. You shrugged slightly, “He flocks to whoever can protect him. Right now, he feels that person is Negan. So, he’s not going to have a hand in him dying.”

They both stared at you for a few seconds before Tanya snapped, “How can you defend him?”

“I’m not. I’m just being realistic about his personality. He’s done this type of shit before.”

“And your leader put up with it?”

“He’s into giving people second chances.”

Snorting, Frankie quipped, “How has that worked for him?”

Not rising to the bait, you replied, “Half and half.”

Shaking her head, Frankie got up and went over towards the bar. You watched her leave and your eyes lingered on the bar before looking at Tanya again. “Is Amber still going hard today?” she asked you.

“She’s passed out,” you informed her.

With a sigh, Tanya got up and murmured, “I should probably get her some water to put by her bed.”

The two of them leaving you alone gave you time to pick back up your book you had been reading before they had come in in a fury about Eugene.

Unfortunately, you only had about five minutes of reading time before you heard Negan whistling from down the hall. The rest of the wives straightened themselves up, ready for him. Considering you were feeling down about the fact you were starting to show, you scowled to yourself, flipping the page, not bothering to acknowledge him as he walked into the room. The argument the two of you had had earlier wasn’t out of your mind either.

“Frankie, you’ve got the right idea!” Negan announced, and you heard him walking over towards the bar where you had heard Frankie pouring some shots for herself a few minutes earlier.

Negan took some shots with Frankie before he joked around with her for a few minutes. He greeted the other wives before you could feel eyes burning into the back of your skull. You prayed, knowing it was worthless, that he would just leave you alone considering how annoyed you had made him earlier.

No such luck. His footsteps came close to you and you felt him hovering behind you.

“Don’t be rude, Y/N… say hello,” Negan practically purred as he rounded the couch.

Suppressing the urge to look annoyed, you closed your book and looked up at him. “Hello.”

He looked you up and down – a seductive glint in his eye, surprising you. Had he forgotten already? – before stating, “Come with me, baby.”

Placing your book on the couch, you pushed yourself up and went to him. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he started walking with you towards the door. You saw the looks on the other wives’ faces as this happened – some relieved, some irritated or jealous.

Following his lead, you let him lead you back to your bedroom. Frowning slightly, you stood as he closed the door.

“I think I figured out why we argued earlier,” he informed you.  
Curious, you questioned, “Why?”

Negan’s hands were on you, caressing you. “I haven’t been paying close enough attention to ya. I apologize.” Of course he would think it was about sex and not about the fact he had killed someone that was supposed to be taking care of you. Knowing better than to annoy him, you went along with it, letting him touch you. “I know ya gotta be getting self-conscious. Because not to be fucking rude – just realistic – our baby is showing itself.” You couldn’t help the blush that came to your cheeks and Negan tutted. “Now, don’t do that. I was just going to compliment you on the fact that you are still fuckable as hell.”  
Leaning in close, your noses centimeters from the other, he kept direct eye contact with you as he husked, “And I’m going to let you know how fucking attractive I still find you.”

<> <> <>

Later that night, you were walking down the stairs towards the kitchen. You were getting a craving for something and Negan had told you to eat whenever you felt hungry. You usually tried to ignore it, knowing full well the food situation. You would feel guilty eating more than you should, even if it was for health reasons. But, you couldn’t push this craving away.

As you descended the second flight of stairs, you heard a ruckus coming from down the hallway and froze. Your thoughts immediately went to a break in by walkers and you made to go back up the stairs quickly.

The door opened, and you started going quicker. You were slower than normal because of your state.

“Hold it!” Someone demanded behind you and you heard a gun cocking. You stopped, a ragged breath leaving your mouth. You heard, “Y/N?” in a tone of disbelief behind you.

You knew that voice.

Turning, you faced the person at the bottom of the stairs.  
“Sasha?”

Her gun was lowered, and she came up the stairs quickly towards you. “Oh my god…” she said as she reached you.

“How… how did you…?” you tried to get out confused.

“Oh my god,” Sasha repeated again before grabbing your arm. “You need to get out of here! Rosita isn’t far! She’s just beyond the gate!”

“Rosita?” Nothing Sasha was saying made sense. Did they come here on their own? And if so, what was their plan? “Where’s Rick?”

“Not here! Come on.” You let her drag you down the stairs and back out towards the door. Your eyes landed on all of Negan’s men and women she had already killed getting in here. “You need to go outside and find a way out. I will come after you. You hear me?”

You tried to reason with her, “Sasha, we should both go! You’re not safe here!”

Sasha gave you an incredulous look, “Neither are you!”

Reaching out, you grasped her hand, “This… it isn’t going to work. Please, don’t stay!”

She looked confused hearing what you were telling her. Shaking her head quickly she gave you a push towards the gate. “We got in there. Wait for me!”

“What are you going to do?” you asked as she made to turn around to go back.

Meeting your eyes, she told you, “I’m going to kill Negan.”

“Sasha, don’t. Please –”

You were cut short when you noticed Michael come around the corner, a broad smirk on his face. “Oh, are you?” he taunted Sasha. He was joined by a group moments after behind him. While the two of you had been wasting time, Negan’s men had had time to get themselves together and now it was over. You wished Sasha had left when you asked her to.

Sasha stilled before throwing you behind her, raising her gun to meet the men who had come up to attack whoever had come in and attacked their compound.

Simon advanced to the front of the group, looking unafraid of Sasha. “Now what do we have here?”

“I’m not afraid to shoot you,” Sasha told him, her voice rough.

Giving her a look, Simon shrugged, “Then why haven’t you?” Sasha said nothing and Simon chuckled. He gestured at the men around him, “Oh, right… that’s why. You’re surrounded. Shooting me isn’t going to solve your problem. That sucks. It really does. You put in so much effort to get as far as you did. And then you get distracted by an old friend.” He now gestured at you behind her.

Sasha didn’t relent, which only made Simon smile broader.  
“Negan doesn’t like people who steal things. Or kill his people,” Simon informed her. He snapped his finger, “But, you already know that. You’ve seen the rules, heard them… you just don’t seem to care.”

Cocking her gun, drawing a somewhat surprised look out of Simon, Sasha demanded, “Let her go.”

“Go where?” you heard Negan chuckle from behind some of the men. He had taken awhile getting there but you knew he was going to arrive at a point. Sauntering to the front of the group, he smiled broadly at her. “Go back to pussy ass Rick? Your lame ass group that’s losing people by the day? You are all looking pretty fucked up at this point. I don’t think that’s the best place for Y/N. Do you?”

“You’re keeping her against her will!”

“Am I?” Negan asked, giving her a curious look. He looked past her to you. “Sweetheart, is that true? You know I don’t want to be doing that. And it was you right, that turned down leaving with that asshole Daryl?”

Your mouth fell open slightly. You didn’t know what to do. Agree with Negan and betray Sasha’s trust? Or agree with Sasha and betray Negan’s trust?

“I… I did,” you said, your words stumbling.

Sasha wasn’t going to hear it.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t believe it was genuine,” Sasha spat, her gun still raised, catching Negan’s attention again.

A wide smile broke out across Negan’s face. Pointing Lucille at Sasha, he chuckled, “You really fucking can’t stand losing, can you? A girl after my own goddamn heart.” His eyes ran over her, a slight lecherous look to it. You knew that look and it worried you he was giving it to her. When his eyes met hers again, he sighed, “I wish we could have met in better fucking circumstances.”

Suddenly, someone grabbed you from behind and tugged you away from Sasha. And another came up and knocked Sasha on the back of the head, before she had the time to react and turn around to defend herself. She had been so focused, as had you, to hear the other men sneaking up behind the pair of you.

Sasha’s knees gave out and she crumpled to the ground, her gun leaving her hand. One of Negan’s men snatched it up and Negan was fixated on her on the ground before moving his gaze to you.  
Stepping over her body, he came closer to you and his guy let you go.

“You were close to leaving, weren’t you?” he asked you after a moment’s pause, his voice quiet, dangerous.

Shaking your head, you got out, “No.” His eyes ran over you slowly, trying to decide if you were telling the truth or not. You pleaded quietly, “Please don’t hurt her. She’s just… scared.”

“Oh, darling, I wasn’t gonna fucking hurt her. I know. It’s scary being on the losing side.” Leaning in close, he told you, “I think I can get her to see things from my side.” You had nothing to say to this, so you just looked up at him, trying to give him doe eyes, to look innocent. He leaned back before swinging an arm around your shoulders. “Now, you’re going to get your ass back inside because it is freezing.”


	18. ALTERNATIVE Chap 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL PART FOR THIS ALTERNATIVE LINE

“She is a goddamn piece of work!” Negan told you when he had come back to your bedroom that night. He was elated at having spoken to Sasha and been met with someone who was made of steel like him. You could tell he was infatuated but you would never tell him there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell she would ever feel anything in return for him.

You nodded in agreement, “She is quite amazing.”

Negan took your aloof statement the wrong way. He chuckled quietly walking over to you. He hugged you from behind, his hands touching your stomach gently. “Oh, darling, I still love fucking love the shit out of you. Don’t be jealous.”

“I’m not,” you told him but realized that trying to defend yourself in this situation was only going to reinforce what he already believed.

Negan planted kisses along the side of your head, his hands ghosting along your hips. “Mhm,” he teased quietly.

His movements became more intense and he husked in your ear, “Come to bed. Let me show you how much I love ya.”

You had a feeling this would be the last time and you vowed to make it one of the best you had given to him.

<> <> <>

Negan had left with Sasha. And some part of you felt broken. She had sacrificed so much to try to take Negan down. More than you had in months. You had fallen susceptible to him, seeing a part of him that the others weren’t allowed to see. He wasn’t all bad but… you had ties to the group he was threatening. Without that, you might have wanted to stay. Might have wanted him to take care of you and cherish you the way he was doing. But this was your family he was going to attack and destroy. As much as you had seen of his good side, you couldn’t stand by while he slaughtered them – if he did slaughter them, that is. You would never underestimate Rick.

You had gathered supplies the moment you had heard that they were going to take Sasha back to Alexandria and try to use her as bait for Rick to stand down.

She had lost and sacrificed so much, and to be used as bait? You couldn’t stomach it. You wouldn’t let that be in vain. And if that meant hurting Negan personally – not only with the loss of one of his favorite – pardon your arrogance at naming yourself one of those – wives but also his child… you would take it.

This shit needed to stop. What good would it do to fight each other when the living needed to reunite against the dead?

<> <> <>

“What are you doing?”

You had been so close to leaving the Sanctuary through a part of the perimeter that didn’t have guards. But one of them had seen you anyway as you pretended to make to cut through the wire. You of course were not going to, considering it would jeopardize the rest of the Sanctuary. You didn’t want a repeat here of what happened at the prison. You had that much compassion for these people here. You just needed keys.

What was the point in lying? “What does it look like I’m doing?”

The guy’s face was dark, “You little bitch. Do you know what Negan is going to do to you if you leave? Where the hell do you even think you’ll go?”

Not wasting any time, you swung the wire cutters, hitting the guy upside the head. The guy was knocked out, laying beneath you.

“Going home,” you said to no one. Snatching his keys off of him, you walked towards the small gate. You shifted your backpack on your shoulder before moving past the door into the walkers tied down. There weren’t a lot of walkers here considering it was an outpost part of the gate. And you had planned that. But it still unnerved you the second they all had their attention on you. You weaved your way through them quickly, making sure none of them got close enough to grasp onto your clothes, body, or backpack.

<> <> <>

Alexandria was in ruins. You had heard the gunfire from far away, seen the slain as you had walked in. There were walkers roaming around nearby considering all the noise that had been going on, so you were trying to be quiet. You had come up to the gate after Negan’s guys had left and hit the ones closest to the gate with your knife strategically. You cursed yourself for being so out of shape, both physically and in form. But, considering you’d been pampered for almost a few months at this point, not to mention pregnant, you hadn’t had the practice. It was kind of like riding a bike but you were rusty.

There was no one sitting at the posts and you felt it was risky to yell. But, you might have to.

“RICK!” you shouted, readying your knife for the walkers that would be close by.

Silence.

You heard rustling behind you on the road, where walkers had most definitely heard your yell. Casting your eyes around, you gauged how far away they were and which ones would be the biggest threat. You were going to have to kill some more. Your shirt was already stained.

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself, staring at the gate. “Hurry the fuck up.”

Trying again, “MICHONNE!”

There was movement behind the gate but also, unfortunately on your side.

Cursing to yourself, you turned to your right, stabbing a walker in the head before yanking it out and taking out the one behind it.

Someone had crawled up the post by the gate. Carl. You recognized him immediately.

You couldn’t help but to shout, “You gonna let me in or what?”

Another walker, this time to your left.

“Open the gate!” Carl bellowed down to whoever was on the ground. “Now!”

It took less than a minute but it felt like forever before the gates were opened. You had killed a few more walkers in that time and you were starting to get tired. Being pregnant was not doing you any favors.

You were joined by your family, coming out to finish off the walkers while Carl pulled you back into Alexandria. You followed behind him thankfully.

The gates were closed and you were surrounded by a group of people you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. You hugged Carl close and he held you back tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” you told him, tears brimming your eyes. You didn’t know what you were apologizing for but it felt right. Maybe for not being able to help them out more. Or for failing them in escaping the Sanctuary after you had learned how it worked.

The moment you pulled away from Carl, you were pulled towards someone else, cradled to their chest. The sob sounded familiar and you knew whose arms you were in.

Daryl embraced you, tears stinging his eyes. You almost went weak with the emotion he was showing.

“I’m sorry I didn’t go with you,” you choked out.

His arms wrapped around you tighter if that was possible, “Don’t! Don’t do that.”

Your tears wet his shirt as he cradled your head, tears running down his own face. You were overwhelmed that he was still overcome with emotion to see you and hold you after everything that had transpired over the last bit of time.

When you finally pulled away from him reluctantly, he grasped your face, staring down at you, trying to drink as much of you in as possible. You smiled through tears and you kissed his hand. He smiled in return.

Turning, you faced a more scrutinizing gaze. Rick was there, staring you down. You tried to back away from Daryl but he held you firmly in place, pulling you back to him even. Rick’s eyes traveled to your stomach, where you were beginning to show.

His voice was quiet as he questioned, “Did you… was it…”

Of course he wanted to know about it. “Yes.” Rick looked torn between anger and sadness. “Rick… it was consensual.” You felt ashamed admitting it and felt the need to try to defend yourself for whatever reason. “He wouldn’t trust me other– ”

“I know.”

His response surprised you. Rick nodded. “I know…” he actually looked sad, whatever anger had been there dissipated. His eyes moved over you for a moment before he pulled you away from Daryl, hugging you tight. You felt a sob rack his chest before he pulled it back, holding you tighter. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.” His voice was so quiet, you barely heard him. “This is my fault.”

“Rick –”

“No, it is,” he cut you off. You closed your mouth, letting him get his grief out.

Rick planted a long, careful kiss on your forehead before pulling away. His eyes rested on your stomach again. You gave him a small smile.

“He’s gonna be pissed. No doubt about that. But there’s already a war going on. What’s another battle?” you proposed quietly.

Rick nodded. “I promise we will take care of you. Better this time.”

“You guys did an alright job. You sent one of your best.”

You shot a look towards Daryl and he shifted uncomfortably.

“Go to him,” Rick half ordered you.

Daryl embraced you tightly once again. He rocked with you, and you felt his hands trying to hold you tighter. “I’m glad you’re back,” he got out.

So were you. For the moment you could be happy you were back with your family. The moment was good. Good enough that you could push away the thought of what was to come.

“Me too, love.”


End file.
